1 00:00:04,892 --> 00:00:06,572 Michael? 2 00:00:07,772 --> 00:00:09,332 Michael? David! 3 00:00:10,492 --> 00:00:12,292 You all right? Give me a minute. 4 00:00:12,292 --> 00:00:13,612 What are you doing now? 5 00:00:13,612 --> 00:00:16,332 I worry that I'm in a Hitchcock film. 6 00:00:16,332 --> 00:00:20,972 What do you mean? The birds are coming back 7 00:00:20,972 --> 00:00:22,612 to Port Talbot. 8 00:00:22,612 --> 00:00:23,812 That's nice. 9 00:00:23,812 --> 00:00:27,332 And a large blue finch is the leader, it seems. 10 00:00:27,332 --> 00:00:28,372 You all right? 11 00:00:30,452 --> 00:00:32,372 Just adjusting. You all right? 12 00:00:35,412 --> 00:00:38,532 Cachu hwch! Cachu hwch! 13 00:00:38,532 --> 00:00:41,892 Cachu hwch! Cachu hwch! Cachu hwch! 14 00:00:41,892 --> 00:00:45,132 Total bloomin' disaster. 15 00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:49,012 For those of you just joining us, welcome to my house. 16 00:00:49,012 --> 00:00:50,572 Welcome to my kitchen. 17 00:00:50,572 --> 00:00:53,012 I've been in prison here for half a year. 18 00:00:53,012 --> 00:00:55,012 I'm done with Zoom, if I'm being honest with you. 19 00:00:55,012 --> 00:00:57,612 But I'm here now with two people who actually made it work, 20 00:00:57,612 --> 00:00:59,172 Michael Sheen and David Tennant. 21 00:00:59,172 --> 00:01:01,812 Or should that be David Tennant and Michael Sheen? 22 00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:02,892 Ah! 23 00:01:02,892 --> 00:01:06,972 This is Romesh Ranganathan's Six Months In Lockdown, 24 00:01:06,972 --> 00:01:09,212 a celebration of the wonderful things 25 00:01:09,212 --> 00:01:11,692 that have basically got us through this challenging period. 26 00:01:11,692 --> 00:01:15,332 Michael and David are here to talk to us about their BBC show, Staged. 27 00:01:15,332 --> 00:01:17,212 Thank you for having us. Lovely to be here. 28 00:01:17,212 --> 00:01:19,732 And still with us, of course, Sir Michael Palin, 29 00:01:19,732 --> 00:01:23,772 who waited for Godot in an online reading of the Beckett classic. 30 00:01:23,772 --> 00:01:26,452 I meant to ask, Sir Michael, did Godot ever arrive? 31 00:01:26,452 --> 00:01:27,732 No, no. 32 00:01:27,732 --> 00:01:29,572 We're still waiting. 33 00:01:29,572 --> 00:01:32,372 OK, well, while you wait, David and Michael, 34 00:01:32,372 --> 00:01:34,092 massive congratulations on the show. 35 00:01:34,092 --> 00:01:36,412 Thank you. I know I have to say that, contractually, 36 00:01:36,412 --> 00:01:39,972 but genuinely, I mean it. Very funny. Thanks very much. Cheers. 37 00:01:39,972 --> 00:01:43,132 First question, I guess, is what's real and what's not? 38 00:01:43,132 --> 00:01:45,292 Like, is Simon that much of an idiot? 39 00:01:45,292 --> 00:01:46,612 N-Nooo... 40 00:01:46,612 --> 00:01:48,252 Noooo... 41 00:01:48,252 --> 00:01:50,132 Michael does shout at birds. 42 00:01:50,132 --> 00:01:54,172 Well, I have a bird's nest for hair, so it helps to be courteous. 43 00:01:54,172 --> 00:01:55,732 But it was a television show. 44 00:01:55,732 --> 00:01:58,172 It was a television show. Yes. 45 00:01:58,172 --> 00:02:01,772 So, I mean, does Simon's sister own that house? No. 46 00:02:01,772 --> 00:02:03,772 So what - no screenplay, no novel? 47 00:02:03,772 --> 00:02:05,652 No carrots, no pineapples. None of it. 48 00:02:05,652 --> 00:02:08,332 It did feel real. Well, thank you very much. 49 00:02:08,332 --> 00:02:10,452 How much of it was actually improvised? 50 00:02:10,452 --> 00:02:13,972 All of it. Well, that... That does come up a lot. 51 00:02:13,972 --> 00:02:17,812 Was there actually a script, then? There were...ideas. 52 00:02:17,812 --> 00:02:21,012 And then, you know, we would play around with it quite a lot. 53 00:02:21,012 --> 00:02:23,132 Not...not everything made it into the cut, though. 54 00:02:23,132 --> 00:02:25,652 No, there are hours of footage somewhere, 55 00:02:25,652 --> 00:02:27,452 of us not being particularly funny. 56 00:02:27,452 --> 00:02:30,852 So what gold did we lose to the cutting-room floor? 57 00:02:30,852 --> 00:02:34,612 Well, there was one moment where, quite memorably, 58 00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:38,532 David accused me of being a cut-price Mike Yarwood. 59 00:02:39,732 --> 00:02:40,972 Is that funny? 60 00:02:42,132 --> 00:02:45,892 Well, no. I don't think I actually know who Mike Yarwood is. 61 00:02:45,892 --> 00:02:48,932 Ah! You see? I told you, didn't I? I told you. I don't believe you. 62 00:02:48,932 --> 00:02:52,012 I don't believe... He's... He's a comedy titan! 63 00:02:52,012 --> 00:02:54,452 So, Romesh, most of David's contributions 64 00:02:54,452 --> 00:02:57,252 were based on these sort of bizarre, obscure references. 65 00:02:57,252 --> 00:02:59,132 Yeah. Well, that's why they're cut. 66 00:02:59,132 --> 00:03:01,892 I'm a little too intellectual for primetime. 67 00:03:01,892 --> 00:03:04,092 And not funny. Well, at least I didn't resort to 68 00:03:04,092 --> 00:03:05,692 lazy Muppet impressions, did I? 69 00:03:05,692 --> 00:03:08,852 There was nothing lazy about my Muppet! 70 00:03:08,852 --> 00:03:10,212 I was exhausted! 71 00:03:10,212 --> 00:03:13,252 Do you know who Mike Yarwood is, Sir Michael? 72 00:03:13,252 --> 00:03:15,332 Yeah, I actually know Mike Yarwood. 73 00:03:17,652 --> 00:03:20,132 Really? I didn't realise he was still, er...working. 74 00:03:21,172 --> 00:03:22,772 Well, let's have another clip. 75 00:03:22,772 --> 00:03:24,492 Great. Lovely. 76 00:03:27,532 --> 00:03:29,212 This one's a couple of minutes. OK. 77 00:03:29,212 --> 00:03:32,292 Which one is it? It's, er, cookie jar. 78 00:03:32,292 --> 00:03:34,932 Mmm. We've seen them all quite a lot now. 79 00:03:34,932 --> 00:03:38,092 I'm sure. I mean, I imagine Sir Michael's a step ahead there. 80 00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:40,052 Yes! Sir Michael, how many dead parrots 81 00:03:40,052 --> 00:03:42,012 do you reckon you've seen in your time? 82 00:03:42,012 --> 00:03:43,692 Oh, a few! 83 00:03:43,692 --> 00:03:46,612 What is the collective noun for dead parrots? 84 00:03:46,612 --> 00:03:47,852 A Norwegian blue. 85 00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:49,452 A sunken fjord! 86 00:03:49,452 --> 00:03:51,012 A macaw. Er, Sir Michael, 87 00:03:51,012 --> 00:03:53,772 any ideas, collective noun for dead parrots? 88 00:03:53,772 --> 00:03:55,332 A humiliation? 89 00:03:57,492 --> 00:03:59,892 Er, have you seen Staged, Sir Michael? Yeah. 90 00:03:59,892 --> 00:04:01,772 Yeah, I watched a couple. Have you? Which ones? 91 00:04:01,772 --> 00:04:03,652 The first one... Did you like it? 92 00:04:03,652 --> 00:04:06,412 Loved it. Yeah! Thank goodness for that. 93 00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:08,092 For what it was, you know. 94 00:04:09,532 --> 00:04:10,932 And we're back. 95 00:04:12,732 --> 00:04:16,172 That was BBC One's lockdown comedy Staged. 96 00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:19,492 David and Michael, you said the story is fictional, 97 00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:21,252 but what about your characters? 98 00:04:21,252 --> 00:04:24,292 Oh... Total fabrication. Nothing like us at all. 99 00:04:24,292 --> 00:04:26,532 Not... Not a scintilla. No, I mean, I don't think 100 00:04:26,532 --> 00:04:28,012 we're very funny in real life. 101 00:04:28,012 --> 00:04:30,692 Well, I don't think you're funny. I'm funny. Sure, obviously. 102 00:04:30,692 --> 00:04:32,972 I just mean, we're not... we're not comedians. 103 00:04:32,972 --> 00:04:34,372 Ah, you're still young. 104 00:04:34,372 --> 00:04:35,572 Yeah... 105 00:04:35,572 --> 00:04:36,932 And what's next for you guys? 106 00:04:36,932 --> 00:04:39,332 I'm back to proper work, actually. 107 00:04:39,332 --> 00:04:42,652 A show that I was working on before lockdown, is revving back up 108 00:04:42,652 --> 00:04:44,732 so I'm off out to South Africa. Very nice. 109 00:04:44,732 --> 00:04:46,372 We've had a couple of false starts, 110 00:04:46,372 --> 00:04:48,892 but I think this is finally it and I am flying tomorrow. 111 00:04:48,892 --> 00:04:51,892 Great. And Michael? I don't do proper work any more. 112 00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:55,292 So I'm off to New York to see family and friends. 113 00:04:55,292 --> 00:04:56,932 Right. Travel allowing, I imagine. 114 00:04:56,932 --> 00:04:58,332 Oh, no, it'll be fine. 115 00:04:58,332 --> 00:05:01,212 I believe. It will be fine. Yeah, of course. Of course. 116 00:05:01,212 --> 00:05:02,412 Sir Michael, do you reckon 117 00:05:02,412 --> 00:05:04,492 you would have done Staged if they'd asked you? 118 00:05:04,492 --> 00:05:07,012 Oh, no, I couldn't have kept up! 119 00:05:07,012 --> 00:05:10,052 No improvisation in Monty Python? 120 00:05:10,052 --> 00:05:11,652 No, we were quite disciplined. 121 00:05:11,652 --> 00:05:13,932 That wasn't the Staged approach. 122 00:05:13,932 --> 00:05:15,572 No! 123 00:05:15,572 --> 00:05:18,372 Although, I mean, I do think some quite brave stuff 124 00:05:18,372 --> 00:05:21,332 has come out of that more sort of improvisatory approach. 125 00:05:21,332 --> 00:05:22,812 Do you? 126 00:05:24,332 --> 00:05:27,252 Er, Michael, David, we've got another clip, 127 00:05:27,252 --> 00:05:28,932 but first, one more question. 128 00:05:28,932 --> 00:05:30,812 Er, I think you know what I'm going to ask. 129 00:05:30,812 --> 00:05:32,492 Er, any chance of another series? 130 00:05:32,492 --> 00:05:36,412 I mean, it was so specific to that moment, wasn't it? 131 00:05:36,412 --> 00:05:38,972 Yeah. It was so about being locked in your house and... 132 00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:40,292 I mean, hopefully we're not 133 00:05:40,292 --> 00:05:42,972 going to go in to another lockdown. Well, exactly. But... 134 00:05:42,972 --> 00:05:45,332 But having said that, if there was a way of doing it... 135 00:05:45,332 --> 00:05:47,412 Yeah. ..for me, it would definitely be a yes. 136 00:05:47,412 --> 00:05:48,612 I mean, it was a joy to do. 137 00:05:48,612 --> 00:05:50,372 It was such good fun, yeah. OK. 138 00:05:50,372 --> 00:05:53,772 So I'm going to take that as a really waffley yes. 139 00:05:53,772 --> 00:05:55,332 Yeah, I suppose so. 140 00:05:55,332 --> 00:05:58,212 It's a great big Welsh waffley yes from me. 141 00:05:58,212 --> 00:06:01,172 Well, on that, here's a clip of some other strange and wonderful things 142 00:06:01,172 --> 00:06:03,292 people have made through all of this. 143 00:06:05,972 --> 00:06:08,132 OK, we're out. This one's a little bit longer, 144 00:06:08,132 --> 00:06:10,532 so I'm just going to nip to the toilet, guys, all right? 145 00:06:10,532 --> 00:06:12,572 Sure. Great stuff. See you in a sec. 146 00:06:13,772 --> 00:06:16,132 I hope you don't think I was 147 00:06:16,132 --> 00:06:19,172 dismissing the Python approach. 148 00:06:19,172 --> 00:06:20,892 Oh, God, no. No, not at all. 149 00:06:20,892 --> 00:06:23,412 Good. Because, I mean, it was so important to me 150 00:06:23,412 --> 00:06:25,532 when I was growing up. I'm such a fan. 151 00:06:27,292 --> 00:06:29,172 I didn't really like Staged. 152 00:06:29,172 --> 00:06:31,292 OK. 153 00:06:31,292 --> 00:06:33,252 I don't really like improvisation. 154 00:06:33,252 --> 00:06:35,772 All these people sort of rolling the comedy dice 155 00:06:35,772 --> 00:06:37,972 and hoping something sticks. 156 00:06:37,972 --> 00:06:39,412 Right. No, I understand. 157 00:06:39,412 --> 00:06:40,772 We worked hard in our day. 158 00:06:41,932 --> 00:06:43,772 Waking up before I went to bed. 159 00:06:43,772 --> 00:06:45,132 Yeah, yeah. 160 00:06:45,132 --> 00:06:46,772 One of Eric's great lines. 161 00:06:46,772 --> 00:06:48,692 Er, I think we... 162 00:06:50,012 --> 00:06:53,012 It's not that we didn't... We worked hard too. 163 00:06:53,012 --> 00:06:54,492 I'm sure you did. 164 00:06:54,492 --> 00:06:57,052 You squatted down, you pushed very hard 165 00:06:57,052 --> 00:06:58,892 and you squeezed something out. 166 00:06:58,892 --> 00:07:01,412 Well, I mean, people do like it. 167 00:07:01,412 --> 00:07:03,252 Fuck you. 168 00:07:03,252 --> 00:07:07,212 Now this well-practised, self-congratulatory back and forth 169 00:07:07,212 --> 00:07:11,092 because people want to celebrate your used toilet paper again. 170 00:07:11,092 --> 00:07:13,292 I'm... I'm a fan of yours. 171 00:07:13,292 --> 00:07:16,172 It was like a 30-minute Celtic reach-around. 172 00:07:16,172 --> 00:07:17,692 Whoa! No, David... 173 00:07:17,692 --> 00:07:19,492 The episodes are only 15 minutes. 174 00:07:20,652 --> 00:07:22,812 All right? Yep. Yep. Fine. 175 00:07:22,812 --> 00:07:24,932 Cool. We've got about another minute. 176 00:07:24,932 --> 00:07:27,852 We'll be ready! Wicked. All right, see you in a sec. 177 00:07:27,852 --> 00:07:29,772 I think you're being a bit unkind, actually. 178 00:07:29,772 --> 00:07:31,492 We made Python 50 years ago. 179 00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:33,612 Yeah, and it's a bit dated. 180 00:07:33,612 --> 00:07:36,012 Oh, David! They still talk about us now. 181 00:07:36,012 --> 00:07:38,532 I know. But they won't talk about you. Why not? 182 00:07:38,532 --> 00:07:39,852 Because you're not funny. 183 00:07:41,092 --> 00:07:43,772 Oh, God. Sorry about that, guys. 184 00:07:43,772 --> 00:07:45,452 David, Michael, all PR aside, 185 00:07:45,452 --> 00:07:48,132 are you going to do a second series, do you reckon? 186 00:07:48,132 --> 00:07:49,972 Unlikely. Wouldn't have thought so. No. 187 00:07:49,972 --> 00:07:51,052 Honestly? Why not? 188 00:07:51,052 --> 00:07:52,692 Well, we're not funny, are we? 189 00:07:53,892 --> 00:07:55,932 That's a shame. 190 00:07:55,932 --> 00:07:57,452 And we're back. 191 00:08:02,012 --> 00:08:03,292 What's going on? 192 00:08:05,492 --> 00:08:07,012 Yeah, I've got a suitcase here. 193 00:08:07,012 --> 00:08:09,172 This is...interesting. 194 00:08:09,172 --> 00:08:11,332 This IS interesting. 195 00:08:11,332 --> 00:08:13,652 But OK, let me just get... 196 00:08:13,652 --> 00:08:16,292 Just so I understand, it's not... We're not talking about 197 00:08:16,292 --> 00:08:18,452 a second series, we're talking about a remake? 198 00:08:18,452 --> 00:08:21,492 For American television. American Staged? 199 00:08:21,492 --> 00:08:24,452 But isn't it a bit...unnecessary? 200 00:08:24,452 --> 00:08:27,052 Why don't they just show the episodes we've already made? 201 00:08:28,292 --> 00:08:30,092 When do we need to decide? 202 00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:31,812 When do they need an answer? 203 00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:33,612 I'm flying to New York tomorrow. 204 00:08:33,612 --> 00:08:36,172 Yeah, I'm literally about to leave for the airport. 205 00:08:41,372 --> 00:08:43,772 I'll need to talk to Michael. I'll need to talk to David. 206 00:08:50,372 --> 00:08:52,572 I have news. Yep, me too. 207 00:08:52,572 --> 00:08:55,012 What's your news? What's your news? 208 00:08:55,012 --> 00:08:57,732 You're not pregnant, are you? What? No! 209 00:08:57,732 --> 00:09:00,052 I mean, it's not an unreasonable question. 210 00:09:00,052 --> 00:09:01,652 What's your news? 211 00:09:01,652 --> 00:09:05,892 They want to do an American remake of Staged. 212 00:09:05,892 --> 00:09:08,172 Oh! What's your news? 213 00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:10,452 The flights to South Africa have been cancelled. 214 00:09:10,452 --> 00:09:12,572 Oh, you're kidding. No. 215 00:09:12,572 --> 00:09:15,732 Oh, cock-a-doodle-bum-tits. Not again! Yeah. 216 00:09:15,732 --> 00:09:17,132 What's the plan? 217 00:09:17,132 --> 00:09:18,852 Er, watch this space. 218 00:09:18,852 --> 00:09:21,212 I fucking hate this space. I know. 219 00:09:22,612 --> 00:09:25,372 I just want to work. I know. 220 00:09:25,372 --> 00:09:27,132 Do you think I'm funny? 221 00:09:28,852 --> 00:09:32,052 I think you do and say funny things. 222 00:09:33,292 --> 00:09:35,012 That is wilfully opaque. 223 00:09:37,252 --> 00:09:39,532 I just wanted to do new things. 224 00:09:40,772 --> 00:09:42,412 Have you spoken to Michael? 225 00:09:44,612 --> 00:09:45,932 No. 226 00:09:47,892 --> 00:09:50,012 All right, so pros and cons. 227 00:09:50,012 --> 00:09:52,532 Yeah, pros - I really want to work. 228 00:09:52,532 --> 00:09:55,532 Con - Michael Palin doesn't think we're funny. 229 00:09:55,532 --> 00:09:57,652 Can we ask another Python? Which one? 230 00:09:57,652 --> 00:09:59,252 Eric Idle? He seems nice. 231 00:09:59,252 --> 00:10:01,732 Michael Palin seemed nice! Yeah. 232 00:10:03,852 --> 00:10:06,252 I like the landscape of America. 233 00:10:06,252 --> 00:10:08,092 Mmm. Me too. 234 00:10:08,092 --> 00:10:10,612 Always really fancied myself in a cowboy film. 235 00:10:10,612 --> 00:10:12,612 Oh-ho-ho, yes. 236 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,732 What would your horse be called? 237 00:10:14,732 --> 00:10:15,892 Sheen. 238 00:10:15,892 --> 00:10:17,692 Aww! 239 00:10:17,692 --> 00:10:19,852 Oh, hey, Anna! Hi, David. 240 00:10:21,452 --> 00:10:23,012 Aren't you supposed to be flying? 241 00:10:23,012 --> 00:10:27,092 Oh, not today. Oh, no. You ready for New York? 242 00:10:27,092 --> 00:10:28,572 Yeah, just packing. But... 243 00:10:29,892 --> 00:10:33,412 ..can you talk to Michael about his legs? 244 00:10:33,412 --> 00:10:35,252 I would love to. 245 00:10:35,252 --> 00:10:36,612 He says they're too chunky. 246 00:10:36,612 --> 00:10:37,692 Chunky! 247 00:10:37,692 --> 00:10:41,412 Mmm. So he refuses to pack shorts. I see. Right. 248 00:10:41,412 --> 00:10:42,572 Do you wear shorts? 249 00:10:42,572 --> 00:10:44,052 Almost exclusively. 250 00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,292 Do you think I'm funny? 251 00:10:47,292 --> 00:10:49,732 What, in shorts? No! 252 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,492 Am I a funny person? 253 00:10:51,492 --> 00:10:53,652 Yeah. 254 00:10:55,772 --> 00:10:57,652 Michael, come on. No. 255 00:10:57,652 --> 00:10:59,452 Wear shorts. No. Why not? 256 00:10:59,452 --> 00:11:01,892 They make my crotch... 257 00:11:04,132 --> 00:11:05,892 ..too free. 258 00:11:09,132 --> 00:11:11,652 Oh, fuck it, shall we just go to America? 259 00:11:11,652 --> 00:11:14,612 Yeah? Yeah. I mean, I do and say funny things, 260 00:11:14,612 --> 00:11:16,892 you have comedically chunky legs. That's enough. 261 00:11:16,892 --> 00:11:18,812 We are funny. Oh, we're fucking hilarious. 262 00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:20,132 Back to work! 263 00:11:20,132 --> 00:11:22,452 America! 264 00:11:22,452 --> 00:11:24,332 America! 265 00:11:24,332 --> 00:11:25,612 Come on, Sheen! 266 00:11:25,612 --> 00:11:27,452 Er, no. Hey, no... 267 00:11:27,452 --> 00:11:30,452 I'm going to ride you all the way to America, boy! 268 00:11:30,452 --> 00:11:32,652 You are not riding me anywhere, matey! 269 00:11:32,652 --> 00:11:34,692 Saddle up, Sheeny! 270 00:11:34,692 --> 00:11:38,132 I have put the last saddle on my back for you, mate. 271 00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:41,412 I love it. We made a thing. Let's go to America and do it again. 272 00:11:41,412 --> 00:11:43,132 Yeah. And do you know what? 273 00:11:43,132 --> 00:11:46,252 One day, we will bump into Michael Palin at some glitzy 274 00:11:46,252 --> 00:11:50,052 fancy-dress party and he will say, "I utterly misjudged you, 275 00:11:50,052 --> 00:11:51,532 "you clown gods." 276 00:11:51,532 --> 00:11:53,892 Yes! We'll be invaluable again! Because you know what? 277 00:11:53,892 --> 00:11:56,572 You and I are masters of our destinies. 278 00:11:56,572 --> 00:11:58,852 Kings of the hills! Tops of the morning! 279 00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:01,892 Docks of the bay! Yes! They're going to fucking love us! 280 00:12:01,892 --> 00:12:03,612 They don't want you. 281 00:12:04,892 --> 00:12:05,972 What? 282 00:12:05,972 --> 00:12:07,412 Either of you. 283 00:12:07,412 --> 00:12:08,732 Right. 284 00:12:08,732 --> 00:12:10,492 Now, they love the show, 285 00:12:10,492 --> 00:12:12,772 but they're going to recast for the American market. 286 00:12:13,892 --> 00:12:16,772 That is, er, bad news. 287 00:12:16,772 --> 00:12:19,132 Oh, I know. When did you know this? 288 00:12:19,132 --> 00:12:20,492 Well, the email just arrived. 289 00:12:21,732 --> 00:12:24,332 S-so who is doing it, then? 290 00:12:24,332 --> 00:12:26,532 Well, it's only rumours. Who? 291 00:12:26,532 --> 00:12:28,212 Colin Firth and Hugh Grant. 292 00:12:28,212 --> 00:12:33,212 Colin Firth and Hugh Grant?! 293 00:12:33,212 --> 00:12:35,572 That's just what I'm hearing. They're not American! 294 00:12:35,572 --> 00:12:37,812 Doesn't matter. They're more British than we are! 295 00:12:37,812 --> 00:12:39,732 Yes, but they're known in America. 296 00:12:39,732 --> 00:12:41,212 I'm known in America! 297 00:12:41,212 --> 00:12:45,052 They're known better. What... What else does the email say? 298 00:12:45,052 --> 00:12:48,692 It says they have a lot of respect for you both, 299 00:12:48,692 --> 00:12:52,372 and they want leads with more US recognition, 300 00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:56,132 and a pair who are more believable as friends. 301 00:12:56,132 --> 00:12:57,692 Sorry?! We are actually friends! 302 00:12:57,692 --> 00:12:59,012 Yes, but nobody's buying it. 303 00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:02,092 And they also want people with more comedic experience. 304 00:13:02,092 --> 00:13:05,532 I'm funny. I know. I mean, Colin Firth is not funny. 305 00:13:05,532 --> 00:13:07,132 I'm fu... Knock, knock. 306 00:13:07,132 --> 00:13:09,052 You're still on as executive producer. 307 00:13:09,052 --> 00:13:10,692 Knock, knock! With Simon. 308 00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:15,252 Simon. Yes, he's still involved! 309 00:13:16,492 --> 00:13:18,292 Doing what?! 310 00:13:18,292 --> 00:13:20,012 Rewrites! 311 00:13:20,012 --> 00:13:22,412 Listen, I didn't think you were in a rush to get back to work. 312 00:13:22,412 --> 00:13:26,332 I'm not! It's just David got me all excited about this. 313 00:13:27,572 --> 00:13:29,572 I thought you were David. 314 00:13:29,572 --> 00:13:31,092 No, I'm Michael. 315 00:13:36,572 --> 00:13:39,132 Hugh Grant. 316 00:13:40,212 --> 00:13:41,772 OK, choose a card. 317 00:13:41,772 --> 00:13:45,092 People don't think we're believable as friends! I know. I heard. 318 00:13:45,092 --> 00:13:47,772 The Palin thing hurt, but that is a gut punch. 319 00:13:47,772 --> 00:13:50,292 Why... Why is that? I suppose they've only ever heard us 320 00:13:50,292 --> 00:13:52,252 speak other people's lines, haven't they? 321 00:13:52,252 --> 00:13:54,772 Anna keeps telling me I'm dropping into character. 322 00:13:54,772 --> 00:13:58,412 Yes! Georgia says exactly the same to me about me! 323 00:13:58,412 --> 00:14:01,212 Right, yeah. I keep having to say to her... That's who I am! 324 00:14:01,212 --> 00:14:03,092 That's me! Exactly! I can't be anything else! 325 00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,892 You can't say I'm dropping into character when I'm the character! 326 00:14:05,892 --> 00:14:08,292 Say something now. Say something that's authentically you. 327 00:14:13,132 --> 00:14:15,532 My flights to New York are cancelled. 328 00:14:15,532 --> 00:14:17,372 Oh, the world starts, the world stops. 329 00:14:17,372 --> 00:14:18,972 It's arbitrary, isn't it? 330 00:14:18,972 --> 00:14:23,852 "As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods." 331 00:14:23,852 --> 00:14:26,372 Can we not? Quite right. OK. 332 00:14:26,372 --> 00:14:28,012 Yeah, got it? 333 00:14:28,012 --> 00:14:29,932 OK, hold it up. I don't want to see it, 334 00:14:29,932 --> 00:14:31,972 but hold it up, back facing to me. 335 00:14:38,492 --> 00:14:40,852 We're going to be like this for a while yet, aren't we? 336 00:14:40,852 --> 00:14:43,332 How do you mean? Staring at a screen. 337 00:14:44,812 --> 00:14:47,332 Hoping for a miracle. Oh, yeah. 338 00:14:47,332 --> 00:14:48,772 Maybe we could start a magic act. 339 00:14:49,892 --> 00:14:54,372 The amazing Michael Sheen and the Scottish David Tennant. 340 00:14:54,372 --> 00:14:56,212 Three of diamonds. No. 341 00:14:56,212 --> 00:14:57,852 Fuck. Four of diamonds. 342 00:14:57,852 --> 00:14:59,892 That was close - it was the two of diamonds. 343 00:14:59,892 --> 00:15:02,052 Oh, you see? I was so close! 344 00:15:02,052 --> 00:15:04,652 Close enough for jazz. Not close enough for magic.