1 00:00:45,565 --> 00:00:50,565 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull M_I_SForEver 2 00:00:55,307 --> 00:00:57,309 ♪♪ 3 00:01:10,458 --> 00:01:11,992 [beard trimmer buzzing] 4 00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:30,612 ♪♪ 5 00:01:34,483 --> 00:01:37,985 [customer service representatives indistinct] 6 00:01:41,690 --> 00:01:43,224 [woman] Give me a second, I'll send it over. 7 00:01:43,257 --> 00:01:45,494 Okay, is this everybody? 8 00:01:45,527 --> 00:01:47,596 Just leave the door open. 9 00:01:47,629 --> 00:01:49,231 All right, gentlemen... 10 00:01:49,264 --> 00:01:51,501 and... lady. 11 00:01:51,534 --> 00:01:53,335 My name is Bob Glasser. 12 00:01:53,369 --> 00:01:55,204 I've been sent from corporate in Akron 13 00:01:55,237 --> 00:01:57,105 to boost your productivity. 14 00:01:57,139 --> 00:01:58,741 Now we found the best way to do that 15 00:01:58,775 --> 00:02:01,411 is in boosting the fun quotient of your employees. 16 00:02:01,444 --> 00:02:03,446 So I'm going to tell you a joke. 17 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:05,482 ["Cissy Strut" by The Meters playing] 18 00:02:19,195 --> 00:02:21,799 By the by, any joke told in the confines of this office 19 00:02:21,832 --> 00:02:23,701 must be within OSHA regulations 20 00:02:23,734 --> 00:02:26,537 and not create any discomfort, sexual or otherwise 21 00:02:26,570 --> 00:02:29,205 to the audience listening to said joke. 22 00:02:29,239 --> 00:02:31,675 Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. 23 00:02:31,709 --> 00:02:35,713 All right, a priest, a minister, and a gay rabbi walk into a brothel. 24 00:02:35,746 --> 00:02:37,749 ♪♪ 25 00:02:41,185 --> 00:02:43,153 - What is that? - [woman] Uh... 26 00:02:44,489 --> 00:02:47,224 That's G-Money. He works here. 27 00:02:47,258 --> 00:02:50,362 - G-Money? - G-Money is his nickname. 28 00:02:50,395 --> 00:02:52,196 - He works here? - Yes. 29 00:02:52,229 --> 00:02:54,499 Well, that's unacceptable. 30 00:02:54,533 --> 00:02:56,535 Just looking at this man, 31 00:02:56,568 --> 00:02:59,371 you can tell that he's breaking about eight different dress code policies. 32 00:02:59,404 --> 00:03:02,808 Yes, but G-Money is actually a special case. 33 00:03:02,842 --> 00:03:05,176 Special? Oh, like special? 34 00:03:05,210 --> 00:03:07,380 So we get a little tax credit or something? 35 00:03:07,413 --> 00:03:09,549 No, no, not that kind of special. 36 00:03:09,582 --> 00:03:14,587 He is the company's top sales performer for three straight years. 37 00:03:14,620 --> 00:03:17,355 - That? That is top sales? - [woman] Morning, G-Money! 38 00:03:17,390 --> 00:03:18,858 - [man] G-Money! - [woman 2] Good morning, G! 39 00:03:18,891 --> 00:03:20,860 - For three years? - Three years. 40 00:03:20,893 --> 00:03:22,695 - The peacock? - Mm-hmm. 41 00:03:22,728 --> 00:03:26,198 All right. I'd like to see him in my office. 42 00:03:26,232 --> 00:03:28,234 - Okay. - The rest of you can F-O. 43 00:03:28,267 --> 00:03:29,736 - I'll tell you the joke later. - Okay. 44 00:03:29,770 --> 00:03:32,171 - Oh... - Is this... is this my office? 45 00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:35,241 First in overall sales. 46 00:03:35,274 --> 00:03:37,611 First in ancillary sales. Well... 47 00:03:39,646 --> 00:03:41,415 This is impressive. 48 00:03:41,448 --> 00:03:44,484 - Thank you, sir. - I just don't understand 49 00:03:44,518 --> 00:03:46,653 how is it that you're outperforming 50 00:03:46,687 --> 00:03:49,524 my entire sales staff by... 51 00:03:50,758 --> 00:03:53,394 364%?! 52 00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:58,231 The truth? 53 00:03:58,265 --> 00:04:00,602 I love my job. 54 00:04:02,336 --> 00:04:03,805 That's good. Very good. 55 00:04:05,305 --> 00:04:07,442 - Bob, I've got to ask. - What? 56 00:04:07,475 --> 00:04:09,343 Is that... and gosh darn it if it is... 57 00:04:09,377 --> 00:04:12,781 I'm frizzle-frazzled and pardon my French, all of it... 58 00:04:12,815 --> 00:04:15,249 Is that a Blues Traveler's harmonica? 59 00:04:16,652 --> 00:04:19,555 - You have a good eye. - Shut the front door! 60 00:04:19,588 --> 00:04:21,557 - Are you kidding me? - No, I'm not kidding you! 61 00:04:21,590 --> 00:04:23,926 - What? You? - Yes! 62 00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:26,160 Come on, are you a fan of the Traveler? 63 00:04:26,194 --> 00:04:28,329 - Yes, I'm a Traveler fan. - Okay, here's what happened. 64 00:04:28,364 --> 00:04:30,899 When the Traveler came to town I got backstage, BS. 65 00:04:30,933 --> 00:04:32,635 After he signs this harmonica, 66 00:04:32,668 --> 00:04:35,905 he lets me put on his harmonica belt. 67 00:04:35,939 --> 00:04:39,442 - Okay, well, mine's not that, but 2014... - Uh-huh. 68 00:04:39,476 --> 00:04:40,744 - Popper, Red Rocks. - Ooh. 69 00:04:40,777 --> 00:04:42,211 - A little high. You know? - Yeah. 70 00:04:42,244 --> 00:04:43,880 You know what we do at the Traveler. 71 00:04:43,913 --> 00:04:45,949 - What happens at the Traveler... - ...stays there. 72 00:04:45,982 --> 00:04:47,450 I'm in the audience, 73 00:04:47,484 --> 00:04:50,185 - harmonica solo with his nose. - Shut up! 74 00:04:50,219 --> 00:04:51,821 - Nasal solo. - That's amazing. 75 00:04:51,855 --> 00:04:53,757 - Yes! 14 minutes. - What? 76 00:04:53,790 --> 00:04:55,357 - Yeah. - We should jam sometime. 77 00:04:55,392 --> 00:04:57,594 Oh, my God. I'd jam right now. 78 00:04:57,627 --> 00:04:59,396 - You play? - Yeah. You got some peanut butter? 79 00:04:59,429 --> 00:05:01,432 - Because I got the jam, baby. - [laughing] 80 00:05:01,465 --> 00:05:02,800 You don't think I carry a harmonica with me everywhere I go? 81 00:05:02,833 --> 00:05:03,934 Oh, my God! Are you kidding me? 82 00:05:03,968 --> 00:05:05,670 - Yeah! I do. - What? No! 83 00:05:05,703 --> 00:05:08,539 [harmonicas playing] 84 00:05:24,556 --> 00:05:26,558 ♪♪ 85 00:05:33,297 --> 00:05:34,533 What do you want? 86 00:05:35,901 --> 00:05:37,436 Excuse me? 87 00:05:37,469 --> 00:05:42,574 Oh. Yeah. Can I get a wine spritzer, please? 88 00:05:42,607 --> 00:05:45,276 Actually, no, make that a lemon drop martini. 89 00:05:45,309 --> 00:05:47,479 [Kely] Speaking as a literary agent, 90 00:05:47,512 --> 00:05:49,749 not everyone has to be dead at the end of a children's story. 91 00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:51,551 I just think it's a part of life, right? 92 00:05:51,584 --> 00:05:54,520 The sooner, the better for them to learn it. 93 00:05:54,554 --> 00:05:56,022 - Right. - Yeah. 94 00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:57,457 [mouthing] Come here. 95 00:05:57,490 --> 00:05:58,725 No. 96 00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:01,561 [mouthing] You. Them. Both. 97 00:06:01,594 --> 00:06:03,796 Absolutely not! You come here. 98 00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:05,865 I'll be right back. Excuse me. 99 00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:07,734 [sighs] 100 00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:10,470 What the fuck, Sara? 101 00:06:10,503 --> 00:06:12,873 - Shh. Just check out this guy. - ...tell you what colors are. 102 00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:16,342 The disjunctive perturbation of the spatial relationship 103 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,579 brings within its realm of discourse 104 00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:21,448 a distinct juxtaposition. 105 00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:22,649 He's the reason people hate art. 106 00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,521 Really? Then why'd you bring me here? 107 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:29,056 Because you write romance novels, 108 00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:30,557 and you need to get laid. 109 00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:32,392 One circle's small, 110 00:06:32,426 --> 00:06:34,995 down in the bottom, it's big. Why? 111 00:06:35,028 --> 00:06:37,799 Okay, can we talk about something other than men? 112 00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:40,702 You're a lit agent. You should know about the Bechdel test. 113 00:06:40,735 --> 00:06:43,303 Okay. Shall we discuss your deadline? 114 00:06:43,337 --> 00:06:46,741 No! Anything but that. God, I wish I could return that stupid advance. 115 00:06:46,775 --> 00:06:49,077 First of all, I negotiated that advance for you, 116 00:06:49,110 --> 00:06:51,379 so it's not stupid, it's amazing. 117 00:06:51,412 --> 00:06:53,347 Especially considering the fact that nobody reads anymore! 118 00:06:53,381 --> 00:06:55,049 - [man yelps] - Damn it, Sara. 119 00:06:55,083 --> 00:06:57,752 I pulled you out of your sad girl cave to inspire you. 120 00:06:57,786 --> 00:07:00,422 Pop quiz, when was the last time you even had sex? 121 00:07:00,456 --> 00:07:02,424 - Ugh, I don't know. - No, wrong answer. 122 00:07:02,458 --> 00:07:05,694 The answer is 367 days ago. 123 00:07:05,728 --> 00:07:07,897 What, are you tracking my sex life on an app? 124 00:07:07,930 --> 00:07:10,800 Um, it's not an app. It's a text. 125 00:07:10,833 --> 00:07:12,535 That's actually a really good idea for an app. 126 00:07:12,568 --> 00:07:15,336 No. I'm enjoying my celibacy, all right? 127 00:07:15,371 --> 00:07:16,906 It's me time. 128 00:07:16,939 --> 00:07:19,108 Doesn't "me time" mean masturbating? 129 00:07:19,141 --> 00:07:21,844 What? No, it definitely does not. 130 00:07:21,877 --> 00:07:23,613 Really? Well, I've been using it wrong. 131 00:07:23,647 --> 00:07:24,881 Sara, listen, 132 00:07:24,915 --> 00:07:27,417 you owe Axi a book in three months. 133 00:07:27,450 --> 00:07:28,819 Three months. Okay? 134 00:07:28,852 --> 00:07:30,921 So just get those unmanicured fingers 135 00:07:30,954 --> 00:07:33,355 tap, tap, tapping before you lose this contract 136 00:07:33,390 --> 00:07:34,958 and your career is over. 137 00:07:34,991 --> 00:07:37,027 Huh? You are almost 30. 138 00:07:37,060 --> 00:07:39,830 This is my last chance to sell you as a prodigy. 139 00:07:39,863 --> 00:07:42,899 - I am 31. - Don't say that out loud! 140 00:07:42,933 --> 00:07:46,036 This is a kids' world. My biggest deal last year 141 00:07:46,069 --> 00:07:49,674 was for a seven-year-old YouTube star's memoir. 142 00:07:49,707 --> 00:07:51,642 You could just die. I mean, honestly. 143 00:07:53,578 --> 00:07:55,913 So sorry. I'm so sorry. 144 00:07:55,947 --> 00:07:57,982 Oh, my God, I just thought of something funny. 145 00:07:58,015 --> 00:08:00,651 - Here's what I believe. - [shutter clicks] 146 00:08:00,685 --> 00:08:03,988 The selfie has become this religious fervor 147 00:08:04,021 --> 00:08:05,489 and it's just become insatiable. 148 00:08:05,523 --> 00:08:07,124 It's not cool. It's not a selfie. 149 00:08:07,158 --> 00:08:09,427 Hey, it's that guy from the other room. 150 00:08:09,460 --> 00:08:10,962 I'm going to assume your name's Jeff. 151 00:08:10,995 --> 00:08:12,965 What is he doing? 152 00:08:12,998 --> 00:08:16,401 And what about right now? 153 00:08:16,435 --> 00:08:19,638 What about right now? What if we just lived right now? 154 00:08:19,671 --> 00:08:21,740 [chuckling] 155 00:08:21,773 --> 00:08:25,811 Okay, and if we can take the time and stop, 156 00:08:25,844 --> 00:08:29,781 and be ourselves in the moment, right, in this moment right now... 157 00:08:29,815 --> 00:08:31,550 - He's so weird. - We are we. 158 00:08:31,583 --> 00:08:34,152 You are you. He is he. 159 00:08:34,186 --> 00:08:37,857 If we could live in this moment in a Buddhist-like bliss... 160 00:08:37,891 --> 00:08:39,993 Come on. Come on, there's someone I want you to meet. 161 00:08:40,026 --> 00:08:43,162 - Okay, just don't be obvious. I just... Who is this guy? - Come on. 162 00:08:43,196 --> 00:08:45,865 How about I before me, except after you? 163 00:08:45,899 --> 00:08:47,834 I think this world would be a much better place. 164 00:08:47,867 --> 00:08:51,871 And, to be honest, that's what this painting is about. 165 00:08:52,906 --> 00:08:55,742 - I painted it. - Mm. 166 00:08:55,775 --> 00:08:56,943 And shit, sure. 167 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:01,949 I know you don't smoke, but now you do. 168 00:09:04,051 --> 00:09:06,921 I don't know, he looks like Austin Powers fucked a chimney sweep. 169 00:09:06,954 --> 00:09:08,622 - Come on. Come on, let's go. - [coughing] 170 00:09:08,656 --> 00:09:09,857 Yeah. 171 00:09:19,066 --> 00:09:21,068 ♪♪ 172 00:09:32,647 --> 00:09:34,649 [instrumental music playing over headphones] 173 00:09:55,304 --> 00:09:57,206 [Vince] Hey, G, what up, what up? 174 00:09:58,641 --> 00:10:00,242 - Living. - I hear that. 175 00:10:07,683 --> 00:10:10,119 Hey, G. Feel this. 176 00:10:12,856 --> 00:10:14,524 [G] Nice. 177 00:10:17,227 --> 00:10:19,229 ["Karma" by J. Rae playing throughout] 178 00:10:56,234 --> 00:10:58,236 ♪♪ 179 00:11:01,006 --> 00:11:02,207 Ugh! 180 00:11:20,192 --> 00:11:22,628 [phone ringing] 181 00:11:24,130 --> 00:11:25,331 Hi! 182 00:11:25,365 --> 00:11:27,367 Sara, I am expecting 183 00:11:27,401 --> 00:11:29,035 to see some pages by the end of the week. 184 00:11:29,069 --> 00:11:30,837 Where is this? Okay? 185 00:11:30,870 --> 00:11:33,706 - You hear me? - Yeah. I know, I know. 186 00:11:33,740 --> 00:11:35,608 I am just working here. 187 00:11:36,810 --> 00:11:38,178 Are you fake typing? 188 00:11:38,211 --> 00:11:39,946 [giggling] No. 189 00:11:42,148 --> 00:11:44,150 Really? What did you just type? 190 00:11:44,184 --> 00:11:45,852 Oh, what'd I type? 191 00:11:45,885 --> 00:11:51,292 Let's see here. "Stefan puts his hand on Zelna's neck." 192 00:11:51,325 --> 00:11:53,227 Zelna? I'm sorry, did you say Zelna? 193 00:11:53,260 --> 00:11:57,798 Yeah, Zelna. Zelna Pinks-tin-ton-ton... 194 00:11:57,832 --> 00:12:01,035 - is the name of my protagonist. - Honestly, Sara, 195 00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:03,637 this self-indulgent, narcissistic phase of yours... 196 00:12:03,671 --> 00:12:04,638 This is disgusting! 197 00:12:04,672 --> 00:12:06,040 Has gone on for too long. 198 00:12:06,073 --> 00:12:08,042 Your Simon breakup is messing with my money. 199 00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:11,346 Simon sold his soul and became obsessed 200 00:12:11,379 --> 00:12:14,249 with his 401K and his stock options. 201 00:12:14,282 --> 00:12:18,019 - So, no. - Ooh! Ooh! What an asshole. 202 00:12:18,053 --> 00:12:19,754 He grew up and did something responsible. 203 00:12:19,788 --> 00:12:22,724 Just like every fucking woman in this world wants! 204 00:12:22,757 --> 00:12:26,228 You need to move on, so you have a date tomorrow. His name is Ben. 205 00:12:26,261 --> 00:12:29,030 He is an artist, a real one, who actually makes money. 206 00:12:29,064 --> 00:12:31,266 I've made you a reservation at that place you like 207 00:12:31,299 --> 00:12:32,367 where all the food tastes the same. 208 00:12:32,401 --> 00:12:34,069 No, no, I'm not going. 209 00:12:34,102 --> 00:12:35,439 What'd you say? 210 00:12:35,472 --> 00:12:37,106 No, I'm not going. 211 00:12:39,142 --> 00:12:42,778 Oh, you're going to do it. And do you know why? 212 00:12:42,812 --> 00:12:45,815 Because if you don't, I will expose you 213 00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:49,185 and everyone's going to see how you live. Is that something you want? 214 00:12:49,218 --> 00:12:52,389 People to see the squalor that is your studio apartment? 215 00:12:52,422 --> 00:12:54,824 Sweatpants strewn about? Moldy, discarded, 216 00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:57,126 expensive meal plan containers everywhere? 217 00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:58,995 That pathetic vision board? 218 00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:00,330 I will bring your mother to your apartment, 219 00:13:00,364 --> 00:13:01,899 I swear to God I will. 220 00:13:01,932 --> 00:13:03,767 And do you want her to see that? 221 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:06,069 Okay, fine, who is this guy anyway? 222 00:13:06,103 --> 00:13:08,772 Mm. Ben. This is disgusting. 223 00:13:08,805 --> 00:13:11,008 This is terrible. Get this out of my face. 224 00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:12,209 He came highly recommended. 225 00:13:12,242 --> 00:13:14,111 Makes musical steampunk instruments. 226 00:13:14,144 --> 00:13:15,480 You know, balalaikas, accordions. 227 00:13:15,513 --> 00:13:17,482 Where's my coffee? 228 00:13:17,515 --> 00:13:19,716 Some neo-Victorian shit. 229 00:13:19,750 --> 00:13:21,486 What? 230 00:13:21,519 --> 00:13:24,255 And most importantly, he's a potential client's son, 231 00:13:24,289 --> 00:13:25,790 so don't be gross. 232 00:13:25,823 --> 00:13:27,125 I'm sorry. Don't be late. 233 00:13:27,158 --> 00:13:28,760 Well, I don't even know what he looks like. 234 00:13:28,793 --> 00:13:30,028 I showed him your book jacket photo, 235 00:13:30,061 --> 00:13:31,829 so try and resemble it. 236 00:13:35,967 --> 00:13:38,369 Thank you so much. I don't know what I'd do without him. 237 00:13:41,339 --> 00:13:44,275 And so after working in soul-killing jobs, 238 00:13:44,309 --> 00:13:47,947 I decided to just chuck it all and do something practical. 239 00:13:47,980 --> 00:13:51,951 Hmm. Like designing steampunk instruments? 240 00:13:51,984 --> 00:13:54,421 I love creating something with my own hands, you know? 241 00:13:54,454 --> 00:13:56,121 Like, when you make something, 242 00:13:56,155 --> 00:13:58,991 you put it out there in the world... [sighs] 243 00:13:59,024 --> 00:14:02,795 There's this feeling that you actually, I don't know... 244 00:14:02,828 --> 00:14:04,196 Matter? 245 00:14:06,265 --> 00:14:07,866 Yeah. 246 00:14:09,068 --> 00:14:10,269 Yeah. 247 00:14:12,105 --> 00:14:15,842 - So Kelly tells me you're a writer. - Yeah. 248 00:14:15,875 --> 00:14:18,278 It's actually been kind of crazy. 249 00:14:18,311 --> 00:14:21,147 Right after college, I started this blog, Sara Syndrome. 250 00:14:21,181 --> 00:14:23,451 And it was sort of like a satiric look 251 00:14:23,484 --> 00:14:27,320 at feminism and sexuality in the age of social media. 252 00:14:27,354 --> 00:14:31,425 And now I write these softcore romance novels 253 00:14:31,459 --> 00:14:34,861 for dumb millennials. Like, blergh! 254 00:14:34,894 --> 00:14:36,998 - Now I'm working on my third. - Oh, wow. 255 00:14:37,031 --> 00:14:38,533 Like a series or something? 256 00:14:38,567 --> 00:14:40,234 Would I know it? What's it called? 257 00:14:40,268 --> 00:14:43,438 The debut is called Sext. 258 00:14:43,472 --> 00:14:45,507 But it came out when the word was new, 259 00:14:45,540 --> 00:14:49,143 - so it was cool at the time. - Got it. 260 00:14:49,176 --> 00:14:51,580 Actually, the whole thing was written entirely in emojis. 261 00:14:51,613 --> 00:14:53,314 I can't tell if you're kidding. 262 00:14:53,347 --> 00:14:55,216 Guess you'll have to read it to find out. 263 00:14:55,249 --> 00:14:57,952 - [chuckles] - The critics were okay with it, 264 00:14:57,985 --> 00:15:00,188 but almost everyone hated the ending. 265 00:15:00,222 --> 00:15:01,323 Why? What happens? 266 00:15:01,356 --> 00:15:03,593 Well, the protagonist, Sara, 267 00:15:03,626 --> 00:15:07,262 she flies into this passionate fit of jealous rage 268 00:15:07,296 --> 00:15:12,334 and castrates her boyfriend, Ben, with a paring knife. 269 00:15:12,367 --> 00:15:15,237 Yeah! [laughs] Gotcha! 270 00:15:17,005 --> 00:15:19,475 Oh, I'm kidding. [laughs] 271 00:15:19,509 --> 00:15:20,909 That was a joke. 272 00:15:20,942 --> 00:15:24,047 [laughs] Whew. 273 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,617 Obviously, they're not called Ben and Sara, that would be crazy. 274 00:15:26,650 --> 00:15:30,119 But she does castrate him at the end. 275 00:15:30,153 --> 00:15:33,189 I guess I'll just have to read the next one. 276 00:15:33,222 --> 00:15:34,391 What is the next one called? 277 00:15:34,425 --> 00:15:36,025 Chastity. 278 00:15:36,059 --> 00:15:38,161 Times have changed, huh? 279 00:15:38,194 --> 00:15:40,263 No, but seriously, and don't tell Kelly this, 280 00:15:40,296 --> 00:15:45,436 but I haven't actually written a single word in like two months. 281 00:15:45,469 --> 00:15:47,439 Am I too young to be washed up? 282 00:15:49,674 --> 00:15:51,409 Well, maybe you're abstaining from writing 283 00:15:51,443 --> 00:15:53,110 to learn about abstinence. 284 00:15:54,278 --> 00:15:57,047 Yeah. Maybe I am doing that. 285 00:15:58,248 --> 00:16:00,017 That's what I'm doing. 286 00:16:00,050 --> 00:16:02,052 ♪♪ 287 00:16:06,390 --> 00:16:08,192 [man] ♪ Growing up a little dog ♪ 288 00:16:08,225 --> 00:16:10,662 ♪ Feeling insecure ♪ 289 00:16:10,695 --> 00:16:13,998 ♪ Why can't we all get along in this doggone world? ♪ 290 00:16:14,032 --> 00:16:15,634 ♪ Get along, little doggies ♪ 291 00:16:17,436 --> 00:16:19,137 ♪ Little doggies, get along ♪ 292 00:16:22,441 --> 00:16:26,545 ♪ Growing up a big dog in this big dog world ♪ 293 00:16:26,579 --> 00:16:31,015 ♪ Why can't we all get along and stop being so insecure? ♪ 294 00:16:31,049 --> 00:16:33,051 [guitar playing] 295 00:16:34,420 --> 00:16:35,955 I'm Cowboy Cody. 296 00:16:35,988 --> 00:16:38,592 You guys might remember me from right now. 297 00:16:38,625 --> 00:16:40,159 Maybe next week too. 298 00:16:40,192 --> 00:16:42,696 You can maybe remember me from next week. 299 00:16:42,729 --> 00:16:44,230 I'll be back. 300 00:16:44,263 --> 00:16:46,232 Take care of yourselves. Drink water. 301 00:16:58,412 --> 00:17:00,180 Excuse me. 302 00:17:00,213 --> 00:17:01,516 Don't I know you from somewhere? 303 00:17:01,549 --> 00:17:03,718 Well, you might, ma'am. Name's Cowboy Cody. 304 00:17:03,751 --> 00:17:06,052 - Play down here all the time. - Tuesday night. 305 00:17:06,086 --> 00:17:08,556 Weren't you at the Wenke Gallery in Fremont? 306 00:17:08,589 --> 00:17:10,390 [chuckles] 307 00:17:10,425 --> 00:17:13,260 Cowboy Cody at an art gallery? Now that's a knee-slapper. 308 00:17:13,293 --> 00:17:16,096 I saw you talking like a stuck-up art critic. 309 00:17:16,129 --> 00:17:19,400 And then later, you were like this stoner professor. 310 00:17:19,434 --> 00:17:22,603 And now, what are you, like, some kind of Southern guy? 311 00:17:22,637 --> 00:17:25,273 Do I look like a college professor to you, ma'am? 312 00:17:25,306 --> 00:17:26,675 I'm just a simple cowboy. 313 00:17:26,708 --> 00:17:30,011 I write songs. Sometimes I sing them. 314 00:17:30,044 --> 00:17:31,045 Have a good day, ma'am. 315 00:17:32,481 --> 00:17:35,082 - Wait, so you're a cowboy? - Yes, ma'am. 316 00:17:35,116 --> 00:17:37,519 Is this some kind of reality show or...? 317 00:17:37,553 --> 00:17:40,422 Ma'am, I truly think you have me mistaken for somebody else. 318 00:17:40,456 --> 00:17:42,990 - Have a nice day now. - No, no, it was you. 319 00:17:43,024 --> 00:17:44,693 You're hard to miss in a crowd. 320 00:17:44,726 --> 00:17:46,428 Come on, let me buy you a coffee or something. 321 00:17:46,462 --> 00:17:48,631 Bless your heart, but I got to skedaddle out of here 322 00:17:48,665 --> 00:17:51,166 and giddy on up onto my pony. 323 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,368 You need to learn some better cowboy words. 324 00:17:53,403 --> 00:17:55,638 Come on, I'm really curious. 325 00:17:55,672 --> 00:17:57,607 All right, well, if you're itching to see me, 326 00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,676 I'm going to be in Fremont, Wednesday at 8:00. 327 00:18:04,179 --> 00:18:06,449 - Who the hell are you? - I'm Cowboy Cody. 328 00:18:14,758 --> 00:18:16,326 [phone ringing] 329 00:18:20,363 --> 00:18:22,566 - Hello. - Hi, it's Ben. How are you? 330 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,702 Uh, good, you know? 331 00:18:24,735 --> 00:18:27,638 Just doing my thing, you know, getting some productive writing done. 332 00:18:27,671 --> 00:18:31,675 How about you? How's the flugelhorn coming? 333 00:18:31,709 --> 00:18:33,209 Are you blowing it? [chuckles] 334 00:18:34,845 --> 00:18:37,549 That was an attempt at flugelhorn humor. [chuckles] 335 00:18:39,250 --> 00:18:41,185 Please say something else. 336 00:18:41,218 --> 00:18:43,455 Oh, I was wondering if you wanted to go out 337 00:18:43,488 --> 00:18:45,790 - Wednesday night with some friends of mine. - Ooh. 338 00:18:45,824 --> 00:18:47,692 What were your friends thinking? 339 00:18:47,726 --> 00:18:49,193 I'm not really sure yet. 340 00:18:49,226 --> 00:18:52,263 Just maybe some drinks or maybe a show? 341 00:18:52,296 --> 00:18:55,834 You know what? Maybe we could start off at Venue. 342 00:18:55,867 --> 00:18:58,737 Some performers are doing something there. 343 00:18:58,770 --> 00:19:02,608 I love performers doing something, so sure. 344 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:05,645 Great. So I'll see you then. 345 00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:06,712 See you then. 346 00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:16,388 [woman crying] 347 00:19:16,422 --> 00:19:18,424 - [wailing] - [discordant music playing] 348 00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:28,067 [woman screaming and wailing] 349 00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:35,174 What am I watching? 350 00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:37,376 I think it's a satirical piece 351 00:19:37,411 --> 00:19:40,681 on the entanglements created by the modern social construct. 352 00:19:40,714 --> 00:19:43,382 I like the body positive aspect to the work. 353 00:19:43,417 --> 00:19:45,886 It's so much a part of what's missing in post-modern art. 354 00:19:45,919 --> 00:19:48,523 [wailing continues] 355 00:19:48,556 --> 00:19:50,257 Bet by the end they give birth to a sweater. 356 00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:51,726 [laughing] 357 00:19:51,759 --> 00:19:54,629 That's impossible. Sweaters aren't humans. 358 00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:58,298 Chloe here is a musician. 359 00:19:58,332 --> 00:20:00,602 Yeah? What do you play? 360 00:20:00,635 --> 00:20:02,870 Chloe isn't talking right now. 361 00:20:02,904 --> 00:20:04,606 Oh. Why? 362 00:20:04,639 --> 00:20:07,609 She's practicing meditative silence for 24 hours. 363 00:20:11,780 --> 00:20:13,582 Cool. 364 00:20:13,616 --> 00:20:15,618 [screaming and moaning] 365 00:20:19,855 --> 00:20:23,592 Give it up for Yarna Sutra, everybody. 366 00:20:23,626 --> 00:20:25,661 [man] Whoo! 367 00:20:25,694 --> 00:20:27,930 Excellent! Excellent! 368 00:20:27,963 --> 00:20:30,833 Don't let my cat near those guys. 369 00:20:30,866 --> 00:20:34,536 Up next, let's have a big round of applause 370 00:20:34,570 --> 00:20:37,440 for Allie Cornbush! 371 00:20:38,775 --> 00:20:40,844 [scattered cheers] 372 00:20:40,877 --> 00:20:42,879 [cheering increases] 373 00:20:45,448 --> 00:20:47,349 My name's Allie Cornbush. 374 00:20:47,383 --> 00:20:50,520 I'm from Iowa City, Iowa. Go, Hawkeyes! 375 00:20:50,553 --> 00:20:53,723 - [cheering] - [laughs] 376 00:20:53,757 --> 00:20:56,358 I just got in town yesterday and I got off the Greyhound, 377 00:20:56,392 --> 00:20:58,863 and there were two of the nicest fellas waiting for me. 378 00:20:58,896 --> 00:21:00,798 One of them offered to help me with my luggage 379 00:21:00,831 --> 00:21:02,466 and the other one offered to get married. 380 00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:04,234 - Ooh! [laughs] - Tomorrow. 381 00:21:04,267 --> 00:21:05,536 I'm going to put it off until tomorrow. 382 00:21:05,569 --> 00:21:06,604 We're going to do it tomorrow. 383 00:21:06,637 --> 00:21:09,239 [laughs] Oh, my God. 384 00:21:09,272 --> 00:21:12,208 The reason that I came down here is because of my grandma. 385 00:21:12,242 --> 00:21:15,446 - God bless her soul. - Aw... 386 00:21:15,479 --> 00:21:19,984 So tonight, I'd like to perform for you a song that I wrote. 387 00:21:20,017 --> 00:21:21,519 It's called "How To Be Alone." 388 00:21:21,552 --> 00:21:23,955 It's for anyone who's ever felt lost. 389 00:21:34,398 --> 00:21:37,368 ♪ Wish I knew how to be alone ♪ 390 00:21:37,401 --> 00:21:39,471 ♪ Wish I knew how to do it ♪ 391 00:21:41,006 --> 00:21:43,709 ♪ Wish I knew how to be in the room by myself ♪ 392 00:21:43,742 --> 00:21:46,310 ♪ Without thinking about you and ♪ 393 00:21:47,447 --> 00:21:48,815 ♪ The times that we had ♪ 394 00:21:48,848 --> 00:21:50,950 ♪ The people we saw ♪ 395 00:21:50,983 --> 00:21:52,852 ♪ The places we saw together ♪ 396 00:21:54,620 --> 00:21:57,924 ♪ Wish I knew how to be alone by myself ♪ 397 00:21:57,957 --> 00:22:00,325 ♪ I just don't know how to do it ♪ 398 00:22:03,295 --> 00:22:06,532 ♪ Wish I knew how to build a boat ♪ 399 00:22:06,566 --> 00:22:08,901 ♪ I wish I knew how to do it ♪ 400 00:22:11,672 --> 00:22:14,675 ♪ Guess I could grab a book off a shelf ♪ 401 00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:18,344 ♪ And start rifling through it ♪ 402 00:22:18,377 --> 00:22:21,448 ♪ But, oh, I forgot, I don't know how to sail ♪ 403 00:22:21,482 --> 00:22:24,551 ♪ I don't have a sea leg to do it ♪ 404 00:22:26,887 --> 00:22:28,422 ♪ I guess I'm landlocked ♪ 405 00:22:28,455 --> 00:22:30,557 ♪ With a boat in my driveway ♪ 406 00:22:30,591 --> 00:22:32,358 ♪ Oops ♪ 407 00:22:32,391 --> 00:22:33,660 ♪ Because ♪ 408 00:22:35,730 --> 00:22:36,798 ♪ I blew it. ♪ 409 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:40,969 [guitar playing] 410 00:22:45,807 --> 00:22:47,776 Thank you guys so much. I'm Allie Cornbush. 411 00:22:47,809 --> 00:22:51,345 - [whooping] Yeah! - Give it up for Allie Cornbush! 412 00:22:53,615 --> 00:22:55,382 Yo, Allie Cornbush! 413 00:22:55,416 --> 00:22:59,021 - Hey, darling. How are you? - That was amazing. 414 00:22:59,054 --> 00:23:00,990 I mean, surprising, but amazing. 415 00:23:01,023 --> 00:23:03,559 Thank you so much. You're so sweet. 416 00:23:03,592 --> 00:23:05,393 [chuckles] 417 00:23:05,427 --> 00:23:08,798 Oh, this is Ben and, uh... 418 00:23:08,831 --> 00:23:11,000 Ben's friends. 419 00:23:11,033 --> 00:23:13,736 That was an interesting performance. 420 00:23:13,769 --> 00:23:17,039 Thank you so much. You know, sometimes the Lord and the Holy Spirit 421 00:23:17,072 --> 00:23:20,509 just come down into me, and I don't know what I'm gonna do. 422 00:23:20,543 --> 00:23:22,779 - Oh! - Ooh, ooh, ooh! 423 00:23:22,813 --> 00:23:23,947 - [laughing] - Ooh, ooh! 424 00:23:26,650 --> 00:23:28,552 You've got to join us. 425 00:23:28,585 --> 00:23:31,054 I wish I could, but I've got to go. Nice meeting y'all. 426 00:23:31,087 --> 00:23:35,091 - Toodle-oo! - Wait, where are you going? 427 00:23:35,125 --> 00:23:37,828 What do you mean? I got places to go and people to see. 428 00:23:37,861 --> 00:23:39,462 Well, can I come? 429 00:23:39,496 --> 00:23:40,730 How about a raincheck? 430 00:23:40,764 --> 00:23:43,099 Well, we could, but I'm free now. 431 00:23:43,133 --> 00:23:46,036 I mean, I am kind of on a date, but... 432 00:23:46,069 --> 00:23:48,139 Yeah, he seems happy with the farmer and his girlfriend, 433 00:23:48,172 --> 00:23:50,908 so how about it? 434 00:23:50,942 --> 00:23:54,111 Look, truthfully, I don't really find people 435 00:23:54,145 --> 00:23:56,113 that interesting or worth getting to know. 436 00:23:56,147 --> 00:23:59,417 But I'm obviously very intrigued by you, so... 437 00:24:05,022 --> 00:24:08,426 All right. You're persistent. 438 00:24:08,459 --> 00:24:10,963 Ballard Avenue and Montlake Boulevard at midnight. 439 00:24:10,996 --> 00:24:13,031 Midnight? 440 00:24:13,065 --> 00:24:14,833 Name's Sara, by the way, in case you wanted to know. 441 00:24:14,867 --> 00:24:16,969 - Toodle-oo! - Okay. 442 00:24:17,002 --> 00:24:19,004 [indistinct chatter] 443 00:24:20,772 --> 00:24:22,774 [distant siren wailing] 444 00:24:26,044 --> 00:24:27,579 [glass bottle breaks] 445 00:24:34,519 --> 00:24:35,889 Oh, hey. 446 00:24:38,191 --> 00:24:39,391 Let's go. 447 00:24:40,460 --> 00:24:42,061 Oh. Okay. 448 00:24:42,095 --> 00:24:44,097 ♪♪ 449 00:25:04,118 --> 00:25:06,687 Um... um... 450 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:09,990 What-what is this? No, seriously. 451 00:25:10,024 --> 00:25:12,459 Okay, wait for me. Wait for me, wait for me. 452 00:25:14,495 --> 00:25:15,562 - [pipe rattling] - [glass breaks] 453 00:25:15,596 --> 00:25:16,964 - [Sara yelps] - [laughter] 454 00:25:20,167 --> 00:25:21,635 Did you hear that? 455 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,609 Is anybody there? 456 00:25:27,642 --> 00:25:30,712 No? Okay. 457 00:25:32,113 --> 00:25:33,882 Wait, what? 458 00:25:33,915 --> 00:25:36,084 Where did you... go? 459 00:25:37,719 --> 00:25:38,987 Hello?! 460 00:25:40,255 --> 00:25:41,756 Hello?! 461 00:25:43,758 --> 00:25:45,760 Hello?! 462 00:25:45,794 --> 00:25:47,697 Oh, my God! 463 00:25:47,730 --> 00:25:49,832 You are in the middle of nowhere 464 00:25:49,865 --> 00:25:52,969 at 1:00 in the morning with some guy whose name you don't even know. 465 00:25:53,002 --> 00:25:54,704 And now you're in the middle of a horror movie. 466 00:25:54,737 --> 00:25:57,573 Not your best idea, Sara. Not your best idea. 467 00:25:57,606 --> 00:25:59,008 - [screams] - Surprise! 468 00:25:59,041 --> 00:26:00,576 [high-pitched voice] It's me, DJ Katamine. 469 00:26:00,609 --> 00:26:05,581 Okay. First of all, do not scare me! 470 00:26:05,614 --> 00:26:08,617 And secondly, why are you wearing that? 471 00:26:12,622 --> 00:26:14,691 Put it on. Let's find out. 472 00:26:15,859 --> 00:26:18,662 - Wait, seriously? - Put it on. 473 00:26:18,695 --> 00:26:21,064 Put it on, come on, put it on, put it on. 474 00:26:21,098 --> 00:26:23,100 ♪♪ 475 00:26:24,568 --> 00:26:27,037 Well, if it ain't the OG! 476 00:26:27,070 --> 00:26:28,939 What's good, man? 477 00:26:28,972 --> 00:26:31,241 Hey, yo, we can't wait to see you spin tonight. 478 00:26:31,274 --> 00:26:34,912 - Wait, you're a DJ? - Something like that. 479 00:26:34,946 --> 00:26:37,148 Doesn't Deadmaus have this whole angle covered? 480 00:26:37,181 --> 00:26:39,317 Yeah, where do you think he got the idea from? 481 00:26:39,350 --> 00:26:41,152 What? 482 00:26:41,185 --> 00:26:43,021 Hey, man, what's with the chick? 483 00:26:43,054 --> 00:26:44,856 - She's all right. - I'm all right. 484 00:26:44,889 --> 00:26:46,858 What are you, a DJ wannabe? 485 00:26:46,891 --> 00:26:50,294 Yeah, that's right. I'm a DJ wannabe. 486 00:26:50,328 --> 00:26:53,765 - Man, I ain't working with no toy. - Toy? 487 00:26:53,798 --> 00:26:55,299 How long you been in the game for? 488 00:26:55,333 --> 00:26:57,201 You're still just hitting play on Spotify. 489 00:26:58,670 --> 00:26:59,872 Is she in the decks? 490 00:26:59,905 --> 00:27:01,240 No, I got something else planned for her. 491 00:27:01,273 --> 00:27:03,008 You do? 492 00:27:03,042 --> 00:27:04,710 Just keep the toy away from me. 493 00:27:07,813 --> 00:27:08,981 You're the boss. 494 00:27:12,785 --> 00:27:14,820 ["Glow" by Liqwyd playing] 495 00:27:19,725 --> 00:27:22,161 What's up, you sexy mofos! 496 00:27:22,194 --> 00:27:24,164 [cheering] 497 00:27:24,197 --> 00:27:26,866 All right, our headliner's coming to the stage. 498 00:27:26,900 --> 00:27:28,768 Give it up for the one, 499 00:27:28,802 --> 00:27:32,005 the only, DJ Katamine! 500 00:27:32,038 --> 00:27:35,675 [cheering continues] 501 00:27:35,708 --> 00:27:38,278 Yo, yo, yo! What's up? 502 00:27:38,311 --> 00:27:40,680 Make some noise! 503 00:27:40,713 --> 00:27:43,283 Let's give it up for the hottest feline hype person in town! 504 00:27:43,316 --> 00:27:47,088 Give it up for DJ Meow-na Lisa! 505 00:27:52,693 --> 00:27:55,729 Hell no! I'm not going out there. I'm not a performer. 506 00:27:55,763 --> 00:27:57,331 You're wearing a mask. 507 00:27:57,364 --> 00:27:59,333 You can be anybody you want to be, just take it. 508 00:27:59,366 --> 00:28:01,268 You go out there, not me. 509 00:28:01,302 --> 00:28:03,637 Look, I brought you here for a reason. 510 00:28:03,671 --> 00:28:05,072 I got a feeling about you. 511 00:28:07,141 --> 00:28:09,143 ["Glow" by Liqwyd playing] 512 00:28:25,093 --> 00:28:29,397 Who's ready to lap up some milk?! 513 00:28:29,432 --> 00:28:32,767 [cheering] 514 00:28:38,908 --> 00:28:40,910 ♪♪ 515 00:28:47,150 --> 00:28:50,353 Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. 516 00:28:51,455 --> 00:28:52,955 That was... 517 00:28:52,989 --> 00:28:56,325 That was so much fun! Oh, my God! 518 00:28:56,359 --> 00:28:59,263 You got me to perform in front of people, and I actually liked it. 519 00:28:59,296 --> 00:29:02,299 Yo, yo, yo. I'm out, G. 520 00:29:03,734 --> 00:29:05,369 Meow-na! 521 00:29:05,402 --> 00:29:07,304 - Girl, you killed it tonight. - Thank you. 522 00:29:07,337 --> 00:29:09,039 Hey, you can hype up any of my gigs. 523 00:29:09,072 --> 00:29:12,209 - All right? Deuces! - Oh, thank you! Bye! 524 00:29:14,077 --> 00:29:15,078 Yo. 525 00:29:17,347 --> 00:29:18,682 I'm out. 526 00:29:21,985 --> 00:29:24,722 Hey, I haven't been up this late since college 527 00:29:24,756 --> 00:29:27,058 and I am still ready to go. So where do you want to go? 528 00:29:27,091 --> 00:29:28,993 What do you want to do? Let's do it. 529 00:29:29,027 --> 00:29:30,929 Oh, don't shake your head no. 530 00:29:30,962 --> 00:29:32,130 Next time. 531 00:29:33,131 --> 00:29:34,032 Admit it. 532 00:29:34,065 --> 00:29:35,467 You like me. 533 00:29:35,501 --> 00:29:37,936 - Give me your number. - I'll see you around. 534 00:29:37,969 --> 00:29:41,005 Oh, let me hit you on your celly-welly, DJ Katamine! 535 00:29:41,039 --> 00:29:42,941 What's good? 536 00:29:42,974 --> 00:29:44,809 All right, fine. I'll give you my number. 537 00:29:44,842 --> 00:29:48,113 206-855-3152! 538 00:29:49,281 --> 00:29:50,883 All right, text me! 539 00:29:50,916 --> 00:29:52,918 ♪♪ 540 00:30:02,094 --> 00:30:04,296 [Southern man] You sound like a fine young man. 541 00:30:04,330 --> 00:30:07,366 - What'd you say your name was? - Name's George, sir. 542 00:30:07,399 --> 00:30:09,835 Now don't tell me you're from Alabama yourself. 543 00:30:09,868 --> 00:30:12,172 Yep! Born in the great city of Selma, sir. 544 00:30:12,205 --> 00:30:14,841 Well, heck, I knew I liked you. 545 00:30:14,874 --> 00:30:16,376 I love the films of Shammi Kapoor, too. 546 00:30:16,409 --> 00:30:18,411 [Indian man] Oh, he was wonderful. 547 00:30:18,446 --> 00:30:21,948 If you ever saw me, you'd say that I look just like Shammi. 548 00:30:21,982 --> 00:30:24,485 Especially the way he looked in Mama Bhanja. 549 00:30:24,518 --> 00:30:26,353 So you're a private investigator? 550 00:30:26,386 --> 00:30:30,857 I was actually looking into hiring a private investigator. 551 00:30:30,890 --> 00:30:32,325 Yeah, I just want to see what I'm up to. 552 00:30:32,359 --> 00:30:35,430 I found that when I'm in Ardha Chandrasana, 553 00:30:35,464 --> 00:30:39,000 I channel more Shiva energy if I wrap my standing leg around my head. 554 00:30:39,033 --> 00:30:43,037 - Do you hear that? - [playing chords] 555 00:30:43,070 --> 00:30:46,040 I'm just saying that "stop, drop, and roll," 556 00:30:46,073 --> 00:30:47,975 you got to add another "stop" to that. 557 00:30:48,009 --> 00:30:50,378 There's no such thing as scented Wi-Fi. No, there's not. 558 00:30:50,411 --> 00:30:52,146 Yeah, hi, just one piece of pizza delivered. 559 00:30:52,179 --> 00:30:53,914 You guys just deliver pieces? 560 00:30:53,948 --> 00:30:56,951 Your total is $321. 561 00:30:56,984 --> 00:30:59,354 No. No. 562 00:30:59,388 --> 00:31:00,956 You. 563 00:31:00,989 --> 00:31:02,224 You Namaste. 564 00:31:03,992 --> 00:31:06,128 [snoring] 565 00:31:08,163 --> 00:31:10,132 [snoring continues] 566 00:31:10,165 --> 00:31:11,933 [phone ringing] 567 00:31:13,469 --> 00:31:14,936 What? 568 00:31:18,140 --> 00:31:20,008 Hello? 569 00:31:20,042 --> 00:31:22,546 You left your date in the middle of a club last night. 570 00:31:22,579 --> 00:31:25,582 - You humiliated him. - Yeah, uh... 571 00:31:25,616 --> 00:31:27,850 It wasn't really going well. 572 00:31:27,884 --> 00:31:30,320 Okay, so you say you've got to walk your dog 573 00:31:30,353 --> 00:31:32,623 or you have explosive diarrhea or something. 574 00:31:32,656 --> 00:31:34,957 You don't just leave like an animal. 575 00:31:34,991 --> 00:31:37,226 Plus, his mom? I was on the brink of signing her. 576 00:31:37,260 --> 00:31:40,129 And she has more number one bestsellers 577 00:31:40,163 --> 00:31:42,999 than all of my clients combined. That includes you. 578 00:31:43,032 --> 00:31:45,536 All you had to do was be normal, 579 00:31:45,569 --> 00:31:47,237 but you couldn't, could you? No. 580 00:31:47,271 --> 00:31:49,206 But once again, it was all about you 581 00:31:49,239 --> 00:31:51,543 with no thought of how it was going to affect me. 582 00:31:51,576 --> 00:31:54,579 I'm sorry, I was wearing a cat head at a rave. 583 00:31:54,612 --> 00:31:56,448 Be honest with me. 584 00:31:56,481 --> 00:31:59,149 - Are you on drugs? - Please, I wish I was on drugs. 585 00:31:59,183 --> 00:32:01,051 I'm too paranoid to be on drugs. 586 00:32:01,085 --> 00:32:02,620 No, look, I'm sorry, I just... 587 00:32:02,654 --> 00:32:06,491 I bumped into the most interesting person last night. 588 00:32:06,524 --> 00:32:09,661 [scoffs] Please don't tell me you found another lost soul to save. Rub them! 589 00:32:09,694 --> 00:32:12,665 I did not find another lost soul to save. 590 00:32:12,698 --> 00:32:15,133 It was that eccentric guy from the gallery. 591 00:32:15,166 --> 00:32:17,470 I think this guy can really inspire a good book. 592 00:32:17,503 --> 00:32:19,505 What? No. No. No book. 593 00:32:19,538 --> 00:32:22,441 Axi wants Chastity. That is what they paid for. 594 00:32:22,475 --> 00:32:25,176 I think I can make Chastity about identity 595 00:32:25,210 --> 00:32:28,079 and how we're all trying to be something we're not. 596 00:32:28,113 --> 00:32:30,616 - I'm already writing it. - It's a book to diddle to! 597 00:32:30,649 --> 00:32:33,351 What are you talking about? What? No, stop. 598 00:32:33,385 --> 00:32:36,021 Chastity is a book about a girl 599 00:32:36,055 --> 00:32:38,424 trying to track down her kidnapped dog 600 00:32:38,458 --> 00:32:40,494 and hopefully banging a bunch of hot dudes along the way. 601 00:32:40,527 --> 00:32:42,094 This isn't Tolstoy. 602 00:32:42,128 --> 00:32:43,530 What's this guy's name anyway? 603 00:32:43,563 --> 00:32:45,064 You know what? I don't know. 604 00:32:45,097 --> 00:32:49,001 Okay, so you're going to write a boring novel 605 00:32:49,034 --> 00:32:51,170 about a nameless guy you just met? Is that the plan? 606 00:32:51,203 --> 00:32:54,541 He's not one person. He's, like, many different people. 607 00:32:54,574 --> 00:32:56,610 He's a mystery, and I need to unravel him. 608 00:32:56,643 --> 00:32:59,514 Oh, honey, no. Sara, the streets of Seattle 609 00:32:59,547 --> 00:33:01,381 are littered with guys like this. 610 00:33:01,415 --> 00:33:03,518 You're mistaking crazy for interesting. 611 00:33:03,551 --> 00:33:05,553 No, he's not crazy. 612 00:33:05,586 --> 00:33:08,221 He's a complete original, like... 613 00:33:08,255 --> 00:33:10,991 one day, he's this pretentious, stuck-up art critic 614 00:33:11,024 --> 00:33:13,126 and on the next, he's a female singer. 615 00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:14,995 And then the day after that, he's like a rave DJ. 616 00:33:15,028 --> 00:33:16,564 Okay, so fully schizophrenic, 617 00:33:16,597 --> 00:33:18,533 'cause that's exactly what you just described. 618 00:33:18,566 --> 00:33:21,001 - Please tell me you're not sleeping with him. - No! 619 00:33:21,034 --> 00:33:23,171 I do feel happy around him, though, and inspired. 620 00:33:23,204 --> 00:33:24,673 Still, you should get tested anyway. 621 00:33:24,706 --> 00:33:26,675 This is not about dating, and it's not about me. 622 00:33:26,708 --> 00:33:28,710 It's about the book, I promise. 623 00:33:31,179 --> 00:33:34,215 And last night, the dam broke, 624 00:33:34,248 --> 00:33:35,584 and I couldn't stop writing. 625 00:33:35,617 --> 00:33:37,486 And it's the best stuff I've ever written. 626 00:33:37,519 --> 00:33:39,588 You know what? 627 00:33:39,621 --> 00:33:41,155 I am going to be late for my guitar lesson. 628 00:33:41,189 --> 00:33:43,024 - I got to go. - You're taking guitar lessons? 629 00:33:43,057 --> 00:33:45,393 Yeah, I got to fill up my creative gas tank. 630 00:33:45,426 --> 00:33:47,697 No, Sara, guitaring is not writing. 631 00:33:47,730 --> 00:33:50,299 Hello! Hello! Damn it! 632 00:33:51,501 --> 00:33:54,303 [sighs] It's like you're my only friend. 633 00:33:55,304 --> 00:33:57,306 ♪♪ 634 00:34:15,526 --> 00:34:17,695 [baby crying] 635 00:34:21,832 --> 00:34:24,400 Well, it's about time you came to visit. 636 00:34:25,503 --> 00:34:26,570 Well? 637 00:34:32,776 --> 00:34:35,379 That's not enough. That's not enough! 638 00:34:35,412 --> 00:34:38,082 After all we've done for you and those kids, 639 00:34:38,115 --> 00:34:39,751 this is all we get? 640 00:34:41,418 --> 00:34:43,755 Why don't you go back to your fancy apartment 641 00:34:43,788 --> 00:34:45,724 and get us some more money? 642 00:34:45,757 --> 00:34:48,493 - [man] Give me my half. - [woman] No, you're not getting half. 643 00:34:48,527 --> 00:34:51,362 - Give me the money! - You asshole! No! 644 00:34:51,395 --> 00:34:55,534 - You're just gonna drink it or you're gonna throw it away! - [little girl giggling] 645 00:34:55,567 --> 00:34:58,103 - The money! - All I know is, all his friends 646 00:34:58,136 --> 00:35:00,338 and everybody coming over here and... 647 00:35:00,372 --> 00:35:02,374 [argument becomes muffled] 648 00:35:10,348 --> 00:35:12,117 Excuse me. 649 00:35:12,150 --> 00:35:14,386 Oh, hey! You're from last night. 650 00:35:14,419 --> 00:35:15,655 What do you want with him? 651 00:35:15,688 --> 00:35:17,322 What do you mean, what do I want? 652 00:35:17,355 --> 00:35:19,592 I mean, why are you hanging with him? 653 00:35:19,625 --> 00:35:23,262 What? Who are you? I don't even know you. 654 00:35:23,296 --> 00:35:24,731 How the hell do you know where I live? 655 00:35:26,533 --> 00:35:28,401 - I followed you home last night. - Okay, wow. 656 00:35:28,434 --> 00:35:30,537 If you stalk me, I will call the cops. 657 00:35:30,571 --> 00:35:32,271 Jeez! 658 00:35:32,305 --> 00:35:35,609 - Just leave Godfrey alone. - Oh, that's his name? Godfrey? 659 00:35:35,642 --> 00:35:36,877 Yeah, Godfrey doesn't have no friends. 660 00:35:36,910 --> 00:35:38,512 Oh, yeah? Then who the hell are you? 661 00:35:38,545 --> 00:35:39,646 I'm his brother. 662 00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:41,548 Wait, you're his brother? 663 00:35:41,582 --> 00:35:43,817 Yeah, so I know everything that goes on in his life. 664 00:35:43,850 --> 00:35:46,454 Trust me, you ain't going to be a part of it. 665 00:35:46,487 --> 00:35:50,123 Oh. Well, are you his brother or his father? 666 00:35:50,157 --> 00:35:52,159 Because whoever he is, he's a grown-ass man. 667 00:35:52,192 --> 00:35:54,696 He doesn't have to answer to you. And neither do I. 668 00:35:55,863 --> 00:35:57,431 Yo, leave him alone! 669 00:35:57,465 --> 00:35:59,801 He doesn't need you screwing up his life! 670 00:36:03,905 --> 00:36:07,542 - [bell rings] - [children screaming] 671 00:36:07,575 --> 00:36:10,178 You're no good. The kids won't like you. 672 00:36:10,211 --> 00:36:12,380 Yes, they will, you stupid. 673 00:36:12,413 --> 00:36:14,850 You stay down, and you just be a stupid puppet. 674 00:36:14,883 --> 00:36:17,151 Okay. Sorry, Boss. 675 00:36:17,185 --> 00:36:20,456 Our favorite volunteer, Mr. G, is back with us today. 676 00:36:20,489 --> 00:36:22,357 - What? - [kids cheer] 677 00:36:22,390 --> 00:36:24,325 [teacher] Isn't that great? 678 00:36:24,359 --> 00:36:26,294 - [cheering continues] - [music playing] 679 00:36:26,327 --> 00:36:27,696 [goofy voice] Hello, kids! 680 00:36:27,730 --> 00:36:30,298 I think it's time for me to get a haircut. 681 00:36:30,331 --> 00:36:31,867 [kids giggle] 682 00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:33,802 [different voice] Oh, did I hear a haircut? 683 00:36:37,741 --> 00:36:42,277 I'm a magician. I can do it without scissors. 684 00:36:42,311 --> 00:36:45,347 Okay, now watch carefully. 685 00:36:45,381 --> 00:36:48,752 Abracadabra. Alakazam! 686 00:36:48,785 --> 00:36:50,587 [laughing] 687 00:36:50,620 --> 00:36:52,622 What do you think of your new look? 688 00:36:52,656 --> 00:36:53,923 [growly laugh] 689 00:36:53,957 --> 00:36:56,191 Give me my hair back or I will eat you! 690 00:36:56,225 --> 00:36:57,560 [growling] 691 00:36:57,594 --> 00:36:59,897 Okay, okay, don't eat me, Lion. 692 00:36:59,930 --> 00:37:02,933 Okay, children, do you remember the magic words? 693 00:37:02,967 --> 00:37:05,368 Abracadabra! Alakazam! 694 00:37:05,402 --> 00:37:08,438 Ooh, I can't see my hat. I cannot see the top of my head! 695 00:37:08,472 --> 00:37:09,874 [cheers and applause] 696 00:37:11,909 --> 00:37:14,210 Thank you. Thank you. 697 00:37:17,448 --> 00:37:19,450 ♪♪ 698 00:37:22,921 --> 00:37:24,623 [Simon] Sara? 699 00:37:24,656 --> 00:37:27,492 Oh, my God. Nope, nope, nope, nope. 700 00:37:27,526 --> 00:37:30,428 - No, no, nope. - Sara? 701 00:37:30,462 --> 00:37:31,997 - Simon! - [light chuckle] 702 00:37:32,030 --> 00:37:33,699 Hi! 703 00:37:33,732 --> 00:37:35,767 Is that your bike? 704 00:37:35,801 --> 00:37:37,769 This bike? 705 00:37:37,803 --> 00:37:38,870 No. 706 00:37:40,271 --> 00:37:42,908 No. No. Uh-uh. 707 00:37:44,476 --> 00:37:46,646 - Come here, bring it in. - Okay! 708 00:37:46,679 --> 00:37:48,548 Hi. Oh, we're hugging. 709 00:37:48,581 --> 00:37:51,249 - Oh, okay. - Yep. Good to see you. 710 00:37:51,283 --> 00:37:53,553 - How are you? - Good. Good. 711 00:37:53,586 --> 00:37:56,823 God, it's been a minute. What are you doing? 712 00:37:56,856 --> 00:37:59,892 I am taking guitar lessons. 713 00:37:59,926 --> 00:38:01,359 See? I have a guitar. 714 00:38:02,628 --> 00:38:04,329 Hey. Your hair, it's longer. 715 00:38:04,362 --> 00:38:08,366 It is! Thank you for noticing. It grew, so... 716 00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:10,303 - Every day, it grows. - Yeah. 717 00:38:10,336 --> 00:38:13,040 And, yeah. How are the suburbs? 718 00:38:13,073 --> 00:38:14,708 Not as bad as you think. 719 00:38:14,742 --> 00:38:16,944 There's actually some cool people in the boonies. 720 00:38:16,977 --> 00:38:19,046 Oh, great! I'm sure. 721 00:38:19,079 --> 00:38:20,914 That's so wonderful. 722 00:38:20,948 --> 00:38:23,484 - Nice Dockers, by the way. - Oh, how dare you? 723 00:38:23,517 --> 00:38:25,519 These are Banana Republic. 724 00:38:25,552 --> 00:38:26,887 [laughing] 725 00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:28,989 This is my wife, Allegra. 726 00:38:29,022 --> 00:38:33,060 - [gasps] Allegra! Hi! - Hi! 727 00:38:33,093 --> 00:38:37,331 - Look at that! Congratulations to you. - Oh, thank you. 728 00:38:37,364 --> 00:38:38,833 Yeah, okay. I'm just going to say it. 729 00:38:38,867 --> 00:38:40,434 Simon told me all about you 730 00:38:40,468 --> 00:38:43,004 - and I loved your book. - Oh! 731 00:38:43,037 --> 00:38:44,939 - Sext. - What? 732 00:38:44,973 --> 00:38:47,407 Yeah, I mean, I know I'm not exactly the target audience, 733 00:38:47,441 --> 00:38:49,409 but there are some serious feminist undertones in there 734 00:38:49,443 --> 00:38:52,013 and it reminded me of, like, Louisa May Alcott. 735 00:38:53,681 --> 00:38:54,649 Thank you. 736 00:38:55,817 --> 00:38:59,622 Oh, that is so nice. Thank you. 737 00:38:59,655 --> 00:39:01,957 - Well, Allegra's a writer too. - What? 738 00:39:01,991 --> 00:39:03,859 Oh, my God, but nowhere near as good as what you do. 739 00:39:03,893 --> 00:39:06,061 I mean, I just write biographies. 740 00:39:06,095 --> 00:39:08,731 - I don't invent things. - Yeah, but you were just nominated for a PEN. 741 00:39:08,764 --> 00:39:09,899 Well, I'm not going to win, so we don't have to talk about that. 742 00:39:09,932 --> 00:39:11,066 - PEN?! - Don't say that. 743 00:39:11,100 --> 00:39:12,668 Everyone's freaking out for it! 744 00:39:12,701 --> 00:39:15,704 Look, she just wrote Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's bio. 745 00:39:15,738 --> 00:39:16,839 - What?! - Amazing. 746 00:39:16,872 --> 00:39:18,073 - Guilty! - [Simon chuckles] 747 00:39:19,909 --> 00:39:22,344 Guilty? 748 00:39:22,378 --> 00:39:23,914 - Hmm. - Are you okay? 749 00:39:25,549 --> 00:39:26,650 Yeah. 750 00:39:27,984 --> 00:39:29,418 So when are you due? 751 00:39:29,452 --> 00:39:31,555 Two weeks to go. 752 00:39:31,588 --> 00:39:32,923 I don't know how I could get any bigger. 753 00:39:32,956 --> 00:39:34,925 - You're huge, by the way. - I know! 754 00:39:34,958 --> 00:39:36,092 I'm like a beluga! 755 00:39:36,126 --> 00:39:37,828 [forced laughter] 756 00:39:37,861 --> 00:39:40,396 Yeah, but I mean, Simon's been so attentive. 757 00:39:40,429 --> 00:39:43,633 Aw, look at that! 758 00:39:43,667 --> 00:39:47,404 That's so great. Really, that's so amazing. 759 00:39:47,437 --> 00:39:51,441 I didn't know you wanted kids! So, that's news. 760 00:39:51,475 --> 00:39:53,010 Whatever happened to... 761 00:39:53,044 --> 00:39:56,047 "I can't in good conscience bring a child into this world?" 762 00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:57,481 - [coughing] - What happened to that guy? 763 00:39:57,515 --> 00:39:59,951 - Water. - Where is he? 764 00:39:59,984 --> 00:40:02,553 Oh, I mean, it just happened so fast. 765 00:40:02,587 --> 00:40:04,622 I mean, we were dating for like, what, four months? 766 00:40:04,655 --> 00:40:06,090 - Five? - That's fast! 767 00:40:06,123 --> 00:40:08,425 I think it was four months, then we got married. 768 00:40:08,459 --> 00:40:09,728 - Wow! - [nervous laughter] 769 00:40:09,761 --> 00:40:11,830 And then, I mean, this just happened. 770 00:40:11,864 --> 00:40:13,832 And, I mean, I don't even know this guy. [fake yell] 771 00:40:13,866 --> 00:40:16,668 Me either! [fake yell] 772 00:40:16,702 --> 00:40:19,738 - Uh, honey, we don't want to be late. - Oh! No, we don't. 773 00:40:19,771 --> 00:40:23,475 - We're taking maternity photos. - Okay. 774 00:40:23,508 --> 00:40:25,644 Well, it was really great seeing you. 775 00:40:25,677 --> 00:40:27,512 Okay. Yeah, really good to see you. 776 00:40:27,546 --> 00:40:29,447 - Yeah, great meeting you. - To meet you. 777 00:40:29,481 --> 00:40:31,149 See you, and thank you. 778 00:40:31,183 --> 00:40:32,818 - Okay. Yep. Yep, yep. - All right. Okay. 779 00:40:32,851 --> 00:40:35,021 - Okay, bye. I love her. - Okay. 780 00:40:35,054 --> 00:40:36,956 - I do want kids. - Oh. We'll talk about it in the car. 781 00:40:36,990 --> 00:40:38,691 - Okay, but I... - [phone ringing] 782 00:40:38,725 --> 00:40:40,026 - We'll talk about it in the car. - Okay. 783 00:40:40,059 --> 00:40:43,463 - Speak. - [man] Hello, is this Sara? 784 00:40:43,496 --> 00:40:47,033 - [sighs] Who is this? - It is Mateo. 785 00:40:47,066 --> 00:40:50,536 My good friend DJ Katamine suggested I call you. 786 00:40:50,570 --> 00:40:54,674 Oh! DJ Katamine. Right. 787 00:40:54,707 --> 00:40:59,079 Hi, Mateo. Buenas noches. 788 00:40:59,113 --> 00:41:03,083 - ¿Cómo está? - No, I don't actually speak Spanish. 789 00:41:03,117 --> 00:41:05,753 So, it was suggested by my friend 790 00:41:05,786 --> 00:41:08,889 that you might want to try some ballroom dancing. 791 00:41:08,923 --> 00:41:13,560 Really? Well, uh, did your friend happen to mention 792 00:41:13,594 --> 00:41:17,531 that I haven't ballroom-danced in, I don't know, 793 00:41:17,564 --> 00:41:20,100 - like, never? - It's okay. 794 00:41:20,134 --> 00:41:23,104 He told me you have the body of a dancer 795 00:41:23,138 --> 00:41:25,040 and the finesse of a mongoose. 796 00:41:25,073 --> 00:41:28,743 Oh, well, that's very... flattering? 797 00:41:28,777 --> 00:41:31,579 Then I will pick you up tonight at sbet w thlathwn. 798 00:41:31,613 --> 00:41:34,716 - What? - That's Arabic for 7:30. 799 00:41:34,749 --> 00:41:38,753 Oh, right. Mateo, I will see you then. 800 00:41:38,787 --> 00:41:40,055 Oh, wait. You don't actually know 801 00:41:40,088 --> 00:41:43,224 - where I... live. - [call disconnects] 802 00:41:44,759 --> 00:41:46,762 [birds chirping] 803 00:41:49,999 --> 00:41:52,268 [breathes deeply, clears throat] 804 00:41:52,301 --> 00:41:55,504 ["Mi Amor Eterno" by Michael Tate playing] 805 00:42:06,015 --> 00:42:09,018 [song continues playing] 806 00:42:38,649 --> 00:42:41,152 ["Waltz no. 2 from Suite No. 2" by Dmitri Shostakovich playing] 807 00:42:50,361 --> 00:42:55,033 Mateo, I don't have any experience with this kind of dancing. 808 00:42:55,066 --> 00:42:57,803 I don't think anyone has in, like, 60 years. 809 00:42:57,836 --> 00:42:59,738 Follow me 810 00:42:59,772 --> 00:43:01,340 and I will lead you to the path of beauty. 811 00:43:01,373 --> 00:43:02,875 Oh, okay. [giggles] 812 00:43:02,908 --> 00:43:04,576 How'd you learn to dance like this? 813 00:43:04,610 --> 00:43:06,712 - It is in my blood. - Right. 814 00:43:06,745 --> 00:43:09,048 And where exactly are you from? 815 00:43:09,081 --> 00:43:11,150 [fake accent] The entire planet is my home. 816 00:43:11,183 --> 00:43:15,120 I was a young boy, I was a goat herder in Argentina, 817 00:43:15,154 --> 00:43:18,624 and I dream of dancing the waltz after I saw The Sound of Music. 818 00:43:20,092 --> 00:43:23,329 - I love that movie. - Me too. 819 00:43:23,363 --> 00:43:27,867 And so I searched the country for Maria, and I can't find her. 820 00:43:27,901 --> 00:43:30,870 And so I ended up dancing with my goat, Sofia. 821 00:43:30,904 --> 00:43:32,072 - Okay. - Yeah. 822 00:43:32,105 --> 00:43:33,373 So you learned to dance with your goat. 823 00:43:33,406 --> 00:43:35,208 That sounds normal, right? 824 00:43:35,241 --> 00:43:36,242 Very popular. 825 00:43:37,710 --> 00:43:39,145 - Wunderbar! - What is that, German? 826 00:43:39,179 --> 00:43:40,280 Sí. Oui, oui. 827 00:43:45,418 --> 00:43:47,254 - Follow me. - Okay. 828 00:43:49,423 --> 00:43:51,625 ♪♪ 829 00:44:19,354 --> 00:44:21,156 Ooh! Okay... 830 00:44:43,179 --> 00:44:45,181 ♪♪ 831 00:45:10,174 --> 00:45:12,776 - Magnifique. - Thanks. 832 00:45:20,784 --> 00:45:21,719 [Sara] Hey. 833 00:45:25,190 --> 00:45:26,991 So last night wasn't a dream. 834 00:45:30,195 --> 00:45:31,896 You are welcome. 835 00:45:33,831 --> 00:45:36,301 I just realized I haven't had a guy in my apartment 836 00:45:36,334 --> 00:45:38,470 in, like, a year. 837 00:45:38,504 --> 00:45:41,406 So thank you for being such a gentleman. 838 00:45:42,407 --> 00:45:45,778 It is who I am. 839 00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:50,916 You know, yesterday I ran into my ex, 840 00:45:50,950 --> 00:45:55,221 and he was with his wife. And she was pregnant. 841 00:45:58,424 --> 00:46:01,126 I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm telling you this. 842 00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:03,395 Oh, no! Uh, well... 843 00:46:03,429 --> 00:46:05,364 I guess it just kind of upset me, 844 00:46:05,397 --> 00:46:10,036 because it made me sad that he's not living his truth. 845 00:46:10,070 --> 00:46:13,840 - But there's nothing I can do about that. - [stammers] Sí. 846 00:46:13,873 --> 00:46:15,509 I'm so glad you called, 847 00:46:15,543 --> 00:46:17,844 because I feel like our night together 848 00:46:17,877 --> 00:46:19,813 reminded me of who I really am. 849 00:46:24,818 --> 00:46:25,986 [sniffs, laughs] 850 00:46:26,019 --> 00:46:28,922 I'm sorry. Blah, blah, blah. 851 00:46:30,323 --> 00:46:32,325 Why don't you tell me something about you? 852 00:46:34,195 --> 00:46:36,565 Well... 853 00:46:36,598 --> 00:46:39,200 I am but a poor, young goat herder... 854 00:46:39,233 --> 00:46:41,902 - From Argentina. Yeah, I know. - Argentina. 855 00:46:41,936 --> 00:46:44,238 But see, I just spilled my guts, 856 00:46:44,272 --> 00:46:47,975 so maybe you can tell me something honest, something true. 857 00:46:48,009 --> 00:46:49,810 Okay. Well... 858 00:46:51,078 --> 00:46:57,553 I come to the US... I'm a stowaway. 859 00:46:57,587 --> 00:46:59,988 Wait, is this a real story? 860 00:47:00,022 --> 00:47:02,090 'Cause I know you're not really from Argentina. 861 00:47:02,124 --> 00:47:04,026 [stammers] I am! 862 00:47:04,059 --> 00:47:07,095 'Cause I just assumed last night we were messing around, 863 00:47:07,129 --> 00:47:09,599 so what's... What's your deal? 864 00:47:09,632 --> 00:47:13,569 I first move here to Miami, I have no job. 865 00:47:13,603 --> 00:47:16,405 And so I start as a dishwasher, 866 00:47:16,438 --> 00:47:18,574 and I do some things I am not proud of. 867 00:47:18,608 --> 00:47:21,944 - I'm not judging, so... - Okay, so my friend, Manny, 868 00:47:21,978 --> 00:47:25,048 he tells me about a job we can do for money, you know? 869 00:47:25,081 --> 00:47:29,419 We sell ze yayo. Ze cocaine. 870 00:47:29,452 --> 00:47:31,622 And we get a job. 871 00:47:31,655 --> 00:47:33,890 We go down to South Beach, we have a kilo, 872 00:47:33,923 --> 00:47:36,259 and this man and wife, they take the kilo, 873 00:47:36,292 --> 00:47:38,495 they don't give us money, and they take Manny. 874 00:47:38,529 --> 00:47:41,130 And they beat him. And they put him in the shower, 875 00:47:41,164 --> 00:47:43,366 and they chain him up and they get a chainsaw. 876 00:47:43,399 --> 00:47:45,001 [imitates chainsaw revving] 877 00:47:45,034 --> 00:47:47,539 And they're going to kill him. And I say, "No!" 878 00:47:47,572 --> 00:47:50,508 Wait. Are you fucking with me? What is this? 879 00:47:50,542 --> 00:47:52,409 No, I'm not fucking. 880 00:47:52,443 --> 00:47:54,612 That's the plot of Scarface, dude. 881 00:47:54,646 --> 00:47:58,583 I have... never seen such movies. 882 00:47:58,616 --> 00:48:02,319 No. No. Seriously? 883 00:48:03,688 --> 00:48:06,390 What is this? What's happening right now? 884 00:48:06,423 --> 00:48:10,428 - Are you pranking me? - No! I am telling you a story. 885 00:48:10,462 --> 00:48:13,198 No, you're not. You're not telling a story. 886 00:48:13,231 --> 00:48:17,335 You're making a joke about everything, and I'm believing you. 887 00:48:17,369 --> 00:48:19,672 God, I don't know what this is. 888 00:48:19,705 --> 00:48:21,674 I don't know what happened last night. 889 00:48:21,707 --> 00:48:23,542 Maybe it's because I actually like you. 890 00:48:23,576 --> 00:48:27,546 Maybe it's because I saw my ex, but either way, 891 00:48:27,580 --> 00:48:29,515 I spent the night with you, okay? 892 00:48:29,548 --> 00:48:34,688 And I'm-I'm dressed, but I feel completely naked right now. 893 00:48:34,721 --> 00:48:36,922 I need to know who I'm with. 894 00:48:42,629 --> 00:48:44,631 ♪♪ 895 00:48:45,665 --> 00:48:47,534 Nothing? 896 00:48:53,472 --> 00:48:57,009 Okay, so now I have to ask you to leave. 897 00:49:01,682 --> 00:49:03,551 I want you to leave. 898 00:49:10,691 --> 00:49:13,026 You have to go! Now! 899 00:49:17,130 --> 00:49:19,132 ♪♪ 900 00:49:46,462 --> 00:49:48,263 Who are you? 901 00:49:54,470 --> 00:49:55,471 Nobody. 902 00:49:56,506 --> 00:49:58,508 ♪♪ 903 00:50:07,750 --> 00:50:10,721 [Kelly] So I'm downstairs, and I hear this noise. 904 00:50:10,754 --> 00:50:14,457 I push open the bathroom door, and there's Dan, 905 00:50:14,492 --> 00:50:17,628 - and he is standing there wiping off makeup. - Right. 906 00:50:17,661 --> 00:50:19,797 Makeup! It was my makeup! 907 00:50:19,830 --> 00:50:22,131 And I get it, it's modern times right now, 908 00:50:22,165 --> 00:50:24,535 and we're all supposed to be, like, gender fluid or whatever. 909 00:50:24,568 --> 00:50:26,670 But you would think, after eight years of marriage, 910 00:50:26,704 --> 00:50:28,539 my husband would tell me if he was thinking 911 00:50:28,572 --> 00:50:32,342 - about crossdressing or whatever. - Maybe. 912 00:50:32,375 --> 00:50:35,346 Yeah. I guess it doesn't matter. 913 00:50:35,379 --> 00:50:37,147 It would have been nice if you listened to my story 914 00:50:37,181 --> 00:50:40,284 about my husband using all of my foundation. 915 00:50:40,317 --> 00:50:43,354 - I slept with him. - Who, Dan? 916 00:50:43,387 --> 00:50:47,826 - No, with the guy. - Nutty? You slept with Nutty? 917 00:50:47,859 --> 00:50:50,562 - I slept with him. - Oh, God! 918 00:50:50,595 --> 00:50:54,331 I didn't sleep with him. We just cuddled all night, but... 919 00:50:54,365 --> 00:50:56,367 And don't call him Nutty. His name's Godfrey, 920 00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:58,671 or Mateo, or, like, whatever. 921 00:50:58,704 --> 00:51:00,472 - His name is Godfrey? - Yeah. 922 00:51:00,506 --> 00:51:02,107 Some parent named their kid Godfrey, 923 00:51:02,140 --> 00:51:04,242 and then you slept with that guy. 924 00:51:04,276 --> 00:51:07,245 - You slept with a Godfrey. - I was feeling vulnerable. 925 00:51:07,279 --> 00:51:09,247 And he was charming. He was very charming. 926 00:51:09,281 --> 00:51:11,484 He took us out dancing! We danced! 927 00:51:11,517 --> 00:51:13,853 Like, we really danced. And then next thing you know, 928 00:51:13,886 --> 00:51:16,656 - we're just, like, spooning in my bed. - Is that fun? 929 00:51:16,689 --> 00:51:19,625 It might have something to do with the fact that I bumped into Simon earlier. 930 00:51:19,659 --> 00:51:21,562 What? Oh, dear! 931 00:51:21,595 --> 00:51:23,329 He's married. 932 00:51:23,362 --> 00:51:27,166 And his PEN Award-nominated wife is pregnant. 933 00:51:27,199 --> 00:51:30,136 Ugh, shit! I hate it when men upgrade. No offense. 934 00:51:30,169 --> 00:51:31,505 Do you think she needs an agent? 935 00:51:31,538 --> 00:51:33,507 I'm kidding! I'm kidding. 936 00:51:33,540 --> 00:51:37,711 Come here. Look, it's okay. I'm here. 937 00:51:37,744 --> 00:51:39,211 Did you get any good material from this? 938 00:51:39,245 --> 00:51:40,614 - Are you serious? - I'm just... 939 00:51:40,647 --> 00:51:43,316 Hey! Hey, you! Yeah, you! 940 00:51:43,349 --> 00:51:44,685 - You're the crazy lady. - Yeah, you know what? 941 00:51:44,718 --> 00:51:47,789 I am crazed. Fucking crazed for some Fromage Madeleine, 942 00:51:47,822 --> 00:51:50,457 which you don't have for the third week in a row, by the way. 943 00:51:50,491 --> 00:51:52,192 Who do I have to blow 944 00:51:52,225 --> 00:51:54,629 to get some decent cheese around here? Is it you? 945 00:51:54,662 --> 00:51:56,330 Is that what you want? You want me to embarrass you 946 00:51:56,363 --> 00:51:57,599 in front of all your clerk friends? 947 00:51:57,632 --> 00:51:59,500 No. I will go check with my manager. 948 00:51:59,534 --> 00:52:02,670 Yeah. Do that, because this threat extends to him, too! 949 00:52:02,704 --> 00:52:04,772 - It's fine. - I'm just... 950 00:52:04,806 --> 00:52:06,373 I'm so confused. Like, 951 00:52:06,406 --> 00:52:08,275 who have I been hanging out with this whole time? 952 00:52:08,308 --> 00:52:12,246 - Why is he doing this? - Um, he's crazy, so just stay away. 953 00:52:12,280 --> 00:52:15,350 He's not crazy. He's choosing his personalities. 954 00:52:15,383 --> 00:52:17,285 Trust me. I did some Googling. 955 00:52:17,318 --> 00:52:19,588 Oh, boy. Um... Ahem, Sara? 956 00:52:19,622 --> 00:52:20,756 - What? - Ahem. 957 00:52:20,789 --> 00:52:23,626 - I was wrong. Okay? - Whoa. 958 00:52:23,659 --> 00:52:27,696 I was wrong, I said it, to ask you to come out of your shell. 959 00:52:27,730 --> 00:52:31,800 All right? So just stuff yourself back in there and finish your book, 960 00:52:31,834 --> 00:52:33,803 because so far, the material is pretty good 961 00:52:33,837 --> 00:52:37,641 and all you need is some distance and objectivity, right? 962 00:52:37,674 --> 00:52:39,743 - Do not shit where you eat. - Okay. 963 00:52:39,776 --> 00:52:42,846 You don't think I have plenty of clients that I would love to bang, 964 00:52:42,879 --> 00:52:44,346 but I don't, and you know why? 965 00:52:44,380 --> 00:52:46,783 - Uh-uh. - Commission. 966 00:52:46,816 --> 00:52:48,618 - You thought I was going to say morals. - I did. 967 00:52:48,652 --> 00:52:50,787 It's commission. 968 00:52:52,354 --> 00:52:54,390 [teacher] Class, guess who's back? 969 00:52:54,423 --> 00:52:57,460 It's our volunteer, Mr. G! 970 00:52:57,495 --> 00:52:59,530 Yay! 971 00:52:59,563 --> 00:53:01,398 Whoa! 972 00:53:01,431 --> 00:53:04,200 You guys look so much older. 973 00:53:04,234 --> 00:53:06,436 - How are you? - [kids] Good. 974 00:53:06,469 --> 00:53:08,939 Are you good? Good. 975 00:53:08,973 --> 00:53:11,609 - You guys want to read a book? - Yeah! 976 00:53:11,642 --> 00:53:13,410 - Yeah? - You will read the book. 977 00:53:13,443 --> 00:53:15,546 You know what? I'll read a book for you. 978 00:53:15,579 --> 00:53:17,815 How to Be a Friend. That sounds like a good book, doesn't it? 979 00:53:17,848 --> 00:53:20,685 - Yeah! - Yeah. 980 00:53:20,718 --> 00:53:24,355 "There are times when it feels good to be by yourself 981 00:53:24,388 --> 00:53:26,692 and enjoying your own company. 982 00:53:26,725 --> 00:53:32,396 But there are also times when you may feel lonely or bored, 983 00:53:32,430 --> 00:53:34,733 when you want to have someone to play with... 984 00:53:40,404 --> 00:53:42,674 Anyone who is nice to you 985 00:53:42,708 --> 00:53:45,645 and who likes to play with you 986 00:53:45,678 --> 00:53:47,479 can become your friend." 987 00:53:49,281 --> 00:53:51,283 ♪♪ 988 00:53:52,852 --> 00:53:54,821 "The best thing about having a friend 989 00:53:54,854 --> 00:53:58,223 is... sharing." 990 00:54:05,765 --> 00:54:08,034 Do you need to go to the potty, Mr. G? 991 00:54:08,067 --> 00:54:10,269 [kids laughing] 992 00:54:12,005 --> 00:54:15,341 I'm fine. I'm fine. Thank you. Um... 993 00:54:15,374 --> 00:54:17,745 "We want somebody to share with. 994 00:54:17,778 --> 00:54:19,780 Mr. Frog wants to share." 995 00:54:19,813 --> 00:54:21,447 Who wants to share with Mr. Frog? 996 00:54:21,481 --> 00:54:24,585 ♪ Broke my heart, woe my soul ♪ 997 00:54:24,618 --> 00:54:26,854 ♪ You got a lover's rock and roll ♪ 998 00:54:26,887 --> 00:54:29,790 ♪ The next day, a man, he lived next door ♪ 999 00:54:29,823 --> 00:54:32,793 ♪ He kept me up all night, made trouble, boy... ♪ 1000 00:54:35,429 --> 00:54:36,831 - Hey, what up? - [yelps] 1001 00:54:36,865 --> 00:54:38,700 What, are you stalking me again? 1002 00:54:38,733 --> 00:54:40,935 Hell, no. This is my office. 1003 00:54:40,969 --> 00:54:43,538 - Your office? - Yeah. 1004 00:54:46,373 --> 00:54:49,778 What is that, weed? I thought weed was legal. 1005 00:54:49,811 --> 00:54:52,747 People still like the drama of buying it on the street. 1006 00:54:53,915 --> 00:54:56,383 Okay, what do you want? 1007 00:54:56,416 --> 00:54:59,387 - He's sorry. - Oh, you talked to him. 1008 00:54:59,420 --> 00:55:02,725 Look, I don't know what he did, but he feels bad about it. 1009 00:55:05,961 --> 00:55:07,897 All right, sit down. Let's talk. 1010 00:55:12,400 --> 00:55:15,571 Here. Take that. You can have it. 1011 00:55:18,641 --> 00:55:21,545 - What the hell is this? - It's tofu. 1012 00:55:21,578 --> 00:55:24,480 - Tofu? I thought it was turkey. - Yeah. 1013 00:55:24,514 --> 00:55:26,415 You don't just hand someone a tofu sandwich 1014 00:55:26,448 --> 00:55:28,718 and not say anything. What's wrong with you? 1015 00:55:28,752 --> 00:55:31,054 I'm sorry, man. Jeez. 1016 00:55:31,087 --> 00:55:32,488 [Dash groans] 1017 00:55:33,757 --> 00:55:36,793 So what's up with your brother? 1018 00:55:36,827 --> 00:55:39,529 - It's complicated. - Yeah, no shit. 1019 00:55:39,563 --> 00:55:42,098 I mean, is he ever himself? 1020 00:55:42,132 --> 00:55:44,802 Have I actually even met the guy? 1021 00:55:44,836 --> 00:55:46,737 Yeah, but... 1022 00:55:46,771 --> 00:55:49,740 it's all versions of him. You know what I mean? 1023 00:55:49,774 --> 00:55:51,142 No, I don't. 1024 00:55:51,175 --> 00:55:53,744 Well, all the "hims," they're still him, 1025 00:55:53,778 --> 00:55:56,881 but he doesn't want to be completely himself. 1026 00:55:59,150 --> 00:56:00,483 You don't want to know. 1027 00:56:01,719 --> 00:56:03,788 I do want to know. 1028 00:56:03,821 --> 00:56:05,422 I care about your brother. 1029 00:56:07,525 --> 00:56:09,628 I know I don't know him, clearly, 1030 00:56:09,661 --> 00:56:11,930 but... I feel like... 1031 00:56:13,732 --> 00:56:17,903 inside, there's a special, sweet person. 1032 00:56:22,875 --> 00:56:24,543 Man, the only reason I'm telling you this 1033 00:56:24,576 --> 00:56:26,778 is because Godfrey likes you, okay? 1034 00:56:26,812 --> 00:56:28,847 Because you need to understand where he's coming from. 1035 00:56:31,650 --> 00:56:33,418 Godfrey's parents were worthless. 1036 00:56:34,921 --> 00:56:37,957 Okay? They took in foster kids to make money. 1037 00:56:37,991 --> 00:56:40,660 When we were growing up, Godfrey was more than a brother 1038 00:56:40,693 --> 00:56:43,096 to me and my sister, Didi. 1039 00:56:43,129 --> 00:56:45,531 He was like our dad. 1040 00:56:45,565 --> 00:56:47,033 He took care of us. 1041 00:56:47,066 --> 00:56:50,103 Cooked, cleaned, made us go to school. 1042 00:56:51,237 --> 00:56:52,639 My sister... 1043 00:56:54,107 --> 00:56:57,044 she wasn't but five years old at the time, 1044 00:56:57,077 --> 00:56:59,713 and one day while Godfrey was getting me ready for school, 1045 00:56:59,747 --> 00:57:02,583 Di was playing by the window in the living room. 1046 00:57:02,616 --> 00:57:05,219 And my fosters was in there, but they was drunk, 1047 00:57:05,252 --> 00:57:07,688 passed out or some shit. 1048 00:57:10,090 --> 00:57:11,592 Next thing you know... 1049 00:57:13,227 --> 00:57:14,561 she fell out. 1050 00:57:16,697 --> 00:57:18,899 And we ran downstairs, and, um... 1051 00:57:18,933 --> 00:57:21,102 Godfrey took her in his arms, but... 1052 00:57:22,637 --> 00:57:23,939 she was gone. 1053 00:57:26,808 --> 00:57:28,475 Oh, my God. 1054 00:57:29,811 --> 00:57:32,747 My fosters blamed it all on Godfrey. 1055 00:57:32,781 --> 00:57:36,584 - Oh, come on! That's not fair. - It doesn't matter. 1056 00:57:36,618 --> 00:57:39,120 Since then, he's just been blocking out the world. 1057 00:57:39,154 --> 00:57:41,022 That's why he does them characters. 1058 00:57:41,056 --> 00:57:43,792 He don't like being himself 'cause of the guilt. 1059 00:57:43,825 --> 00:57:46,963 I haven't really seen the real Godfrey since she died. 1060 00:57:49,799 --> 00:57:52,635 I'm so sorry. 1061 00:57:52,668 --> 00:57:54,469 Is he getting any help? 1062 00:57:55,671 --> 00:57:57,506 He's working and making a living 1063 00:57:57,540 --> 00:58:00,910 and functioning, so that's all I care about. 1064 00:58:03,012 --> 00:58:05,047 What can I do? 1065 00:58:05,081 --> 00:58:07,817 Well, best thing you could've done was leave him be, 1066 00:58:07,850 --> 00:58:10,153 but now that you messed that up, just... 1067 00:58:10,187 --> 00:58:12,656 I don't know, be a good friend to him. 1068 00:58:13,991 --> 00:58:15,559 I mean, I would like to, 1069 00:58:15,592 --> 00:58:17,828 but I can't even get ahold of him. 1070 00:58:24,634 --> 00:58:27,270 He's going to be at this tonight. 1071 00:58:27,304 --> 00:58:30,841 What is this? Like stand-up comedy? 1072 00:58:30,874 --> 00:58:33,177 No clue. He's always doing something 1073 00:58:33,211 --> 00:58:34,912 to keep his mind focused on anything but himself. 1074 00:58:34,946 --> 00:58:36,247 Does he even enjoy it? 1075 00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:38,249 He kind of relaxes around kids. 1076 00:58:38,282 --> 00:58:41,686 That's the only time he feels really calm. 1077 00:58:41,719 --> 00:58:44,022 - Where are you going? - I've got to pick up a new mixer. 1078 00:58:44,055 --> 00:58:46,124 I'm just short on a little paper right now. 1079 00:58:46,157 --> 00:58:48,226 Oh. Well, do you want some money? 1080 00:58:48,259 --> 00:58:51,095 - I have some. - Hey, don't try buying me off. 1081 00:58:51,129 --> 00:58:52,830 You just be you. 1082 00:58:52,864 --> 00:58:54,899 ♪♪ 1083 00:58:54,932 --> 00:58:57,536 Just be me. Okay. 1084 00:59:04,176 --> 00:59:06,278 [female poet] I am ready on my own. 1085 00:59:06,311 --> 00:59:08,714 As the Earth readies my surroundings, 1086 00:59:08,747 --> 00:59:14,053 I sit deep in silence as I meditate on my opulence. 1087 00:59:14,086 --> 00:59:16,655 - Thank you. - [cheering and whooping] 1088 00:59:16,688 --> 00:59:19,191 [MC] Give it up once again there for Lesa Koitsioe. 1089 00:59:19,224 --> 00:59:21,361 Coming up next, we have a guy 1090 00:59:21,394 --> 00:59:23,696 that says he's going to do something. 1091 00:59:23,730 --> 00:59:25,965 Please welcome to the stage, for the very first time, 1092 00:59:25,999 --> 00:59:27,801 - Tim Dimmitt. - [applause] 1093 00:59:33,239 --> 00:59:34,340 Thanks. 1094 00:59:40,246 --> 00:59:42,148 I wrote... um... 1095 00:59:43,383 --> 00:59:44,985 I wrote something. 1096 00:59:53,260 --> 00:59:55,062 She. 1097 00:59:56,330 --> 00:59:58,332 [soft piano playing throughout] 1098 01:00:01,869 --> 01:00:06,207 "She... she flutters through the house, 1099 01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:08,375 a splash of sunshine, 1100 01:00:08,409 --> 01:00:10,745 sprinkling her magic in the air with laughter. 1101 01:00:12,080 --> 01:00:14,783 Each syllable of sound echoes in my soul. 1102 01:00:16,284 --> 01:00:19,387 But as I walk in a space of a world left behind, 1103 01:00:19,421 --> 01:00:21,790 I see the ghost of her 1104 01:00:21,823 --> 01:00:24,993 and I search and search, but all in vain. 1105 01:00:28,830 --> 01:00:29,998 And I hear... 1106 01:00:31,299 --> 01:00:33,636 an echo of nothing. 1107 01:00:39,208 --> 01:00:40,776 [exhales sharply] 1108 01:00:40,810 --> 01:00:43,146 So upon these streets, I wa..." 1109 01:00:43,179 --> 01:00:44,413 I'm sorry. 1110 01:00:46,816 --> 01:00:49,352 "So upon these streets, I walk alone. 1111 01:00:51,787 --> 01:00:54,257 But now a new sound fills the air... 1112 01:00:54,290 --> 01:00:57,694 The laughter of a woman who has walked beside me. 1113 01:00:57,728 --> 01:01:00,297 She's helped fill the void through music, 1114 01:01:00,330 --> 01:01:04,001 through words, art and rhyme... 1115 01:01:05,802 --> 01:01:07,871 and eases the pain of the simple sound 1116 01:01:07,905 --> 01:01:09,773 of a child who's long gone." 1117 01:01:09,806 --> 01:01:11,808 ♪♪ 1118 01:01:29,227 --> 01:01:30,428 [audience whispering] 1119 01:01:36,034 --> 01:01:39,070 So, Tim Dimmitt. 1120 01:01:41,072 --> 01:01:43,208 You always wear your sunglasses at night? 1121 01:01:43,241 --> 01:01:48,047 - My eyes are sensitive to light. - Oh. 1122 01:01:48,080 --> 01:01:50,349 So I use my other senses, like my hands, 1123 01:01:50,382 --> 01:01:53,852 nose, and ears in low-light situations. 1124 01:01:53,886 --> 01:01:55,788 And I can tell that you're wearing a moisturizer 1125 01:01:55,821 --> 01:01:59,024 that has a strong scent of gardenia, 1126 01:01:59,058 --> 01:02:00,192 a hint of jasmine... 1127 01:02:01,427 --> 01:02:03,762 and a refined honeysuckle finish. 1128 01:02:06,198 --> 01:02:08,969 - That's amazing. - Heard that. 1129 01:02:09,002 --> 01:02:10,003 [Sara chuckles] 1130 01:02:15,275 --> 01:02:17,477 I can tell you're a very sensitive man. 1131 01:02:18,945 --> 01:02:21,515 The poem you recited was very moving. 1132 01:02:21,549 --> 01:02:23,316 It must have taken a lot of courage 1133 01:02:23,350 --> 01:02:25,952 to say it out loud like that. 1134 01:02:27,287 --> 01:02:29,489 Oh, I'm just trying to sort things out. 1135 01:02:29,523 --> 01:02:31,791 The world is a messy place. 1136 01:02:35,429 --> 01:02:37,198 Hey, how are you doing? 1137 01:02:38,432 --> 01:02:40,401 I'm all right, you know? 1138 01:02:40,434 --> 01:02:43,337 Just killing time. 1139 01:02:44,573 --> 01:02:47,208 Before we met, 1140 01:02:47,241 --> 01:02:49,076 I was kind of in a funk. 1141 01:02:50,311 --> 01:02:53,080 I was depressed, to be honest. 1142 01:02:54,448 --> 01:02:56,918 I couldn't access my creativity, 1143 01:02:56,952 --> 01:02:59,589 and then... I met you, 1144 01:02:59,622 --> 01:03:03,091 and that all went away. So... 1145 01:03:04,459 --> 01:03:07,095 I guess that's the opposite of killing time. 1146 01:03:12,467 --> 01:03:14,036 Hey, why don't you tell me something 1147 01:03:14,069 --> 01:03:16,004 about the girl in the poem? 1148 01:03:21,944 --> 01:03:24,080 I don't like talking about it, it's... 1149 01:03:25,882 --> 01:03:26,916 It's too hard. 1150 01:03:28,552 --> 01:03:32,922 I understand. It is hard. 1151 01:03:32,955 --> 01:03:37,960 It's hard to talk about the most painful things in our lives, 1152 01:03:37,994 --> 01:03:41,164 but sometimes... 1153 01:03:41,197 --> 01:03:45,069 when we look inside and deal with those most painful things, 1154 01:03:45,102 --> 01:03:48,540 it can turn into something really beautiful. 1155 01:03:50,040 --> 01:03:54,111 So... if you want to talk about her... 1156 01:03:55,580 --> 01:03:56,880 I'm here. 1157 01:04:01,251 --> 01:04:06,090 [sighs] It's been a long time since I let someone in. 1158 01:04:06,123 --> 01:04:08,125 ♪♪ 1159 01:04:10,995 --> 01:04:12,997 Her name was Didi. 1160 01:04:15,534 --> 01:04:17,435 She had a beautiful soul. 1161 01:04:18,436 --> 01:04:20,305 She loved country music, 1162 01:04:20,338 --> 01:04:23,508 so I'd sing "Achy-Breaky Heart" to her every morning. 1163 01:04:23,542 --> 01:04:26,444 - Her laugh was magic. - [little girl giggles] 1164 01:04:26,478 --> 01:04:28,913 - Oh, my God! Oh! - I am so sorry! 1165 01:04:28,947 --> 01:04:31,449 - Ew. Oh, it's soaked. Oh, my God. - Oh... 1166 01:04:31,483 --> 01:04:33,986 - Yeah, can I get a napkin, please? - Yeah. 1167 01:04:34,019 --> 01:04:36,021 [groans] Oh, my dress. 1168 01:04:36,055 --> 01:04:37,990 You know what? I'm going to go to the bathroom. 1169 01:04:38,023 --> 01:04:39,593 I'm sorry. Excuse me. 1170 01:04:40,594 --> 01:04:41,595 [muttering] God! 1171 01:04:43,396 --> 01:04:45,398 ♪♪ 1172 01:04:50,269 --> 01:04:51,270 [phone chimes] 1173 01:04:52,438 --> 01:04:55,107 [toilet flushes] 1174 01:04:55,141 --> 01:04:56,075 [phone chimes] 1175 01:04:58,445 --> 01:04:59,446 [phone chimes] 1176 01:05:01,114 --> 01:05:03,116 [music playing throughout] 1177 01:05:30,311 --> 01:05:32,614 ♪♪ 1178 01:05:54,403 --> 01:05:56,405 Shit. 1179 01:06:00,342 --> 01:06:02,344 ♪♪ 1180 01:06:37,849 --> 01:06:39,551 [pages thudding together] 1181 01:06:49,561 --> 01:06:50,762 [distant honking] 1182 01:06:55,299 --> 01:06:56,334 [elevator dings] 1183 01:07:01,574 --> 01:07:03,709 [sighs] Okay, we've got to stop meeting like this. 1184 01:07:03,743 --> 01:07:05,611 So, this was all about a book? 1185 01:07:05,645 --> 01:07:07,178 Yeah, I was right about you. 1186 01:07:07,212 --> 01:07:08,714 That's not fair. I care about your brother. 1187 01:07:08,748 --> 01:07:10,382 No, you don't care about shit. 1188 01:07:10,415 --> 01:07:12,284 You're just one more person with their hand out, 1189 01:07:12,317 --> 01:07:13,586 taking what you want from him. 1190 01:07:13,619 --> 01:07:15,120 You're just like our fosters. 1191 01:07:15,153 --> 01:07:17,355 I have been looking for him. Where is he? 1192 01:07:17,389 --> 01:07:19,559 No, I told you not to get involved with him, okay? 1193 01:07:19,592 --> 01:07:21,728 Now he's got to put his pieces back together 'cause of you. 1194 01:07:21,762 --> 01:07:24,765 What do you expect me to do? I can't help someone 1195 01:07:24,798 --> 01:07:26,733 who won't even admit that they have a problem. 1196 01:07:26,767 --> 01:07:29,536 A problem? No, you're the one with a problem. 1197 01:07:29,570 --> 01:07:31,103 Now stay the fuck away from us. 1198 01:07:31,137 --> 01:07:33,774 - I won't ask again. - Where is he? 1199 01:07:33,807 --> 01:07:37,476 Well, what's his address? I'll find him myself. 1200 01:07:37,510 --> 01:07:39,145 A last name, maybe? 1201 01:07:39,178 --> 01:07:42,381 Gee, thanks, Shad. Very helpful. 1202 01:07:45,185 --> 01:07:47,187 ♪♪ 1203 01:07:48,355 --> 01:07:49,591 - It's finished? - Yeah. 1204 01:07:49,624 --> 01:07:51,726 Oh, that was fast. 1205 01:07:51,759 --> 01:07:54,161 I'm actually excited to see how this thing ends. 1206 01:07:55,763 --> 01:07:57,565 So what's up with you and Godfrey? 1207 01:07:57,599 --> 01:07:59,366 I still haven't seen him. 1208 01:07:59,399 --> 01:08:02,135 Sara, you need to find him and make things right. 1209 01:08:02,169 --> 01:08:04,137 If he was pissed about your personal diary, 1210 01:08:04,171 --> 01:08:05,740 he's going to be even more upset 1211 01:08:05,773 --> 01:08:07,909 when your book is a huge best-seller, 1212 01:08:07,942 --> 01:08:09,845 knock on wood. 1213 01:08:09,878 --> 01:08:12,213 Well, his brother told me to stay away. 1214 01:08:12,246 --> 01:08:14,550 - So what? Who cares? - So, I'm staying away. 1215 01:08:14,583 --> 01:08:18,587 I love you, but this, like, manic pixie dream girl, 1216 01:08:18,621 --> 01:08:19,855 "I don't know what's going on" thing 1217 01:08:19,888 --> 01:08:21,724 is really starting to piss me off. 1218 01:08:21,757 --> 01:08:24,225 You forced your way into that man's life, 1219 01:08:24,258 --> 01:08:26,562 and you made a mess of it, and now that it doesn't suit your needs anymore, 1220 01:08:26,595 --> 01:08:28,396 you're just going to walk away. 1221 01:08:28,429 --> 01:08:31,232 You were the one who told me to keep hanging out with him. 1222 01:08:31,265 --> 01:08:33,770 Yeah, for inspiration, not to ruin his life. 1223 01:08:33,803 --> 01:08:35,605 And honestly, the truth is, like, 1224 01:08:35,639 --> 01:08:37,540 this is your M.O. This is what you do. 1225 01:08:37,574 --> 01:08:39,174 You bail when things get hard. 1226 01:08:39,208 --> 01:08:40,844 That... that is not true. 1227 01:08:40,877 --> 01:08:43,479 No? You didn't bail on Simon? 1228 01:08:43,512 --> 01:08:44,848 He broke up with me! 1229 01:08:44,881 --> 01:08:46,916 You pushed him away because he didn't fit 1230 01:08:46,950 --> 01:08:49,485 your version of what an artist should be, 1231 01:08:49,518 --> 01:08:52,187 whatever that means, after you made him become an artist. 1232 01:08:52,221 --> 01:08:54,390 That is such bullshit, Kelly. 1233 01:08:54,423 --> 01:08:56,459 Yeah, and there's more, Sara, okay? 1234 01:08:56,493 --> 01:08:58,461 You think everyone is a phony. 1235 01:08:58,495 --> 01:09:00,665 Simon's a phony, Ben and his friends are phony. 1236 01:09:00,698 --> 01:09:03,634 Somehow no one but you is living their authentic life, 1237 01:09:03,668 --> 01:09:06,671 yet you are writing a book that you think is beneath you. 1238 01:09:06,704 --> 01:09:08,706 - Because you wanted me to! - [scoffs] 1239 01:09:08,739 --> 01:09:10,440 I was perfectly happy representing you 1240 01:09:10,473 --> 01:09:12,943 when you were writing feminist allegories 1241 01:09:12,977 --> 01:09:15,445 about the mermaid myth that sold five copies, 1242 01:09:15,478 --> 01:09:18,214 but when I told you that you could make money writing garbage, 1243 01:09:18,248 --> 01:09:19,717 you jumped at the chance. 1244 01:09:22,319 --> 01:09:24,455 I am telling you this because I'm your friend. 1245 01:09:24,488 --> 01:09:26,725 Well, it doesn't feel like you're my friend. 1246 01:09:26,758 --> 01:09:28,359 Well, friendship doesn't always feel good 1247 01:09:28,392 --> 01:09:29,828 and I know you think I'm an asshole, 1248 01:09:29,861 --> 01:09:32,531 but you know I am a good friend, and I am a loyal friend, 1249 01:09:32,564 --> 01:09:35,734 and friends tell each other the truth, even when it sucks. 1250 01:09:35,767 --> 01:09:37,468 Yeah, well, this lunch sucks! 1251 01:09:38,970 --> 01:09:40,939 - The food is very good... - The food is very good. 1252 01:09:40,972 --> 01:09:42,741 This sucks. 1253 01:09:42,774 --> 01:09:45,845 Sara, do you see the guy over my shoulder? 1254 01:09:45,878 --> 01:09:48,948 - Who, the bartender? - No. The Buddha. 1255 01:09:48,981 --> 01:09:50,717 Yeah. What about him? 1256 01:09:50,750 --> 01:09:51,984 Do you know what he would say 1257 01:09:52,018 --> 01:09:54,453 if he were to join this conversation? 1258 01:09:54,486 --> 01:09:56,789 No, I do not. 1259 01:09:56,823 --> 01:09:59,524 He would say, "You need to follow the Eightfold Path." 1260 01:09:59,559 --> 01:10:01,359 It is the path that teaches us 1261 01:10:01,393 --> 01:10:03,896 the importance of actively helping others 1262 01:10:03,930 --> 01:10:05,698 to free them from their suffering. 1263 01:10:05,732 --> 01:10:08,334 Okay. What do you know about Buddhism? 1264 01:10:08,367 --> 01:10:11,437 A lot, because I am a Buddhist, so... 1265 01:10:11,471 --> 01:10:12,472 You're a Buddhist? 1266 01:10:13,707 --> 01:10:15,576 You're a Buddhist? This whole time? 1267 01:10:16,844 --> 01:10:18,579 You... [laughing] 1268 01:10:18,612 --> 01:10:20,313 You're a Buddhist! 1269 01:10:20,346 --> 01:10:23,249 You're a Buddhist? [laughing] 1270 01:10:24,651 --> 01:10:25,953 She's a Buddhist! 1271 01:10:25,986 --> 01:10:27,955 [laughing continues] 1272 01:10:27,988 --> 01:10:31,524 You've got to be the worst Buddhist I've ever seen! 1273 01:10:31,558 --> 01:10:34,696 If you reduce the world down to atoms and molecules, 1274 01:10:34,729 --> 01:10:36,998 you see that we're all just one big organism, 1275 01:10:37,031 --> 01:10:41,401 and that what we do as individuals has an effect on others. 1276 01:10:41,435 --> 01:10:43,303 You have an obligation to help that man 1277 01:10:43,337 --> 01:10:45,807 because in a way, you are that man. 1278 01:10:47,041 --> 01:10:48,843 Okay, I... [laughs] 1279 01:10:48,877 --> 01:10:51,679 I didn't come here to get confused and lectured at. 1280 01:10:51,713 --> 01:10:53,380 Who would go anywhere to be confused? 1281 01:10:53,413 --> 01:10:54,749 Like, why would you pay for that? 1282 01:10:54,783 --> 01:10:56,451 You know what? You have my book, 1283 01:10:56,484 --> 01:10:57,820 so just leave me alone. 1284 01:10:59,354 --> 01:11:01,791 - [banging table] - [silverware rattles] 1285 01:11:01,824 --> 01:11:04,459 Ow. 1286 01:11:04,492 --> 01:11:07,362 You should make sure there's more space between the tables. 1287 01:11:12,134 --> 01:11:14,335 ["Two of Us on the Run" by Cleopatra Coleman begins] 1288 01:11:26,149 --> 01:11:29,318 ♪ There are two of us on the run ♪ 1289 01:11:32,454 --> 01:11:35,091 ♪ Going so fast, every doubt we had ♪ 1290 01:11:35,125 --> 01:11:38,895 ♪ Is coming undone and ♪ 1291 01:11:38,929 --> 01:11:43,901 ♪ Falling behind with everything we left there ♪ 1292 01:11:43,935 --> 01:11:46,904 ♪ We held on ♪ 1293 01:11:46,938 --> 01:11:49,907 ♪ For far too long ♪ 1294 01:11:49,941 --> 01:11:52,009 ♪ And now we ♪ 1295 01:11:52,043 --> 01:11:55,713 ♪ Pass so many people on the road ♪ 1296 01:11:58,683 --> 01:12:01,118 ♪ They could come along ♪ 1297 01:12:01,152 --> 01:12:05,122 ♪ I wish they'd been told ♪ 1298 01:12:05,156 --> 01:12:08,694 ♪ They may call it a shot in the dark ♪ 1299 01:12:09,962 --> 01:12:12,998 ♪ From what we know ♪ 1300 01:12:13,031 --> 01:12:16,735 ♪ It's not unheard of ♪ 1301 01:12:16,768 --> 01:12:20,772 ♪ And we'll one day ♪ 1302 01:12:20,806 --> 01:12:23,942 ♪ Tell our ♪ 1303 01:12:23,976 --> 01:12:27,511 ♪ Story ♪ 1304 01:12:27,546 --> 01:12:30,682 ♪ Of how ♪ 1305 01:12:30,716 --> 01:12:33,820 ♪ We made ♪ 1306 01:12:33,853 --> 01:12:37,156 ♪ Something ♪ 1307 01:12:37,190 --> 01:12:43,830 ♪ Of ourselves now ♪ 1308 01:12:43,863 --> 01:12:47,934 ♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ 1309 01:12:50,670 --> 01:12:54,406 ♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ 1310 01:12:56,844 --> 01:12:58,846 Oh, my God. Hey! Hey! I know you! 1311 01:12:58,879 --> 01:13:01,048 Hey! Hi! I know you! 1312 01:13:01,081 --> 01:13:03,050 Can I... No, please. Can I just ask you a question? 1313 01:13:03,083 --> 01:13:04,551 Please? Please? Please? Please? 1314 01:13:04,585 --> 01:13:07,588 Well, if it isn't the DJ wannabe. 1315 01:13:07,621 --> 01:13:09,156 DJ Meow-na Lisa, right? 1316 01:13:09,189 --> 01:13:12,660 Uh, no, Sara. But, yeah. Hi. 1317 01:13:12,693 --> 01:13:16,664 I'm not really a DJ hype cat. 1318 01:13:16,697 --> 01:13:18,666 [gasps] No shit? 1319 01:13:18,699 --> 01:13:20,602 What do you want? 1320 01:13:20,635 --> 01:13:24,806 I haven't been able to find Godfrey. DJ Katamine. 1321 01:13:24,839 --> 01:13:28,209 - Have you guys seen him? - Not for a few weeks. 1322 01:13:28,243 --> 01:13:31,680 It's like he dropped off the face of the planet or something. 1323 01:13:31,713 --> 01:13:34,015 - What about Shad? - Shad's in jail. 1324 01:13:34,049 --> 01:13:38,153 - Got caught boosting mixers. - Shit! Seriously? 1325 01:13:38,186 --> 01:13:40,121 He's going to be in there for a minute. 1326 01:13:40,155 --> 01:13:42,724 There's got to be something I can do to help. 1327 01:13:45,161 --> 01:13:47,563 [buzzer rings] 1328 01:13:47,596 --> 01:13:49,765 - [gate opening] - [indistinct chatter] 1329 01:14:04,146 --> 01:14:05,915 You should've taken the money. 1330 01:14:05,948 --> 01:14:08,085 What are you doing down here? 1331 01:14:08,118 --> 01:14:10,120 Bailing your ass out of jail. 1332 01:14:10,153 --> 01:14:11,621 Oh, yeah, right. 1333 01:14:11,655 --> 01:14:14,658 If you take me to him. 1334 01:14:18,562 --> 01:14:19,963 I'll take you up on that. 1335 01:14:19,997 --> 01:14:22,666 Just to get away from that crazy mofo. 1336 01:14:22,699 --> 01:14:24,533 He's a baby-faced serial killer. 1337 01:14:26,036 --> 01:14:27,838 But he looks so normal. 1338 01:14:30,207 --> 01:14:32,210 ♪♪ 1339 01:14:37,348 --> 01:14:39,550 [phone ringing] 1340 01:14:44,155 --> 01:14:46,691 Maintain the integrity of the pitch. 1341 01:14:46,724 --> 01:14:49,027 - But put it in your own words. What? - Mr. Glasser? 1342 01:14:49,060 --> 01:14:51,129 I think there's something wrong with G-Money. 1343 01:14:53,865 --> 01:14:55,734 [snoring] 1344 01:14:58,303 --> 01:15:00,906 He looks fine to me. 1345 01:15:00,939 --> 01:15:03,709 He's in his bathrobe, sir. 1346 01:15:03,742 --> 01:15:06,912 - Does it turn you on? - Sir? 1347 01:15:06,945 --> 01:15:10,649 Chicken Little? "The sky is falling." 1348 01:15:10,682 --> 01:15:12,184 - [gobbling sounds] - Okay, then. Yup. 1349 01:15:12,217 --> 01:15:13,919 What a dick! 1350 01:15:13,952 --> 01:15:18,023 To begin again, press eight after you hear the beep. 1351 01:15:18,057 --> 01:15:20,727 - Beep! - [man] I'd like to change my order, please. 1352 01:15:20,760 --> 01:15:23,063 Is this a real person I'm talking to? 1353 01:15:23,096 --> 01:15:24,998 I am a new beta version 1354 01:15:25,031 --> 01:15:28,001 of an automated voice system called Cray-bot. 1355 01:15:28,034 --> 01:15:29,936 My name is John. 1356 01:15:29,969 --> 01:15:33,606 Yes, I'd like to cancel my web-builder package, please. 1357 01:15:33,640 --> 01:15:35,375 Your credit card has been charged 1358 01:15:35,408 --> 01:15:40,213 - $125.60. - No! 1359 01:15:40,246 --> 01:15:43,216 As I just said, I'd like to cancel that order. 1360 01:15:43,249 --> 01:15:50,124 Your credit card has been charged $125.60. 1361 01:15:50,157 --> 01:15:52,226 [chuckles] 1362 01:15:52,259 --> 01:15:54,962 That man is a goddamn genius. 1363 01:15:56,897 --> 01:15:58,833 [teacher] Hey, everyone, guess who's here? 1364 01:15:58,866 --> 01:16:01,068 Mr. G's back, and he's going to play 1365 01:16:01,102 --> 01:16:03,237 some really fun music for you all. 1366 01:16:03,270 --> 01:16:05,106 [kids laughing] 1367 01:16:10,745 --> 01:16:12,647 Two volunteers, I guess. 1368 01:16:14,282 --> 01:16:17,085 - Okay, you heard Mr. G. Two volunteers. - [sighs] 1369 01:16:18,420 --> 01:16:20,856 Great. You guys are doing great. 1370 01:16:20,889 --> 01:16:24,226 All right. Great job. Here you go. 1371 01:16:25,794 --> 01:16:27,229 [little girl giggling] 1372 01:16:28,897 --> 01:16:31,333 [giggling] 1373 01:16:36,706 --> 01:16:38,708 ♪♪ 1374 01:16:44,847 --> 01:16:46,215 Hey, Mr. G, you all right? 1375 01:16:56,126 --> 01:16:58,128 ♪♪ 1376 01:17:07,471 --> 01:17:09,406 [cooing] 1377 01:17:15,946 --> 01:17:17,381 It's weird. 1378 01:17:17,414 --> 01:17:20,852 He's here every day, but he ain't no character. 1379 01:17:20,885 --> 01:17:24,422 Just like some sort of robot, talking all monotone and shit. 1380 01:17:24,455 --> 01:17:26,191 - It's bad. - [Sara sighs] 1381 01:17:26,224 --> 01:17:29,827 I really messed up, I'm going to go talk to him. 1382 01:17:37,835 --> 01:17:39,938 Hey, Godfrey. 1383 01:17:39,971 --> 01:17:43,274 I know you're mad at me, and I don't blame you, 1384 01:17:43,308 --> 01:17:45,344 but I'm really worried about you. 1385 01:17:46,545 --> 01:17:47,913 [sighs] 1386 01:17:55,521 --> 01:17:57,423 Do you need anything? 1387 01:18:00,125 --> 01:18:02,728 [robotic] I have to go. 1388 01:18:05,364 --> 01:18:09,369 Well, do you want to, like, DJ tonight or... 1389 01:18:09,402 --> 01:18:11,137 I mean, Shad's back. 1390 01:18:11,171 --> 01:18:14,241 Me and him are going to break out his new mixer. 1391 01:18:14,274 --> 01:18:17,277 DJ Meow-na Lisa in the house. You know? 1392 01:18:19,112 --> 01:18:20,780 Look, I know what happened to your sister, 1393 01:18:20,814 --> 01:18:23,183 and I'm so sorry. 1394 01:18:23,216 --> 01:18:26,920 Those fosters, they were supposed to protect all of you. 1395 01:18:28,922 --> 01:18:31,157 You have to forgive yourself. 1396 01:18:31,191 --> 01:18:33,194 [violin playing] 1397 01:18:38,132 --> 01:18:40,001 [phone ringing] 1398 01:18:44,305 --> 01:18:47,308 - [Kelly] Are you sitting down? - No. 1399 01:18:47,341 --> 01:18:48,843 Doesn't matter, because I am. 1400 01:18:48,876 --> 01:18:51,245 Guess what? Axi loves the book. Yeah. 1401 01:18:51,279 --> 01:18:52,980 They want to get together right away. 1402 01:18:53,014 --> 01:18:54,215 They want to talk film rights. 1403 01:18:54,248 --> 01:18:56,485 I can't right now, Kelly. 1404 01:18:56,518 --> 01:18:58,086 What do you mean, not now? 1405 01:18:58,120 --> 01:18:59,521 You are such a bummer sometimes. 1406 01:18:59,555 --> 01:19:01,456 Meet me at Axi tomorrow at 11:00. 1407 01:19:01,490 --> 01:19:03,358 You sell this movie, the rest of them will follow, 1408 01:19:03,392 --> 01:19:04,560 I promise you. 1409 01:19:04,594 --> 01:19:06,995 - I got to go. - What the hell, Sara? 1410 01:19:08,297 --> 01:19:10,299 ♪♪ 1411 01:19:17,439 --> 01:19:19,542 Fantastic stuff, Sara, really. 1412 01:19:19,576 --> 01:19:24,547 So original, and-and oof! Compelling. 1413 01:19:24,581 --> 01:19:27,450 So you guys might want to buckle up here 1414 01:19:27,483 --> 01:19:29,919 because we're so excited. 1415 01:19:29,952 --> 01:19:32,055 We want to do an initial run of... 1416 01:19:32,088 --> 01:19:33,356 [imitates drumroll] 1417 01:19:33,389 --> 01:19:34,991 One hundred thousand copies. 1418 01:19:35,024 --> 01:19:36,426 [Kelly screeches] 1419 01:19:38,094 --> 01:19:43,166 And we're going to up your advance to $350,000. 1420 01:19:43,199 --> 01:19:45,035 [quiet screaming] 1421 01:19:45,069 --> 01:19:46,537 Dollars. 1422 01:19:46,571 --> 01:19:49,039 That's dollars. Fuck, yeah! 1423 01:19:49,073 --> 01:19:51,208 [laughing] Also, 1424 01:19:51,241 --> 01:19:54,345 multiple studios are already calling on the film rights. 1425 01:19:54,378 --> 01:19:57,181 You're going to make some serious cash money on this. 1426 01:19:57,214 --> 01:19:58,882 Fuck, yeah! 1427 01:19:58,916 --> 01:20:00,918 That is what gets me hard in the fucking morning! 1428 01:20:00,951 --> 01:20:04,388 Whoo! Boners! Everyone has boners. 1429 01:20:04,421 --> 01:20:07,425 Oh, my God! I represent so many shitty writers. 1430 01:20:07,459 --> 01:20:09,094 - Yeah! Whoo! - I needed this win! 1431 01:20:09,127 --> 01:20:10,528 Oh, I'm so unhappy in my marriage. 1432 01:20:10,563 --> 01:20:12,364 This is the only thing I am living for. 1433 01:20:12,397 --> 01:20:15,967 Aren't you fucking pumped?! Aren't you excited?! 1434 01:20:16,000 --> 01:20:17,969 - She's excited. - I, uh... 1435 01:20:18,002 --> 01:20:19,638 - She is, we are... - It's truly... 1436 01:20:19,672 --> 01:20:22,140 - truly needing more money. - ...unbelievable. 1437 01:20:22,173 --> 01:20:23,475 Unbelievable. 1438 01:20:23,508 --> 01:20:25,310 You guys, if that got your cocks racing, 1439 01:20:25,343 --> 01:20:28,146 get your seatbelts, clickity-clack them back in, 1440 01:20:28,179 --> 01:20:29,347 because guess what? 1441 01:20:29,381 --> 01:20:31,216 We've mocked up some covers to show you. 1442 01:20:31,249 --> 01:20:32,652 If you look on the... Where are they? 1443 01:20:32,686 --> 01:20:34,453 You've got one job. [forced laugh] 1444 01:20:34,487 --> 01:20:36,389 One thing that you do. There it is. Wow. 1445 01:20:36,422 --> 01:20:38,057 Slowly but surely. 1446 01:20:38,090 --> 01:20:40,159 We've even come up with some alternative titles. 1447 01:20:40,192 --> 01:20:42,528 Check it out. Okay, we're going real retro kitschy. 1448 01:20:42,562 --> 01:20:46,298 - [phone ringing] - I'm sorry. That's... 1449 01:20:46,332 --> 01:20:48,267 - Oh, she took it. She took the phone call. - Hello? 1450 01:20:48,300 --> 01:20:50,936 - Regarding other... - Shad? I'm sorry. I can't right now. 1451 01:20:50,970 --> 01:20:54,540 Let's stay focused here, and blonde to blonde. 1452 01:20:54,574 --> 01:20:56,376 - What's going on? - What type of contingencies 1453 01:20:56,410 --> 01:20:58,078 - are we looking at? - Okay. 1454 01:20:58,111 --> 01:21:00,080 I have to go. I have to go. I have to go. 1455 01:21:00,113 --> 01:21:02,082 Where did she go? Is she still behind me? 1456 01:21:02,115 --> 01:21:04,084 My friend's in trouble. I'm sorry. 1457 01:21:04,117 --> 01:21:05,485 Excuse me? 1458 01:21:10,056 --> 01:21:12,727 - Do you think she's coming back? - I-I don't know. 1459 01:21:12,760 --> 01:21:15,195 - Okay. I don't... - Okay. Oh. 1460 01:21:15,228 --> 01:21:17,197 [bell ringing] 1461 01:21:17,230 --> 01:21:19,500 [Kelly] Because we are not negotiating right now. 1462 01:21:19,534 --> 01:21:22,203 I will call you when she is ready. 1463 01:21:22,236 --> 01:21:23,271 Okay. 1464 01:21:24,606 --> 01:21:27,041 - Thank you for being here. - Of course. 1465 01:21:27,074 --> 01:21:30,311 Why is everyone so tiny in this office building? 1466 01:21:30,344 --> 01:21:31,613 There he is. 1467 01:21:31,647 --> 01:21:34,081 - Hey, Shad. - Thanks for coming. 1468 01:21:34,115 --> 01:21:36,718 You know, shit's just getting way over my head. 1469 01:21:36,752 --> 01:21:39,655 - Who's she? - Oh, that's my friend, Kelly. 1470 01:21:42,758 --> 01:21:44,226 All right. 1471 01:21:44,259 --> 01:21:47,229 So I'm afraid we're in kind of a bind here. 1472 01:21:47,262 --> 01:21:48,997 So what's the issue? 1473 01:21:49,031 --> 01:21:50,499 [sighs] Some parents noticed 1474 01:21:50,532 --> 01:21:53,101 some odd things about Mr. G. 1475 01:21:53,135 --> 01:21:57,539 Many of them are wondering if he might be schizophrenic. 1476 01:21:57,574 --> 01:22:00,409 He's not schizophrenic, and I will tell you why. 1477 01:22:00,442 --> 01:22:03,178 One, he does not suffer from visual hallucinations. 1478 01:22:03,212 --> 01:22:06,348 Two, he does not suffer from auditory hallucinations 1479 01:22:06,381 --> 01:22:09,552 and three, he does not exhibit signs of delusional behavior, 1480 01:22:09,587 --> 01:22:11,221 so there's that. 1481 01:22:11,254 --> 01:22:13,624 - Is she a doctor? - She repped Dr. Phil. 1482 01:22:13,657 --> 01:22:17,628 Look, what do I tell a concerned parent 1483 01:22:17,661 --> 01:22:21,431 who said that she saw him performing as a cowboy on the street 1484 01:22:21,464 --> 01:22:25,068 and then, less than an hour later, dressed as a matador? 1485 01:22:25,101 --> 01:22:26,704 What, he can't perform now? 1486 01:22:26,737 --> 01:22:29,472 If a person is found mentally unstable, 1487 01:22:29,506 --> 01:22:33,077 obviously they're not going to be allowed to work 1488 01:22:33,110 --> 01:22:35,412 with any children in Washington State. 1489 01:22:35,446 --> 01:22:39,083 No, no. Godfrey is not mentally unstable. 1490 01:22:39,116 --> 01:22:42,319 He is a man dealing with grief in a profound way. 1491 01:22:42,353 --> 01:22:44,255 He doesn't need a psych evaluation. 1492 01:22:44,288 --> 01:22:46,123 He needs support, 1493 01:22:46,156 --> 01:22:49,093 and time to process what he's going through. 1494 01:22:49,126 --> 01:22:50,662 Look... 1495 01:22:50,695 --> 01:22:54,833 I appreciate everything that has been said here today. 1496 01:22:54,866 --> 01:22:59,639 But if Mr. G doesn't grade out with his evaluations next week, 1497 01:22:59,672 --> 01:23:01,406 he's done here. 1498 01:23:02,808 --> 01:23:04,810 ♪♪ 1499 01:23:23,429 --> 01:23:25,097 [sighs] 1500 01:23:40,781 --> 01:23:43,785 [Sara] Hey, y'all! My name is Cowgirl Cassie. 1501 01:23:43,818 --> 01:23:45,853 Now I'm not really a performer, 1502 01:23:45,887 --> 01:23:48,890 but today I decided to sing some songs for y'all 1503 01:23:48,923 --> 01:23:51,325 and for a friend I'm hoping to see. 1504 01:23:53,695 --> 01:23:57,164 [singing "Achy-Breaky Heart"] 1505 01:24:10,913 --> 01:24:13,114 ["Achy-Breaky Heart" continues] 1506 01:24:45,982 --> 01:24:47,751 Hey there, young man. 1507 01:24:47,784 --> 01:24:50,787 Why don't you come on up here and join me on the stage? 1508 01:24:50,820 --> 01:24:55,358 Help me sing this song. Come on now. Don't be shy! 1509 01:24:55,392 --> 01:24:57,595 Come on up here. I see you. Come on. 1510 01:24:57,628 --> 01:24:58,929 Get on up here! 1511 01:25:01,966 --> 01:25:04,534 Where you belong. That's right. 1512 01:25:04,567 --> 01:25:07,404 Oop, what's that? That's for you. 1513 01:25:07,437 --> 01:25:10,440 [Sara singing "Achy Breaky Heart"] 1514 01:25:25,389 --> 01:25:27,726 [joins in singing] 1515 01:25:42,506 --> 01:25:46,511 [both continue singing] 1516 01:26:16,476 --> 01:26:18,979 Whoo, whoo, whoo! 1517 01:26:22,916 --> 01:26:26,887 Cowboy Cody, everybody! Give him a round of applause. 1518 01:26:26,920 --> 01:26:28,822 [cheering and whooping] 1519 01:26:30,791 --> 01:26:32,459 Thank you. 1520 01:26:33,795 --> 01:26:37,065 Well, you got a smile on your face. 1521 01:26:37,098 --> 01:26:39,566 - That's a good thing. - You think so? 1522 01:26:39,601 --> 01:26:42,036 Hell, I know so. 1523 01:26:42,070 --> 01:26:43,705 So, we friends again? 1524 01:26:45,974 --> 01:26:49,577 You got retty good for someone who doesn't perform there, young lady. 1525 01:26:49,611 --> 01:26:51,913 - Maybe we should make a duo. - [Sara giggles] 1526 01:26:51,946 --> 01:26:55,517 Yeah, like Faith Hill and Tim McGraw. 1527 01:26:55,550 --> 01:26:56,886 You could be Faith. 1528 01:26:56,919 --> 01:26:58,319 So if we're going to be a duo, 1529 01:26:58,353 --> 01:27:00,355 then we're friends now, right? 1530 01:27:00,388 --> 01:27:03,458 'Cause friends are there for each other. 1531 01:27:03,491 --> 01:27:06,695 And... I want to help you. 1532 01:27:08,563 --> 01:27:10,532 Like you helped me. 1533 01:27:11,834 --> 01:27:15,537 And I know I haven't met the real you yet... 1534 01:27:17,840 --> 01:27:20,744 but the truth is, I'm the one that's the phony. 1535 01:27:20,777 --> 01:27:23,345 I wrote books I don't care about. 1536 01:27:23,379 --> 01:27:24,915 I was in a five-year relationship 1537 01:27:24,948 --> 01:27:27,483 that I only pretended was great. 1538 01:27:27,516 --> 01:27:28,685 I... [stammers] 1539 01:27:30,419 --> 01:27:33,489 I've been a phony... to friends, 1540 01:27:33,522 --> 01:27:35,592 to everyone in my life. 1541 01:27:35,625 --> 01:27:38,628 I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you about the book, 1542 01:27:38,662 --> 01:27:41,965 but I learned so much about you and myself writing it. 1543 01:27:41,998 --> 01:27:43,567 It changed me. 1544 01:27:54,444 --> 01:27:58,049 Look... you're going to lose your gig at the school. 1545 01:27:58,082 --> 01:28:00,350 If you don't show them the real you... 1546 01:28:02,452 --> 01:28:03,988 they're going to cut you from the program. 1547 01:28:05,555 --> 01:28:07,759 But the school is willing to work with you 1548 01:28:07,793 --> 01:28:09,527 if you can pull it together. 1549 01:28:09,560 --> 01:28:11,763 They have counselors there to help you through this, 1550 01:28:11,797 --> 01:28:13,665 and I could help you. 1551 01:28:14,833 --> 01:28:17,102 You just have to be yourself. 1552 01:28:19,838 --> 01:28:21,472 So what do you say? 1553 01:28:23,909 --> 01:28:25,509 Let's start over. 1554 01:28:27,478 --> 01:28:28,780 For real this time. 1555 01:28:28,814 --> 01:28:30,816 [music playing throughout] 1556 01:28:34,654 --> 01:28:36,155 Hi. I'm Sara. 1557 01:28:52,739 --> 01:28:54,007 Okay. 1558 01:29:00,147 --> 01:29:03,516 Well, then I guess that's goodbye. 1559 01:29:15,629 --> 01:29:17,064 [breathing hard] 1560 01:29:21,169 --> 01:29:22,569 Wait, Sara? 1561 01:29:24,039 --> 01:29:25,439 Don't leave. 1562 01:29:31,212 --> 01:29:32,714 It's me. 1563 01:29:35,984 --> 01:29:37,484 Godfrey. 1564 01:29:39,654 --> 01:29:41,656 I know who I am when I'm with you. 1565 01:29:43,292 --> 01:29:45,493 ♪♪ 1566 01:29:46,595 --> 01:29:47,697 [sighs] 1567 01:29:55,304 --> 01:29:56,839 [exhales sharply] 1568 01:30:00,910 --> 01:30:02,912 ♪♪ 1569 01:30:03,003 --> 01:30:08,003 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull