1
00:00:01,752 --> 00:00:03,522
- when you walk
through the front door,
2
00:00:03,546 --> 00:00:05,754
you're hit with unopened boxes,
3
00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:06,840
things I bought.
4
00:00:09,552 --> 00:00:11,301
The kitchen was de-hoarded once,
5
00:00:11,387 --> 00:00:15,597
but give me five days and I
can hoard it up real quick.
6
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:20,978
- I am not
convinced at this point
7
00:00:21,063 --> 00:00:24,481
that he will even let
go of 5% of his stuff.
8
00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:28,714
- that's a
thousand dollar couch.
9
00:00:28,738 --> 00:00:29,840
What is that doing in there?
10
00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:31,024
- I have no idea.
11
00:00:31,073 --> 00:00:32,509
- I mean, I
realize it's a big job,
12
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:33,991
but that is unacceptable.
13
00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:37,745
- I walk up the driveway and
I'm ready to start the day.
14
00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:38,912
And pow!
15
00:00:38,998 --> 00:00:40,330
- If I was you,
16
00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:42,458
I would resign my
position right now.
17
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:44,084
- I'm not convinced at this part
18
00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:48,964
that he has the mental
capacity to do this.
19
00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:51,467
- I just don't want to even
talk to y'all right now.
20
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:54,032
- that's why we're here
is to help you change that.
21
00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:56,138
- Well, I'm not
feeling any change.
22
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:57,848
No hope in change here.
23
00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:40,808
I'm eric.
24
00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:42,392
I'm a retired journalist,
25
00:01:42,478 --> 00:01:45,229
flight attendant,
electronic technician.
26
00:01:46,941 --> 00:01:49,316
When you drive out to my house,
27
00:01:50,528 --> 00:01:54,238
you see things are sort
of a chaotic condition.
28
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:57,825
The porch is filled with stuff
29
00:01:57,910 --> 00:01:59,805
that doesn't need
to be filled with.
30
00:01:59,829 --> 00:02:02,955
It's covered up with a
tarp, which is unsightly.
31
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,457
It just means I'm
hiding something
32
00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:06,959
that I don't want you to see.
33
00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:11,900
When you walk through
the front door,
34
00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:14,925
you're hit with unopened
boxes of things I bought
35
00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:16,426
that I haven't even opened yet.
36
00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:24,017
You're just seeing things
that are just misplaced.
37
00:02:24,103 --> 00:02:26,186
It was just a very
helter skelter,
38
00:02:26,272 --> 00:02:28,730
higgly piggly look
to everything.
39
00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:30,274
It's just all junked up.
40
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,599
Like when you go up the stairs,
41
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:37,114
you just see the
shoes tumbling down.
42
00:02:38,701 --> 00:02:40,367
Get to the top of the stairs.
43
00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:42,411
To the left is the library.
44
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:43,954
It's filled with boxes.
45
00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:48,792
I can't get even to the books
that I collected or hoarded.
46
00:02:48,878 --> 00:02:51,837
There's boxes there
that block the way
47
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:53,630
to go in into the library.
48
00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:56,133
You go into the bedroom,
49
00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:58,302
you can't hardly
enter into there
50
00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:01,263
because it's piled up
with mounds of clothes.
51
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:05,184
There's just a little rabbit
trail from the door to my bed.
52
00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:08,645
You can't lie in the bed
because it's got clothes in it.
53
00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:13,692
It's got boxes on
top of the mattress.
54
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:15,319
You get into the kitchen.
55
00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:17,321
The kitchen was de-hoarded once,
56
00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:22,201
but give me five days and I
can hoard it up real quick.
57
00:03:24,747 --> 00:03:27,206
I'm a master hoarder,
so I know how to hoard.
58
00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:44,514
- I'm marcus.
59
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:45,891
I'm eric's older brother.
60
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:49,519
Eric started going
to thrift stores
61
00:03:49,605 --> 00:03:51,666
and he wouldn't by just
a couple of shirts.
62
00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:54,858
He'd buy a big garbage
bag full of clothes,
63
00:03:54,944 --> 00:03:58,570
and shoes, anything he
thought was a good deal.
64
00:03:58,656 --> 00:04:01,490
And it went from thrift
stores to whatever was online
65
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,033
that was a good deal.
66
00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:05,535
He just couldn't seem to
turn down a good deal.
67
00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:09,498
He had a big attic
area he filled up
68
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:12,209
and the storage barn
in the backyard,
69
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:13,294
he filled that up.
70
00:04:14,505 --> 00:04:15,629
I never really thought
71
00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:17,317
it would spill out of
these storage areas
72
00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:19,383
into the house proper,
73
00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:20,468
and it did.
74
00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:25,806
I don't want him to get in
such a bind that, you know,
75
00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:27,971
lose his house would
be the worst thing.
76
00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:31,436
I confronted him about it at
one point and he got furious.
77
00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:32,813
Told me to mind my own business.
78
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,167
He said, "well,
this is my house.
79
00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:35,399
I can do what I want."
80
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:37,943
- I'm kerry.
81
00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:39,361
I'm eric's younger brother.
82
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:43,740
I'd say on a scale of one
to 10, eric's a 9.9 hoarder.
83
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,201
I love my brother.
84
00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:47,869
I want to see him do well.
85
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:50,247
I want the best for him.
86
00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:53,083
I'd just like to see him
get his life in order,
87
00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:55,294
try to put the
pieces back together.
88
00:04:55,379 --> 00:04:57,921
I know he's been through
a lot, a lot of trauma.
89
00:04:58,007 --> 00:05:00,424
I'm sure that's affected
him in a lot of ways.
90
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,440
- I was starting to
suffer from insomnia
91
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:19,151
so I couldn't sleep.
92
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:20,986
And I couldn't really read
93
00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:26,116
'cause I would sort of fall
into some semi-zombie state.
94
00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:29,014
Once I laid down, my
body wouldn't sleep.
95
00:05:29,038 --> 00:05:33,248
So I would spend five to
six hours a day online,
96
00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:36,335
shopping, looking
for things to buy.
97
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:40,172
It just became a habit of mine
to see what was out there.
98
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,307
Szilvie was my
wife for 30 years.
99
00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:52,495
She did have a little
different upbringing.
100
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,019
She was european.
101
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:55,479
She came from hungary.
102
00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:59,066
In fact, she was a
world war ii refugee
103
00:05:59,151 --> 00:06:01,401
because her country
had to flee hungary
104
00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:03,862
when the russians came,
the soviets came in.
105
00:06:05,074 --> 00:06:07,324
She was the love of my life.
106
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:10,617
- Yeah, szilvie was
a wonderful woman.
107
00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:13,455
They were, to me,
108
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:19,503
they were pretty conflicting
personalities from the get-go,
109
00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:24,007
but they loved each other
and they made it work.
110
00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:27,928
- I'm lori.
111
00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:31,181
I'm eric sister-in-law and I'm
married to his brother kerry.
112
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:36,520
Szilvie was so exciting
and interesting to talk to.
113
00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:39,106
She knew everything
about everything.
114
00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:41,983
I could literally ask
her about anything
115
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:45,737
and she would give me specifics
about what I needed to know.
116
00:06:45,823 --> 00:06:48,949
So, she was really
just super friendly.
117
00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:50,154
Whenever I made dinners
118
00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:51,971
'cause I did a lot
of our family dinners
119
00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:53,328
and they would come to us,
120
00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:55,163
she always sent me a note.
121
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:58,458
Always very proper, very proper.
122
00:06:58,544 --> 00:06:59,960
And always looked beautiful.
123
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:02,421
She always looked beautiful.
124
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,299
- Szilvie worked as
a interior decorator
125
00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:08,802
while she was a flight
attendant as well.
126
00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:12,514
She had her own interior
decorating business for a while.
127
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,099
When she walked into this house,
128
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:16,309
we had looked at other houses.
129
00:07:16,395 --> 00:07:18,520
I didn't really
think much of it,
130
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:19,666
but she said this is the one.
131
00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:21,231
From the moment we bought it,
132
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:24,734
she began to attack
it, and shape it,
133
00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:26,153
and conform it to her image
134
00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:28,530
of what the house
should look like.
135
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:29,865
People would walk in the house
136
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,992
and their eyes
would wander around.
137
00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:35,370
You could see they
were really taken back
138
00:07:35,456 --> 00:07:36,788
by what she had done.
139
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:39,583
- I'm rita.
140
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:42,127
Szilvie's my best
friend for 48 years.
141
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,921
We were going to flight
attendant school when we met.
142
00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:46,631
Oh, she was lovely.
143
00:07:46,717 --> 00:07:48,049
We have the same background.
144
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,593
We're both hungarian.
145
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:51,803
Our parents are
hungarians from budapest
146
00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:54,931
and we just became fast friends.
147
00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:57,377
The first time that I went
to szilvie and eric's house,
148
00:07:57,436 --> 00:07:58,685
it was beautiful.
149
00:07:58,729 --> 00:08:01,771
She had her paintings up,
and beautiful artwork,
150
00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:04,399
and it was decorated lovely.
151
00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:06,026
It was very important for her.
152
00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:08,403
She loved to have
a beautiful home.
153
00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:10,489
That was her place of solace,
154
00:08:10,574 --> 00:08:13,074
and a place where she
could come home and relax,
155
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,327
and have a good life.
156
00:08:17,289 --> 00:08:20,081
- I think szilvie provided
some balance there
157
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,416
in their relationship.
158
00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:25,170
It kept him from hoarding
the way he wanted to.
159
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:28,215
I didn't really understand
160
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,967
that he had a bad
hoarding problem.
161
00:08:31,053 --> 00:08:32,677
Their house was immaculate.
162
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,331
- szilvie would tell
me from time to time
163
00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:44,814
that it was getting out of hand.
164
00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:47,609
He had his own space
where he had his things
165
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:50,153
and they seemed to accumulate.
166
00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:51,508
And she would keep on top of it
167
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:55,242
and try and get rid of
some of eric's belongings
168
00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:57,577
that started to stack up.
169
00:08:57,663 --> 00:08:59,599
- Szilvie would
just mention to me
170
00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:02,207
that it upset her that her
house was looking like that
171
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:04,687
because there wasn't anything
that she could do about it.
172
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:07,504
And she was upset with
eric about hoarding.
173
00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:16,846
- just over time, the
curvature worsened
174
00:09:16,932 --> 00:09:21,518
and began to contribute
to other things,
175
00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:25,021
a herniated disk, lots of pain.
176
00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:29,234
2013, I had corrective
surgery for the scoliosis
177
00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:32,612
where they went in and put
titanium rods and screws
178
00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:36,283
and turned me into a
sort of a robo man.
179
00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:38,535
- He's got two titanium
rods in his spine
180
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:41,871
and it severely
limits his mobility.
181
00:09:41,957 --> 00:09:46,001
That's one reason the house
is in the shape it's in now.
182
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,461
Once he brings things in,
183
00:09:48,547 --> 00:09:51,089
he doesn't really
have the energy
184
00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:54,467
or the capability of
organizing things.
185
00:09:54,553 --> 00:09:56,261
So it just tends to pile up.
186
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:07,355
- she had a very
rare form of cancer,
187
00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:09,065
a tumor on her spine.
188
00:10:09,151 --> 00:10:13,069
And she had five
subsequent surgeries.
189
00:10:13,155 --> 00:10:15,133
- Eventually, the
surgeries caused her
190
00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:17,866
to lose the ability to walk.
191
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,744
You know, you can
only remove tumors
192
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:23,913
from a spinal cord so much.
193
00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:27,542
And eventually, the damage
begins to reveal itself.
194
00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:28,855
- Szilvie and I were very close.
195
00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:31,921
We spoke just about every
day on the telephone
196
00:10:32,007 --> 00:10:36,217
and she was very concerned
once she was not able to walk.
197
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,637
She wasn't able to
keep the hoarding
198
00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:40,764
from getting worse and worse.
199
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:44,893
She was confined to one
room in a hospital bed.
200
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,562
Eric was then able to
bring in more things
201
00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:50,440
because she wouldn't
see what was going on.
202
00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:55,570
- Szilvie was heartbroken
with his hoarding.
203
00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:59,240
It really, it broke her
heart because like I said,
204
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:03,328
she really worked hard to
make that house a showboat.
205
00:11:04,206 --> 00:11:05,622
And it was, it was showboat.
206
00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:11,878
- I felt a great deal
of anger towards myself
207
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:16,466
and shame that I
had allowed myself
208
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:21,513
to fall into this kind
of condition of hoarding.
209
00:11:24,059 --> 00:11:26,101
And especially in
regards to szilvie
210
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,478
that I caused her anxiety.
211
00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:30,897
I just felt terrible
212
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:34,359
that she would have
to experience that.
213
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:37,487
I stressed her out over
things that didn't need to be.
214
00:11:46,748 --> 00:11:48,832
- szilvie's death was very hard.
215
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,917
We'd been friends for 48 years,
216
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:52,162
so it was very difficult.
217
00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:56,464
You know, we had time
to get used to the fact
218
00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:58,633
that she wasn't gonna make it,
219
00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:03,012
especially when the cancer
metastasized to her lungs.
220
00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:04,098
It was hard.
221
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:05,725
- Hey, beautiful.
222
00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:06,911
- it was hard on her friends.
223
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:07,809
It was hard on eric.
224
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:08,977
- I miss you.
225
00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:11,855
- But in eric's defense,
he was wonderful.
226
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:15,525
He took care of her and
he really loved szilvie.
227
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:26,244
- Szilvie was a marvelous,
wonderful person.
228
00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:29,414
She always cared about others.
229
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:31,332
She loved me
230
00:12:34,129 --> 00:12:36,546
in spite of who I was,
231
00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:42,177
in spite of what I did.
232
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,762
She would just be happy that,
233
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:49,100
that things would
get back to normal.
234
00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:55,106
If she could be, she
would be very pleased.
235
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,070
That's my hope, my dream.
236
00:13:22,928 --> 00:13:24,655
- if he doesn't get
this cleaned up,
237
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:27,472
I'm worried about
his mental health
238
00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:29,476
getting a grasp
on the situation.
239
00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:32,246
I'm worried about
his physical health
240
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:34,979
'cause I know there is a
lot of filth in the house.
241
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:39,442
- I feel like I'm drowning,
242
00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:43,988
like I can't breathe because
it's taking away my oxygen.
243
00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:47,158
It takes away from
my quality of life.
244
00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:51,955
I just feel like I'm chained
and enslaved to this.
245
00:14:03,218 --> 00:14:04,695
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
246
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:07,178
How are you doing?
- Hi, eric. I'm dr. Zasio.
247
00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:08,304
I'm dr. Robin zasio.
248
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,348
I'm a licensed
clinical psychologist
249
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:12,161
and I specialize
in helping people
250
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,913
struggling with
anxiety disorders,
251
00:14:13,937 --> 00:14:16,354
which includes
hoarding behaviors.
252
00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:17,605
All right.
253
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,710
So, I pretty much knew I
was in the right place
254
00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:23,069
when I drove up because I see
a lot of stuff on your porch.
255
00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:24,529
I'm curious.
256
00:14:24,573 --> 00:14:27,198
You have a wheelchair
on your porch.
257
00:14:27,284 --> 00:14:28,302
- yes, ma'am.
258
00:14:28,326 --> 00:14:29,075
Yes, ma'am.
259
00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:29,826
- what's that for?
260
00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:31,035
- That was my wife's.
261
00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:34,706
She was paralyzed
from the waist down.
262
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,249
- What happened?
263
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:39,377
- She had a very rare
cancer called ependymomas.
264
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:42,463
They were tumors that
grew on her spinal cord
265
00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,883
and eventually they
metastasized to her lungs
266
00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:48,595
and that's what caused
her to pass away.
267
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,763
- And how long ago was this?
268
00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:53,224
- She passed away a
year and a half ago.
269
00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:54,350
- Okay.
270
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,372
And so you were her
primary caregiver?
271
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:57,832
- Yes.
- Okay.
272
00:14:57,856 --> 00:15:01,316
It was very, very painful
from the onset of her illness
273
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:05,236
to the very end to see the
changes in her functioning,
274
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:08,031
the difficulty that she
was having with pain.
275
00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:11,242
I can tell it was
very, very difficult
276
00:15:11,286 --> 00:15:13,369
and painful for him as well.
277
00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:18,750
I'm curious how much the
grief and loss over your wife
278
00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:22,211
has contributed to
you acquiring stuff?
279
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:25,465
- Well, I would say
psychologically,
280
00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:30,553
it probably was some kind
of way I mitigated my grief.
281
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:31,971
- Mmm-hmm.
282
00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:34,557
She was sorta my
bond to reality.
283
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:38,269
She was an anchor
to my wayward ways
284
00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:41,272
as far as things I would buy.
285
00:15:41,316 --> 00:15:42,516
She said we don't need that,
286
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:43,733
we don't need that.
287
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:48,071
And she always kept me in check.
288
00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:49,322
Without her here is just,
289
00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:53,618
it's just harder to make
those kind of decisions.
290
00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:55,370
I don't need this.
291
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:58,957
My mind, it just is
splintered right now.
292
00:15:59,042 --> 00:16:01,125
It's just,
293
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:06,589
I don't know how to really
accept her being gone.
294
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:10,635
And so I think I
clutter up my house
295
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:15,765
and my life just to
assuage my emotions.
296
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:21,771
- So how is the stuff
filling the void
297
00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:23,106
of the loss of your wife?
298
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:24,440
- Oh, it doesn't.
299
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,234
It doesn't fill the void
300
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,485
that she left.
301
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:33,116
I can say it's like
a temporary fix.
302
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:34,826
It's not a very good one.
303
00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:37,120
- All right, eric.
304
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:38,349
Well, we have a
lot to talk about,
305
00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:39,767
but I'd like to see
the rest of the house
306
00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:41,249
if that's okay with you.
307
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,417
- Let's.
308
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,293
- let's not?
309
00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:46,254
All right.
310
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,171
- Go ahead.
- I'll follow you.
311
00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:47,964
- Oh, follow me.
312
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:49,549
Okay.
313
00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:50,341
- All right.
314
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:51,175
Oh, who's this?!
315
00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:52,010
- This is eli.
316
00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:53,011
- Hi, eli!
317
00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:54,345
Oh, he's a friendly one.
318
00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:55,658
- Yeah, he's the
big watch dog here.
319
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,056
- Loves his daddy.
320
00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:58,307
Are we good?
321
00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,517
Does he approve of me?
322
00:16:59,561 --> 00:17:00,351
- He hasn't bitten you yet,
323
00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:02,812
so I think you're good to go.
324
00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:04,689
- Okay.
325
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:06,482
So.
326
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,129
- beautiful home, isn't it?
327
00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:09,610
- Beautiful home.
328
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:14,323
That's the first thing that I
notice interestingly enough,
329
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,659
in the midst of
all of your stuff.
330
00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:17,869
So I'm curious.
331
00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:20,705
You've got some beautiful
furniture in here.
332
00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:22,165
- Yeah.
333
00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:25,543
- Is that a talent of yours
to go out antique shopping?
334
00:17:25,587 --> 00:17:26,878
- That was my wife's talent.
335
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,546
She was an interior decorator.
336
00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:29,734
- Really?
- Yeah.
337
00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:33,384
And this is all a
testimony to her skill
338
00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:36,929
and her artistic eye, - mmm-hmm.
339
00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:40,391
Which I've managed
to sully quite a bit.
340
00:17:40,477 --> 00:17:43,895
- It's interesting
that all of this stuff
341
00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:48,357
is covering up the beauty of
what your wife brought in.
342
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,526
- That's the tragedy
of it, isn't it?
343
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,570
- Talk to me about that.
344
00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:54,216
- I don't know if I'm
really trying to hide it
345
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,908
or I'm just...
346
00:17:56,951 --> 00:18:01,788
I'm just lost in my
own thoughts about her.
347
00:18:01,873 --> 00:18:04,040
And it's like,
348
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:07,126
I've reached the edge
of the cliff in my life.
349
00:18:07,212 --> 00:18:09,420
I was going on this
journey with her,
350
00:18:09,464 --> 00:18:11,714
and now she's gone, and
I'm like looking around.
351
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:15,426
And it's like, I
don't have my szilvie.
352
00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:20,556
That's, that's what I,
353
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:23,935
I just miss my szilvie.
354
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:26,687
- In eric's case, I believe
that he's depressed,
355
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,106
he's grieving,
356
00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:32,360
and with getting his home
in order if we can do that,
357
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:35,446
it's going to leave a
lot of emotional space
358
00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:37,907
for him to start having to face
359
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:40,451
the loss and grief of his wife.
360
00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,872
- This was my wife's
room where she slept.
361
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:48,126
That's her bed that's
covered up with everything.
362
00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:50,419
So this is where she spent
363
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:54,882
the last two and a
half years of her life.
364
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:56,467
This is a picture of her.
365
00:19:00,014 --> 00:19:02,056
That's szilvie and
a friend of hers.
366
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:03,432
- she's beautiful.
367
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:04,745
- She was.
- Yeah.
368
00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:06,978
- A beautiful soul.
- Yeah.
369
00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:09,605
- A wonderful spirit.
- You just look at her
370
00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:13,317
and that spirit and
energy comes out.
371
00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:14,986
- Yes, it does, doesn't it?
372
00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:15,736
- Yeah.
373
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,155
- She attracted people.
374
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,322
She was a magnet to,
375
00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:23,411
just the way she handled
herself and handled people.
376
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:25,621
- And you've got her
right by your bedside.
377
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,498
I'm assuming this is your bed.
378
00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:30,668
- Yeah, this is where
I sleep and eli.
379
00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:33,171
Yeah.
380
00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:35,965
- So, I'd like to
see more of the house
381
00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,509
'cause I don't think
this is the worst part.
382
00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:40,395
- Go this way.
- All right.
383
00:19:42,724 --> 00:19:44,682
- This is the master bedroom
384
00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:46,934
of which I'm no
longer a master of.
385
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:55,151
- tell me why there
are so many clothes.
386
00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:58,696
Is this your stuff and
szilvie's or just yours?
387
00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:00,021
- no, this is all mine.
388
00:20:00,074 --> 00:20:01,574
- It's all yours.
389
00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:04,493
Lots of dollars in here.
390
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:07,455
- Oh yeah, that's the sad thing.
391
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:08,831
I don't know.
392
00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:11,187
Buying clothes had some
kind of fascination for me
393
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:15,504
'cause when I started going
online and looking at clothes,
394
00:20:15,590 --> 00:20:17,234
I always say, oh,
there's a good deal.
395
00:20:17,258 --> 00:20:18,132
There's a good deal.
396
00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:19,904
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- And sort of,
397
00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:20,988
instead of being selective,
398
00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:24,555
I just clicked on
everything I wanted.
399
00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:27,308
- What has all this stuff
done to you financially?
400
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:30,561
- I've spent a lot of money
that I didn't need to.
401
00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:35,066
And it's shameful,
it's humiliating.
402
00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:38,444
And it's just one
of those things
403
00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:40,613
I can't wrap my mind around why.
404
00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:42,323
I didn't used to be this way.
405
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:45,201
I didn't used to want to
fill my house up with stuff,
406
00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:49,705
but something happened
along the way.
407
00:20:49,791 --> 00:20:53,501
- I was really struck
by eric's tendency
408
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:58,547
to beat himself up over
bringing in all the stuff.
409
00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:00,591
He was really hard on himself
410
00:21:00,635 --> 00:21:03,386
and didn't have
any self-compassion
411
00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:07,265
for what he's been
through with szilvie.
412
00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:10,142
And so one of the things that's
gonna be really important
413
00:21:10,228 --> 00:21:14,772
is that I work with him on
being able to be kind to himself
414
00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:17,942
because if he's just gonna
put judgment on himself,
415
00:21:17,986 --> 00:21:20,903
that's gonna be a big
barrier to letting go.
416
00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:41,110
- I think eric's
made up his mind
417
00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:42,800
to have the house cleaned up.
418
00:21:42,844 --> 00:21:47,805
I'm not so sure how smooth
the process that's gonna be.
419
00:21:49,017 --> 00:21:50,202
He knows he has a
hoarding problem.
420
00:21:50,226 --> 00:21:52,393
Now, that was a big
admission right there.
421
00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:55,771
I think he's going to
cooperate for the most part,
422
00:21:55,857 --> 00:21:57,982
but still have to
see how it goes.
423
00:22:23,926 --> 00:22:26,302
- Good morning everybody.
- Good morning.
424
00:22:26,387 --> 00:22:27,219
- I'm dorothy breininger,
425
00:22:27,305 --> 00:22:29,138
professional organizing expert,
426
00:22:29,182 --> 00:22:31,098
and I specialize in hoarding.
427
00:22:31,184 --> 00:22:32,558
Good to see you.
428
00:22:32,643 --> 00:22:36,020
There are 18 of us here
today for a very good reason.
429
00:22:36,064 --> 00:22:38,522
This is about honoring szilvie.
430
00:22:38,566 --> 00:22:39,690
- Yes, yes.
431
00:22:39,776 --> 00:22:43,152
- And reclaiming your
life, what you want.
432
00:22:43,196 --> 00:22:45,821
And that all starts
with the stuff
433
00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:47,531
and then goes through the doctor
434
00:22:47,617 --> 00:22:49,720
because we've got to not
just declutter the house,
435
00:22:49,744 --> 00:22:51,847
but maybe what's in
your head a little bit.
436
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:53,724
- Oh, that's a
difficult job to do,
437
00:22:53,748 --> 00:22:54,748
to hoard.
438
00:22:54,832 --> 00:22:56,477
That's been collecting
for some time.
439
00:22:56,501 --> 00:22:58,542
- What's unusual
about this hoard
440
00:22:58,586 --> 00:23:00,669
is that there are
no mice scrambling.
441
00:23:00,755 --> 00:23:03,547
There are no roaches
running everywhere.
442
00:23:03,633 --> 00:23:05,674
The house isn't deteriorating.
443
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:09,678
But what is happening is
eric's heart is breaking
444
00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:11,722
and it's breaking
into little pieces
445
00:23:11,766 --> 00:23:15,059
in every single
room of this house.
446
00:23:15,103 --> 00:23:16,852
So I'd like to welcome rita.
447
00:23:16,938 --> 00:23:20,731
You are szilvie's friend
for over 40 years.
448
00:23:20,775 --> 00:23:22,566
And lori and kerry.
449
00:23:22,610 --> 00:23:23,526
Thank you.
450
00:23:23,611 --> 00:23:25,194
Sister-in-law, brother.
451
00:23:25,279 --> 00:23:27,091
And of course,
marcus, thank you.
452
00:23:27,115 --> 00:23:30,825
I've got steri-clean here
for strong moving of things
453
00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:33,369
and my organizing team
to get things sorted
454
00:23:33,413 --> 00:23:35,371
and perhaps even ready to sell
455
00:23:35,456 --> 00:23:37,142
if that's something
that you want to do.
456
00:23:37,166 --> 00:23:38,082
- Yeah, I guess.
457
00:23:38,126 --> 00:23:39,250
- Okay?
458
00:23:39,293 --> 00:23:40,251
Doctor, why don't you
take it from here?
459
00:23:40,294 --> 00:23:41,627
- short list.
460
00:23:41,712 --> 00:23:45,214
- So clearly, you have
invited us onto your property,
461
00:23:45,299 --> 00:23:50,261
but I want to know how you
feel about what's to come.
462
00:23:51,514 --> 00:23:52,514
- How I feel?
463
00:23:53,474 --> 00:23:55,766
Like a volcano's getting
ready to blow up, so.
464
00:23:55,810 --> 00:23:58,102
- So when you talk
about a volcano,
465
00:23:58,187 --> 00:24:01,272
is it because the house
with all the stuff in it
466
00:24:01,315 --> 00:24:03,168
is gonna explode?
- Feeling an earthquake.
467
00:24:03,192 --> 00:24:05,254
- Or is it because
we need to anticipate
468
00:24:05,278 --> 00:24:07,778
that eric is gonna
be the volcano?
469
00:24:09,031 --> 00:24:10,364
- Well, I may not look like it,
470
00:24:10,450 --> 00:24:12,950
but I'm a very emotionally
fragile person.
471
00:24:13,035 --> 00:24:16,120
I need to get inside with
my feminine side here, so.
472
00:24:16,205 --> 00:24:17,705
- From my perspective,
473
00:24:17,790 --> 00:24:20,875
I think you use a lot
of humor to deflect.
474
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:24,837
And in the first few
hours that I met you,
475
00:24:24,922 --> 00:24:26,172
I picked up,
476
00:24:26,215 --> 00:24:28,466
and I may be wrong, but
this is my impression,
477
00:24:28,509 --> 00:24:30,634
that there is a
fragility about you.
478
00:24:30,678 --> 00:24:31,343
- Yeah.
479
00:24:31,429 --> 00:24:33,929
- And that this stuff
480
00:24:34,015 --> 00:24:36,807
has been covering up
a lot of your pain.
481
00:24:36,851 --> 00:24:41,228
So, I'm gonna be the one
that's gonna keep it real
482
00:24:41,314 --> 00:24:45,191
and help you to deal
with what has happened
483
00:24:45,276 --> 00:24:47,276
because it's not
about the stuff.
484
00:24:47,361 --> 00:24:49,006
It's about what's
led to the stuff.
485
00:24:49,030 --> 00:24:50,321
- Treasures.
486
00:24:50,406 --> 00:24:51,446
- To your treasures.
487
00:24:53,201 --> 00:24:56,452
So with that.
- Thank you. Dr. Zasio.
488
00:24:56,496 --> 00:24:57,890
- Dorothy?
- Yeah.
489
00:24:57,914 --> 00:25:00,331
So let's just do a quick
what's happening today, okay?
490
00:25:00,416 --> 00:25:02,394
We're going to start
in the living room,
491
00:25:02,418 --> 00:25:04,396
move to the kitchen,
the dining room.
492
00:25:04,420 --> 00:25:08,005
Organizers, you're gonna
put everything out on tarps.
493
00:25:08,049 --> 00:25:10,633
We're gonna do a lot of
sorting outside as well
494
00:25:10,676 --> 00:25:13,844
from all the treasures
coming from inside.
495
00:25:13,888 --> 00:25:16,805
Plus, we've got a lot
of decisions to make.
496
00:25:16,891 --> 00:25:18,307
Selling it, keeping it.
497
00:25:18,392 --> 00:25:20,370
I know there's a lot
of brand new things
498
00:25:20,394 --> 00:25:22,019
that are inside the house.
499
00:25:22,063 --> 00:25:23,437
All right, let's set our timers
500
00:25:23,523 --> 00:25:25,709
and see how quickly we can
deal with that living room.
501
00:25:25,733 --> 00:25:26,733
Let's go.
502
00:25:45,753 --> 00:25:50,089
- let's just kind of try to
do a little test run here.
503
00:25:50,174 --> 00:25:51,048
- Test run?
504
00:25:51,092 --> 00:25:52,174
- Yeah.
505
00:25:52,260 --> 00:25:53,403
- I guess it's the
moment of truth.
506
00:25:53,427 --> 00:25:54,571
- It's a moment of truth.
- Yeah.
507
00:25:54,595 --> 00:25:56,387
- So let's start up there.
508
00:25:57,848 --> 00:25:59,568
- Welcome.
- Thank you.
509
00:26:00,601 --> 00:26:02,704
- Well, that's that was
something szilvie picked out.
510
00:26:02,728 --> 00:26:04,061
If I recognize it as szilvie,
511
00:26:04,146 --> 00:26:06,397
it's hard for me to say sayonara
512
00:26:06,482 --> 00:26:08,732
to something of
szilvie's collection.
513
00:26:08,776 --> 00:26:09,900
- Okay.
514
00:26:09,944 --> 00:26:12,194
Now, let's talk about
this led desk lamp
515
00:26:12,238 --> 00:26:14,572
that I know is not szilvie's.
516
00:26:16,534 --> 00:26:17,366
- It's brand new.
517
00:26:17,410 --> 00:26:18,595
I was gonna put that on my desk.
518
00:26:18,619 --> 00:26:22,371
- So how about the
little item on the end,
519
00:26:22,456 --> 00:26:24,039
the little glass figurine?
520
00:26:24,083 --> 00:26:24,915
- Yeah, someone gave that to her
521
00:26:24,959 --> 00:26:26,750
when she was in the hospital.
522
00:26:26,794 --> 00:26:27,918
- Okay.
523
00:26:27,962 --> 00:26:29,231
Well right now, you're
naming everything.
524
00:26:29,255 --> 00:26:31,213
It's szilvie's stuff.
525
00:26:31,257 --> 00:26:32,590
- I'm just going across.
526
00:26:33,801 --> 00:26:34,881
How about the rabbit?
527
00:26:35,845 --> 00:26:37,072
- well, that's szilvie's stuff.
528
00:26:37,096 --> 00:26:38,262
- How about the balls?
529
00:26:38,347 --> 00:26:39,555
- That's szilvie's.
530
00:26:39,599 --> 00:26:40,909
- how about the fake orchid?
531
00:26:40,933 --> 00:26:42,327
- what about the
vase that it goes with?
532
00:26:42,351 --> 00:26:44,311
- is that sterling silver?
533
00:26:45,271 --> 00:26:46,957
- Silver plated.
- Silver plated?
534
00:26:46,981 --> 00:26:48,667
- get rid of it.
It's not worth anything.
535
00:26:48,691 --> 00:26:49,876
- do we keep
silver plated stuff?
536
00:26:49,900 --> 00:26:51,962
- I dunno, you're gonna
have to polish it.
537
00:26:51,986 --> 00:26:52,776
- Okay.
538
00:26:52,862 --> 00:26:54,236
Humidifier?
539
00:26:54,322 --> 00:26:55,966
- yeah, well
I need a humidifier.
540
00:26:55,990 --> 00:26:57,634
- how long have
you had that humidifier?
541
00:26:57,658 --> 00:26:58,490
- I have no idea.
542
00:26:58,576 --> 00:26:59,856
Does it have the receipt on it?
543
00:27:00,995 --> 00:27:02,431
- no. So you
don't know how long?
544
00:27:02,455 --> 00:27:03,765
- I get it 'cause I
get bronchitis
545
00:27:03,789 --> 00:27:05,581
on a very regular basis,
546
00:27:05,625 --> 00:27:07,916
so, you know, you have
to have a humidifier
547
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,586
in every room to get the effect.
548
00:27:10,671 --> 00:27:12,608
- Well, you clearly
had one in the room,
549
00:27:12,632 --> 00:27:15,132
but it wasn't hooked up
and it's still in the box.
550
00:27:15,176 --> 00:27:16,925
- That's the defect I have.
551
00:27:16,969 --> 00:27:18,719
You're looking at mr. Adhd here.
552
00:27:18,804 --> 00:27:19,804
He just.
553
00:27:19,847 --> 00:27:22,306
- Let me just
point something out
554
00:27:22,350 --> 00:27:24,975
and that is we're at a
pretty, pretty bad start.
555
00:27:25,019 --> 00:27:26,143
It's not personal.
556
00:27:26,228 --> 00:27:28,270
It just is a fact.
557
00:27:28,314 --> 00:27:31,815
So at this point,
I'm gonna step out
558
00:27:31,859 --> 00:27:34,902
and I'm gonna let your
family work with you.
559
00:27:34,987 --> 00:27:37,404
- I say, if it's in a box
and you haven't opened it,
560
00:27:37,490 --> 00:27:38,490
get rid of it.
561
00:27:38,574 --> 00:27:39,885
- If you haven't
touched it in a year,
562
00:27:39,909 --> 00:27:40,741
get rid of it.
563
00:27:40,785 --> 00:27:42,242
- don't worry about this.
564
00:27:42,328 --> 00:27:45,746
This is new stuff 'cause it
hasn't got mold on it yet, so.
565
00:27:45,831 --> 00:27:47,956
- So what they brought
out here right now,
566
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,292
can we just go through each item
567
00:27:50,336 --> 00:27:52,628
and just say yay or nay?
568
00:27:52,672 --> 00:27:55,025
- I don't have that kind of
energy to tell you the truth.
569
00:27:55,049 --> 00:27:56,382
I didn't realize,
570
00:27:56,467 --> 00:27:58,362
I mean, you know, to see all
this displayed like this,
571
00:27:58,386 --> 00:28:01,512
it's like, yee.
572
00:28:01,555 --> 00:28:03,533
I felt very comfortable
with all my stuff around me
573
00:28:03,557 --> 00:28:04,868
even though I was tripping
and falling all over it.
574
00:28:04,892 --> 00:28:06,036
- out of sight, out of mind,
575
00:28:06,060 --> 00:28:08,185
out of sight, out of mind.
576
00:28:08,229 --> 00:28:10,979
- Like, do you really
want that bunny
577
00:28:11,023 --> 00:28:12,272
and those ball and that stuff?
578
00:28:12,358 --> 00:28:13,482
I mean, it's...
579
00:28:13,526 --> 00:28:14,753
- those are things
that remind me.
580
00:28:14,777 --> 00:28:18,487
Am I not supposed to
be reminded of szilvie?
581
00:28:18,572 --> 00:28:20,509
- So guys, in the
interest of time,
582
00:28:20,533 --> 00:28:22,219
we're now going
back to the things
583
00:28:22,243 --> 00:28:24,368
that have already been
made decisions on.
584
00:28:24,412 --> 00:28:27,830
We need to keep
moving this way, okay?
585
00:28:27,873 --> 00:28:29,017
- I have a chair
right here for you.
586
00:28:29,041 --> 00:28:29,873
- Oh, thank you.
587
00:28:29,917 --> 00:28:30,708
Thank you, harvey.
588
00:28:30,793 --> 00:28:31,542
I appreciate it.
589
00:28:31,627 --> 00:28:32,627
Thank you.
590
00:28:33,587 --> 00:28:34,837
- Does this work for you
591
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:38,215
to try to have your
family doing this for you?
592
00:28:38,300 --> 00:28:39,717
- Does this work for y'all?
593
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:41,135
Are y'all?
594
00:28:41,220 --> 00:28:43,240
- I think a fresh start
would be a good thing for you
595
00:28:43,264 --> 00:28:45,514
and you're not gonna
get a fresh start
596
00:28:45,599 --> 00:28:46,785
unless you eliminate
a lot of this crap.
597
00:28:46,809 --> 00:28:49,226
- It'll start to feel
good at some point.
598
00:28:49,270 --> 00:28:50,394
- Yeah.
599
00:28:50,438 --> 00:28:51,915
You walk into a
nice clean house,
600
00:28:51,939 --> 00:28:53,208
you'll feel like
a million dollars.
601
00:28:53,232 --> 00:28:56,024
You can't take any
of this with you.
602
00:28:56,068 --> 00:28:58,402
- eric, all these canes?
603
00:28:58,446 --> 00:29:00,424
- you gotta keep the golf club.
604
00:29:00,448 --> 00:29:01,864
- Okay.
605
00:29:01,949 --> 00:29:04,032
Can we get rid of
the rest of them?
606
00:29:04,994 --> 00:29:06,910
- I would say the wooden canes,
607
00:29:06,954 --> 00:29:09,079
they're like artwork, you know?
608
00:29:09,165 --> 00:29:10,267
I just don't understand.
609
00:29:10,291 --> 00:29:11,768
I mean, what am I
going to end up with?
610
00:29:11,792 --> 00:29:15,210
I mean, if I walked
into y'all's homes
611
00:29:15,296 --> 00:29:17,023
or anybody's homes
here and said,
612
00:29:17,047 --> 00:29:18,589
what do you want to get rid of?
613
00:29:18,674 --> 00:29:19,840
Yeah, I mean,
614
00:29:19,925 --> 00:29:21,111
but it's just difficult
to sit here and say,
615
00:29:21,135 --> 00:29:22,676
get rid of it all.
616
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:24,406
I mean, I could do that right
now and we could all be happy,
617
00:29:24,430 --> 00:29:27,181
and I could go sit in
the shade right now.
618
00:29:27,266 --> 00:29:32,311
But it's just hard to
make that decision.
619
00:29:33,689 --> 00:29:34,958
- I'm really worried about
him because in the beginning,
620
00:29:34,982 --> 00:29:38,275
he did express a desire
to get rid of his stuff.
621
00:29:38,319 --> 00:29:41,779
However, once it was all
out and all displayed,
622
00:29:41,822 --> 00:29:44,406
he realized how
much stuff he had
623
00:29:44,492 --> 00:29:47,618
and how attached he
was to his stuff.
624
00:29:47,703 --> 00:29:51,121
I am not convinced at this point
625
00:29:51,165 --> 00:29:55,209
that he will even let
go of 5% of his stuff.
626
00:30:25,032 --> 00:30:26,032
- thank you.
627
00:30:36,794 --> 00:30:41,213
- all right, so the first
tarp didn't go so well.
628
00:30:41,298 --> 00:30:42,359
- Yeah, imagine that.
629
00:30:42,383 --> 00:30:43,693
- You know, the odds
were against you
630
00:30:43,717 --> 00:30:46,844
because it was sylvie's
stuff, it was boxed up.
631
00:30:46,887 --> 00:30:49,596
So what I thought we would
do is move to this tarp
632
00:30:49,682 --> 00:30:51,765
because this is clothing.
633
00:30:51,851 --> 00:30:54,309
I thought this is where we
might have some success.
634
00:30:54,395 --> 00:30:55,956
- all right, what you got?
635
00:30:55,980 --> 00:30:57,860
You gonna pick out
piece by piece?
636
00:30:57,898 --> 00:30:59,189
- Well, I just want to see
637
00:30:59,233 --> 00:31:01,692
if you can start
making some decisions.
638
00:31:02,653 --> 00:31:03,653
How about these?
639
00:31:04,655 --> 00:31:07,573
- Oh, sweatpants, you always
gotta have sweatpants.
640
00:31:07,658 --> 00:31:08,718
- Okay, how about these?
641
00:31:08,742 --> 00:31:11,368
- Oh, those are
summer sweat pants.
642
00:31:11,453 --> 00:31:13,620
Not gonna make you
sweat, what is this?
643
00:31:13,706 --> 00:31:15,497
- How about this t-shirt?
644
00:31:15,541 --> 00:31:17,207
- Oh, you got to have a t-shirt.
645
00:31:18,586 --> 00:31:23,297
- These are all t-shirts and
sweaters here, an entire box.
646
00:31:23,382 --> 00:31:24,756
- Yep.
647
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:26,403
- So we're going to keep
everything that's in this box
648
00:31:26,427 --> 00:31:28,343
and everything that's
in this box too?
649
00:31:28,387 --> 00:31:31,805
- That's the tragedy
of all of this.
650
00:31:31,891 --> 00:31:34,391
I've become very attached
to all my clothes.
651
00:31:35,561 --> 00:31:36,663
I mean, I've got to
say, throw it all away,
652
00:31:36,687 --> 00:31:38,498
then I'm going to sit
around naked all day
653
00:31:38,522 --> 00:31:39,762
in my underwear and tank top?
654
00:31:42,610 --> 00:31:44,891
- You know we don't want you
to get rid of everything,
655
00:31:44,945 --> 00:31:46,339
but you have thousands
and thousands,
656
00:31:46,363 --> 00:31:48,405
you probably have
well over 10,000.
657
00:31:48,490 --> 00:31:50,093
- You're not telling me
anything I don't know.
658
00:31:50,117 --> 00:31:52,242
I know I've got
thousands and thousands
659
00:31:52,286 --> 00:31:54,995
of pieces of clothing,
but I really do appreciate
660
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,320
everybody doing this and I
don't want people to think
661
00:31:57,374 --> 00:31:59,227
that I'm not thankful
for y'all being here,
662
00:31:59,251 --> 00:32:02,586
but it's just, I'm not a man
who can make quick decisions.
663
00:32:02,630 --> 00:32:04,274
I never have been,
and now you're saying
664
00:32:04,298 --> 00:32:06,590
be somebody that you're
not, and I'm not that guy.
665
00:32:06,675 --> 00:32:08,570
I'm not a guy that
makes quick decisions.
666
00:32:08,594 --> 00:32:09,801
- Relinquish.
667
00:32:09,887 --> 00:32:11,615
- Obviously, look
at this crap here,
668
00:32:11,639 --> 00:32:13,263
or treasures as I call it.
669
00:32:14,558 --> 00:32:16,892
- So eric, that's why we're here
670
00:32:16,977 --> 00:32:18,977
is to help you
change that pattern.
671
00:32:19,063 --> 00:32:21,980
- Well, I'm not feeling any
change, no hope and change here.
672
00:32:22,066 --> 00:32:25,400
- But have you made
a decision to change?
673
00:32:25,486 --> 00:32:27,646
Because what I hear you
saying is "this is who I am
674
00:32:27,696 --> 00:32:29,633
and you want me to be
somebody different."
675
00:32:29,657 --> 00:32:31,949
- yeah, I want to
be able to change,
676
00:32:31,992 --> 00:32:35,535
but I don't find the ability
to change within me right now.
677
00:32:35,621 --> 00:32:36,954
I just don't.
678
00:32:37,039 --> 00:32:39,414
- Eric, you can't get the
house back in some order.
679
00:32:39,458 --> 00:32:40,832
- I realize that, rita.
680
00:32:40,918 --> 00:32:42,687
- Yeah, I know, but look at
all the shoes you've got.
681
00:32:42,711 --> 00:32:44,564
- I understand all the
logical ideas behind this.
682
00:32:44,588 --> 00:32:46,630
I understand that, I
can comprehend that.
683
00:32:46,674 --> 00:32:48,382
That's no problem.
684
00:32:48,467 --> 00:32:50,070
You know, put a
check on everything,
685
00:32:50,094 --> 00:32:51,385
need to move all this stuff out,
686
00:32:51,470 --> 00:32:55,764
but I just can't get my
brain wrapped this right now
687
00:32:55,808 --> 00:32:57,474
and you're asking me to do that.
688
00:32:59,186 --> 00:33:02,270
- I know this is hard
for you, I get it,
689
00:33:02,356 --> 00:33:04,648
but you're not
too old to change.
690
00:33:06,485 --> 00:33:09,987
And sometimes it's about
making a decision to change
691
00:33:10,030 --> 00:33:12,614
and to see that
the stuff is really
692
00:33:12,658 --> 00:33:14,366
what is making you miserable.
693
00:33:14,451 --> 00:33:18,578
Holding onto it is not
what is making you happy.
694
00:33:18,664 --> 00:33:21,081
Our goal is to
get you to a place
695
00:33:21,166 --> 00:33:22,966
where you can develop
the strength
696
00:33:23,002 --> 00:33:24,354
to make those decisions.
- Mmm-hmm.
697
00:33:24,378 --> 00:33:25,981
We're gonna give you a
little bit of a break.
698
00:33:26,005 --> 00:33:28,797
Maybe if you can pluck
through some of this stuff,
699
00:33:28,882 --> 00:33:31,174
see if you can make
some decisions, okay?
700
00:33:31,218 --> 00:33:32,259
- All right.
701
00:33:32,344 --> 00:33:32,968
- all right, I appreciate you.
702
00:33:33,053 --> 00:33:33,927
- Drop back by.
703
00:33:34,013 --> 00:33:35,095
- I will.
704
00:33:41,228 --> 00:33:43,437
- see that couch back there?
705
00:33:43,522 --> 00:33:46,189
That's a thousand dollar
couch, I just bought that.
706
00:33:46,233 --> 00:33:47,607
What is that doing in there?
707
00:33:47,693 --> 00:33:49,401
- I have no idea.
708
00:33:49,486 --> 00:33:51,339
Family members,
did you know that?
709
00:33:51,363 --> 00:33:55,198
- Y'all gotta have a little
better hold on all this.
710
00:33:55,242 --> 00:33:56,575
You got to ask me.
711
00:33:56,660 --> 00:34:00,537
You can't throw out a brand
new piece of furniture.
712
00:34:00,581 --> 00:34:03,165
- Now you gotta have me
looking through trash.
713
00:34:03,208 --> 00:34:04,488
This is not what I wanted to do.
714
00:34:04,543 --> 00:34:06,187
I wanted to be able to
trust people to come here
715
00:34:06,211 --> 00:34:07,544
and let me know what's going on.
716
00:34:07,629 --> 00:34:12,883
And now you decided, oh,
let's throw my good stuff in.
717
00:34:13,927 --> 00:34:16,344
That's unacceptable,
that really is.
718
00:34:16,388 --> 00:34:19,056
- Well that is on you.
719
00:34:19,141 --> 00:34:22,434
I pointed out to get
rid of some furniture
720
00:34:22,519 --> 00:34:27,397
and it got thrown away and
it caused a big ruckus.
721
00:34:27,441 --> 00:34:29,210
- The thing is, I
don't know what else
722
00:34:29,234 --> 00:34:30,650
is going to get thrown in here
723
00:34:30,736 --> 00:34:34,988
because people are assuming
things they shouldn't assume.
724
00:34:36,158 --> 00:34:37,635
- hang on, eric,
hang on one second.
725
00:34:37,659 --> 00:34:39,596
- I didn't know it was
going in the actual trash.
726
00:34:39,620 --> 00:34:41,556
I just thought it was
going somewhere else
727
00:34:41,580 --> 00:34:44,206
and we were going to
deal with it in auction
728
00:34:44,291 --> 00:34:46,917
or get rid of it or
something like that.
729
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:49,211
- I trusted y'all two to
be professional enough
730
00:34:49,296 --> 00:34:51,296
to know what's
going on out here.
731
00:34:51,381 --> 00:34:53,632
And I come here and
looking at a dumpster.
732
00:34:53,717 --> 00:34:55,258
Now I got to go dumpster diving
733
00:34:55,344 --> 00:34:56,863
because y'all weren't
doing your stuff.
734
00:34:56,887 --> 00:34:58,345
You got me distracted with all,
735
00:34:58,388 --> 00:35:02,265
I mean, I realize it's a big
job, but that is unacceptable.
736
00:35:04,436 --> 00:35:07,938
- My entire team knows that
they don't throw anything away.
737
00:35:07,981 --> 00:35:11,233
So I would not have
known that that happened.
738
00:35:12,361 --> 00:35:14,694
I think you have seen
that we are here for you
739
00:35:14,780 --> 00:35:17,697
and that no one is trying
to get you to do anything
740
00:35:17,783 --> 00:35:19,157
that is against your will,
741
00:35:19,201 --> 00:35:21,618
and you just said that this
is a really big project
742
00:35:21,662 --> 00:35:23,223
and we can't be
everywhere at once.
743
00:35:23,247 --> 00:35:26,039
We're doing our best, okay?
744
00:35:26,125 --> 00:35:29,084
- But I gotta have a dumpster
monitor here, you know?
745
00:35:29,169 --> 00:35:32,129
- I didn't give any
permission to anyone
746
00:35:32,172 --> 00:35:34,840
to throw anything
away, and it happened.
747
00:35:34,925 --> 00:35:36,205
- I mean, I can do this myself.
748
00:35:36,260 --> 00:35:38,135
I can throw this
all in the trash
749
00:35:38,178 --> 00:35:39,803
if that's what I want to do.
750
00:35:39,847 --> 00:35:41,241
- and that's
not our intention, eric.
751
00:35:41,265 --> 00:35:43,159
- I don't know eric, this
wasn't a case where I said
752
00:35:43,183 --> 00:35:45,161
"while we're holding
him hostage,
- I know
753
00:35:45,185 --> 00:35:46,412
please throw this away."
754
00:35:46,436 --> 00:35:48,937
- but this is an
unawareness that just not...
755
00:35:48,981 --> 00:35:50,272
- it's just not fair.
756
00:35:50,357 --> 00:35:52,001
- Mistakes are
gonna be made, eric.
757
00:35:52,025 --> 00:35:54,901
Heck, just calm down, I
mean, there's so much junk,
758
00:35:54,987 --> 00:35:56,820
so much, I mean, it's...
759
00:35:56,864 --> 00:35:58,508
- but you gotta
be able to tell what's,
760
00:35:58,532 --> 00:35:59,801
they gotta have
some kind of sense
761
00:35:59,825 --> 00:36:01,010
of what's junk and what's not.
762
00:36:01,034 --> 00:36:02,367
- No, drag it out, so what?
763
00:36:02,452 --> 00:36:04,347
- Maybe I've made, I'm hot
and bothered and worn out.
764
00:36:04,371 --> 00:36:06,830
- you're hot and
bothered, just relax, man.
765
00:36:07,875 --> 00:36:09,124
- I can't relax, mark.
766
00:36:09,209 --> 00:36:11,418
I'm in a point
where I can't relax.
767
00:36:11,503 --> 00:36:12,752
- Mark, he can't relax.
768
00:36:12,838 --> 00:36:15,255
It's not physically
possible for him right now.
769
00:36:15,340 --> 00:36:17,632
That was something
really important to him.
770
00:36:17,718 --> 00:36:19,259
- He could relax.
771
00:36:22,389 --> 00:36:24,492
- these are things that
we would never throw away.
772
00:36:24,516 --> 00:36:28,351
So I'm sorry that someone
else put it in the dumpster.
773
00:36:28,395 --> 00:36:31,479
- This is now missing
the front rail part of it
774
00:36:31,565 --> 00:36:34,149
and that would decrease
the value of it.
775
00:36:35,194 --> 00:36:37,194
I know when I was there
when she bought this
776
00:36:38,530 --> 00:36:39,632
and you know, that's the thing,
777
00:36:39,656 --> 00:36:40,758
once you start throwing,
778
00:36:40,782 --> 00:36:42,662
things get broken
and you don't know.
779
00:36:42,743 --> 00:36:47,370
I just am amazed that
went in the dumpster.
780
00:36:49,374 --> 00:36:51,458
- At this point, I'm
hoping that he sees
781
00:36:51,543 --> 00:36:54,211
that this was a mistake,
that this wasn't anything
782
00:36:54,254 --> 00:36:56,379
that myself or dorothy did,
783
00:36:56,423 --> 00:37:00,717
and we will get the family
to rally, revisit the rules,
784
00:37:00,802 --> 00:37:04,596
and make sure that
nothing moving forward
785
00:37:04,681 --> 00:37:07,891
goes on the dumpster
without his say.
786
00:37:07,935 --> 00:37:11,603
- Family members, we
need to make it clear
787
00:37:11,688 --> 00:37:13,313
that nothing gets thrown away.
788
00:37:13,398 --> 00:37:15,023
I'm so sorry.
789
00:37:15,067 --> 00:37:16,502
- It's all right,
it's all right.
790
00:37:16,526 --> 00:37:18,254
- And yes, we will have a
dumpster monitor if we need one.
791
00:37:18,278 --> 00:37:19,714
- Absolutely.
- You know?
792
00:37:19,738 --> 00:37:22,405
- I'm hoping that tonight
he gets a good night's sleep
793
00:37:22,449 --> 00:37:25,242
and gets some rest and
recognizes that this was
794
00:37:25,285 --> 00:37:28,370
simply a mistake
that we did rectify.
795
00:37:28,413 --> 00:37:31,915
However, if he doesn't get to
that place, I'm really worried
796
00:37:31,959 --> 00:37:35,335
about what this will mean
for moving forward tomorrow.
797
00:37:52,646 --> 00:37:53,979
- I get up in the morning.
798
00:37:54,064 --> 00:37:58,233
I meditate on what kind of
a day we're going to have.
799
00:37:58,318 --> 00:38:01,111
I'm in a good
mood, I drive here.
800
00:38:01,154 --> 00:38:04,531
I walk up the driveway and
I'm ready to start the day.
801
00:38:04,616 --> 00:38:05,740
And pow!
802
00:38:05,784 --> 00:38:08,326
- If I was you, I would,
803
00:38:08,412 --> 00:38:11,121
I would resign from my
position right now, dorothy.
804
00:38:13,292 --> 00:38:14,582
I mean, for you, this works.
805
00:38:14,668 --> 00:38:15,959
It doesn't work for me.
806
00:38:17,170 --> 00:38:18,815
There was no reason
for me to come here
807
00:38:18,839 --> 00:38:23,133
and have my life just
up-ended like this
808
00:38:23,218 --> 00:38:27,137
and expect me to be just
all happy and excited
809
00:38:27,222 --> 00:38:29,117
that my life is gonna
magically change.
810
00:38:29,141 --> 00:38:30,285
It's not gonna magically change.
811
00:38:30,309 --> 00:38:33,893
I sat in that house
yesterday, emptied.
812
00:38:33,979 --> 00:38:35,854
And I said "this
is just a shell."
813
00:38:37,024 --> 00:38:38,918
- that's the part I
was worried about, yes.
814
00:38:38,942 --> 00:38:40,984
- That's a shell of who I was.
815
00:38:41,028 --> 00:38:43,820
I wanted to get a
good meal, I couldn't.
816
00:38:43,864 --> 00:38:46,990
I couldn't find anything in my
house to use to make a meal.
817
00:38:47,034 --> 00:38:49,200
You have to realize when
you're walking down,
818
00:38:49,286 --> 00:38:52,203
how is this going to affect
the person that we're here,
819
00:38:52,289 --> 00:38:53,788
you're here to help?
820
00:38:53,832 --> 00:38:55,790
Weren't helping me last night.
821
00:38:55,834 --> 00:38:57,584
This goes for you too.
822
00:38:57,669 --> 00:38:59,002
- What happened?
823
00:38:59,046 --> 00:39:00,690
I just wanna understand
what happened.
824
00:39:00,714 --> 00:39:03,006
- How would you get this
car down that driveway?
825
00:39:03,091 --> 00:39:05,216
If you wanted to go
somewhere in an emergency
826
00:39:05,302 --> 00:39:06,718
or just to get something to eat
827
00:39:06,762 --> 00:39:10,472
or just to take a drive to
just get away from all this?
828
00:39:10,515 --> 00:39:13,058
You couldn't, that's your job.
829
00:39:13,143 --> 00:39:15,268
- Yes, but, and I do
want to say something.
830
00:39:15,354 --> 00:39:17,687
- Well, listen to
this, I'm not finished.
831
00:39:17,731 --> 00:39:19,481
I'm a disabled man.
832
00:39:19,524 --> 00:39:21,169
I've got a back
full of titanium.
833
00:39:21,193 --> 00:39:23,026
I can't hardly walk sometimes.
834
00:39:23,070 --> 00:39:26,363
When I get stressed out,
it stresses my back out.
835
00:39:26,448 --> 00:39:30,200
And I don't, I don't enjoy
having my back twisted
836
00:39:30,243 --> 00:39:34,037
into a pretzel because of this
and that's what's happening.
837
00:39:34,081 --> 00:39:35,789
My back is going like this.
838
00:39:35,874 --> 00:39:37,310
I couldn't sleep
at all last night.
839
00:39:37,334 --> 00:39:39,667
I had to take a sleeping pill
and that makes me groggy.
840
00:39:39,711 --> 00:39:41,002
It makes me irritated.
841
00:39:41,088 --> 00:39:43,254
I don't like taking
those things.
842
00:39:43,340 --> 00:39:45,965
And I lose it, and
I'm losing it now.
843
00:39:46,051 --> 00:39:47,300
- We understand.
844
00:39:47,386 --> 00:39:49,030
- And I really don't, I
just don't want to even
845
00:39:49,054 --> 00:39:51,304
talk to y'all right now
because I just feel,
846
00:39:51,390 --> 00:39:54,432
I feel y'all are in this
kind of world of your own.
847
00:39:55,769 --> 00:39:57,372
You say you're here to help
me, but I don't get it.
848
00:39:57,396 --> 00:39:59,196
I don't feel it,
I don't sense it.
849
00:39:59,231 --> 00:40:02,148
And I just assume just
get y'all out of here
850
00:40:02,234 --> 00:40:05,735
and leave it here and I'll have
a garage sale or something.
851
00:40:11,535 --> 00:40:13,743
- I spoke to him three
times last night.
852
00:40:13,787 --> 00:40:16,121
I offered to come and
move the tarps last night.
853
00:40:16,206 --> 00:40:17,997
I offered to bring him food.
854
00:40:18,083 --> 00:40:20,228
- I think this is probably
just one of his defenses
855
00:40:20,252 --> 00:40:22,460
coming up to push us all away.
856
00:40:22,546 --> 00:40:24,546
I know he's emotionally fragile.
857
00:40:24,631 --> 00:40:26,234
I've talked about that
from the beginning.
858
00:40:26,258 --> 00:40:28,550
He's validating that.
859
00:40:28,635 --> 00:40:30,969
I'm going to go see
if I can talk to him.
860
00:40:31,054 --> 00:40:32,387
- I'd like to talk to him too,
861
00:40:32,472 --> 00:40:35,098
but I also need to explain
a couple of things to him.
862
00:40:35,142 --> 00:40:36,411
- I'm happy to go together.
863
00:40:36,435 --> 00:40:37,559
- Okay.
864
00:40:37,644 --> 00:40:38,788
- But I'm not convinced
at this part that
865
00:40:38,812 --> 00:40:41,271
he has the mental capacity
866
00:40:41,356 --> 00:40:43,606
and the emotional
capacity to do this.
867
00:40:44,901 --> 00:40:46,671
And yesterday, when he
said "I just want you
868
00:40:46,695 --> 00:40:48,987
to organize all this stuff
and bring it back in,"
869
00:40:49,072 --> 00:40:50,655
that may be what we need to do,
870
00:40:51,783 --> 00:40:54,576
because I'm not willing
to risk him having
871
00:40:54,619 --> 00:40:55,699
any kind of breakdown,
872
00:40:57,080 --> 00:41:00,957
and the way he is right
now, he's in that place.
873
00:41:01,001 --> 00:41:02,208
- Yeah.
874
00:41:02,294 --> 00:41:04,094
- Let's see if we
can talk to him.
875
00:41:12,345 --> 00:41:15,096
Eric, I really felt
like I understood you
876
00:41:15,182 --> 00:41:17,765
from the beginning,
from the very moment
877
00:41:17,851 --> 00:41:20,143
that I met you
out on that porch,
878
00:41:20,187 --> 00:41:23,438
I felt connected to you
because you were real
879
00:41:23,523 --> 00:41:26,566
and you were genuine
and you were honest.
880
00:41:26,651 --> 00:41:30,403
And there were these moments
where you use the humor
881
00:41:30,489 --> 00:41:32,300
to kind of deflect
against the seriousness
882
00:41:32,324 --> 00:41:33,823
and I could see that.
883
00:41:33,909 --> 00:41:35,386
But then there were
these moments too
884
00:41:35,410 --> 00:41:39,496
that you were very real and
your pain was very present.
885
00:41:40,999 --> 00:41:42,768
I don't know if you remember
some of the conversations
886
00:41:42,792 --> 00:41:45,376
we had, but I talked
about this very thing,
887
00:41:45,462 --> 00:41:48,046
that this is what I
was most worried about
888
00:41:48,131 --> 00:41:52,759
was that the stuff was
889
00:41:52,844 --> 00:41:55,595
covering up all that pain.
890
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:58,556
The one thing that I want
to let you know is that
891
00:41:58,642 --> 00:42:02,310
we are going to
give you aftercare,
892
00:42:02,354 --> 00:42:05,480
which means going to a therapist
893
00:42:05,524 --> 00:42:07,043
to help you work
through all this.
894
00:42:07,067 --> 00:42:09,526
Because in a couple
of days, we can't,
895
00:42:10,695 --> 00:42:14,864
we can't fix this, right?
896
00:42:14,950 --> 00:42:17,450
- we can fix the
stuff, but emotionally,
897
00:42:17,536 --> 00:42:20,036
your healing is going to
take a very long time.
898
00:42:22,832 --> 00:42:25,291
In order for you to get better,
899
00:42:25,377 --> 00:42:28,711
you're going to have
to feel these feelings.
900
00:42:38,765 --> 00:42:40,723
- I think the process
of counseling
901
00:42:42,185 --> 00:42:46,062
is about getting to a place
to be able to tolerate
902
00:42:46,106 --> 00:42:48,940
the feelings because
kind of like our goal
903
00:42:49,025 --> 00:42:50,628
is not to get rid
of all your stuff,
904
00:42:50,652 --> 00:42:52,694
the goal is not to
get rid of the memory,
905
00:42:52,779 --> 00:42:57,574
but finding a way to embrace
this amazingly powerful,
906
00:42:57,617 --> 00:43:01,995
beautiful, loving
relationship that you had.
907
00:43:05,208 --> 00:43:07,166
I'm sorry for your pain,
908
00:43:07,252 --> 00:43:10,920
and I'm sorry that we are
the catalyst for your pain,
909
00:43:11,006 --> 00:43:15,675
but I also know that this
is what has to happen
910
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:20,972
for you to heal, and that
stuff has been blocking it.
911
00:43:22,267 --> 00:43:23,744
And I know you think about
sylvie and I can't even imagine
912
00:43:23,768 --> 00:43:27,353
since her passing, how many
times you have silently cried,
913
00:43:27,439 --> 00:43:30,607
or cried out loud in
your house by yourself.
914
00:43:32,110 --> 00:43:35,278
But that stuff will you never
cover up your pain, ever.
915
00:43:37,157 --> 00:43:39,741
- I sat in here and I realized
916
00:43:39,826 --> 00:43:41,868
this is an empty place,
917
00:43:41,953 --> 00:43:44,579
'cause I could hear my
voice echoing around.
918
00:43:44,664 --> 00:43:47,582
And I said there was
no one here but me.
919
00:43:47,626 --> 00:43:50,084
It was a very lonely feeling,
920
00:43:50,128 --> 00:43:56,257
and you know how fragile I am,
921
00:43:56,343 --> 00:43:57,653
but the thing is, all
I could think about
922
00:43:57,677 --> 00:44:00,887
is this place without
sylvie, it's just a house.
923
00:44:00,972 --> 00:44:02,680
It's not a home.
924
00:44:02,766 --> 00:44:05,516
It didn't feel like
a home to me anymore,
925
00:44:05,602 --> 00:44:07,769
especially with
all my stuff gone.
926
00:44:07,854 --> 00:44:11,105
I think my stuff, when I
was sitting here, I was like
927
00:44:11,191 --> 00:44:16,152
my stuff made me feel, was
my replacement for sylvie.
928
00:44:17,030 --> 00:44:19,656
And, and you just.
929
00:44:27,832 --> 00:44:32,168
You just can't buy anything
to replace her.
930
00:44:37,634 --> 00:44:40,510
I don't know how to go on
from here, I just don't.
931
00:44:41,638 --> 00:44:44,013
I just don't, you
emptied this house
932
00:44:45,141 --> 00:44:47,183
and it'll just be
one big echo chamber
933
00:44:48,728 --> 00:44:50,186
of my memories of her,
934
00:44:53,525 --> 00:44:56,526
and I just miss her so much.
935
00:44:56,611 --> 00:44:58,861
I sit here and say
"where's my sylvie?"
936
00:44:58,905 --> 00:45:01,030
every night, where's my sylvie?
937
00:45:02,075 --> 00:45:04,534
And she's not here,
she's not here.
938
00:45:23,763 --> 00:45:27,640
- in eric's case, like many
people who were struggling
939
00:45:27,726 --> 00:45:29,225
with hoarding behaviors
940
00:45:29,310 --> 00:45:31,394
there can be a lot
of trauma attached.
941
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:35,857
- This is my wife's
room where she slept.
942
00:45:35,900 --> 00:45:38,067
This is where she spent the last
943
00:45:39,612 --> 00:45:41,988
two and a half
years of her life.
944
00:45:57,464 --> 00:46:00,506
- I confronted him
about it at one point
945
00:46:00,592 --> 00:46:04,177
and he got furious, told
me to mind my own business.
946
00:46:04,262 --> 00:46:05,698
Well, this is my house,
I can do what I want.
947
00:46:05,722 --> 00:46:09,724
- I'm not a guy that makes
quick decisions, obviously.
948
00:46:09,809 --> 00:46:11,768
Look at this crap here.
949
00:46:11,853 --> 00:46:13,478
- Eric, that's why we're here
950
00:46:13,563 --> 00:46:15,605
is to help you
change that pattern.
951
00:46:15,690 --> 00:46:19,275
- Well, I'm not feeling any
change, no hope and change here.
952
00:46:26,785 --> 00:46:30,036
This all testifies to me
the reason you're here
953
00:46:30,121 --> 00:46:31,746
is because I've failed.
954
00:46:32,791 --> 00:46:36,125
I don't know why it has
to be that way, but,
955
00:46:38,296 --> 00:46:42,089
you know, it's just again,
sitting in this empty room,
956
00:46:43,343 --> 00:46:47,303
the accusation just kept
coming, that you failed.
957
00:46:48,389 --> 00:46:51,057
That's why you got
all these people here,
958
00:46:51,142 --> 00:46:52,934
you got all this going on,
959
00:46:54,354 --> 00:46:58,981
and I don't know how to deal
with failure, I really don't.
960
00:46:59,067 --> 00:47:01,150
But I appreciate you
letting me share that
961
00:47:01,194 --> 00:47:06,155
because that's a big
part of my life is being,
962
00:47:08,034 --> 00:47:10,868
feeling like I'm a
failure and everything.
963
00:47:10,954 --> 00:47:13,996
- Eric, I think
that in addition to
964
00:47:15,375 --> 00:47:18,334
dealing with the grief
and the loss of sylvie,
965
00:47:18,419 --> 00:47:21,504
that some work needs
to be done around
966
00:47:21,589 --> 00:47:24,006
this distortion that
you're a failure,
967
00:47:24,092 --> 00:47:25,675
because you're not a failure,
968
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:30,805
and what happened with this
house was a direct result
969
00:47:32,183 --> 00:47:35,977
of the loss of the most
important thing in your life.
970
00:47:36,855 --> 00:47:38,688
I hope that at some point,
971
00:47:38,773 --> 00:47:43,693
you can reframe this
image of yourself
972
00:47:44,821 --> 00:47:47,905
not as a failure,
but a survivor,
973
00:47:47,991 --> 00:47:51,075
because you are a survivor.
974
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:54,161
This conversation was
probably the most powerful
975
00:47:54,205 --> 00:47:58,833
conversation he has had
since sylvie passed.
976
00:47:58,918 --> 00:48:00,729
I'm hoping that this
will be the first step
977
00:48:00,753 --> 00:48:03,296
of his grieving process
and build his confidence
978
00:48:03,381 --> 00:48:06,048
that even though it's gonna
be painful, he can do it.
979
00:48:40,209 --> 00:48:42,793
- this massive
thunderstorm is coming in.
980
00:48:42,879 --> 00:48:46,422
It's just booming.
981
00:48:47,675 --> 00:48:49,133
Yes, I have an idea.
982
00:48:49,218 --> 00:48:51,113
We can go to the attic
and I can deal with
983
00:48:51,137 --> 00:48:55,139
1,500 pieces of clothing that
are leftover from the 1990s,
984
00:48:55,224 --> 00:48:57,058
and eric is willing to do it.
985
00:48:59,062 --> 00:49:01,437
Do you want me to
push you a little bit
986
00:49:01,522 --> 00:49:03,417
in trying to let some
of these things go?
987
00:49:03,441 --> 00:49:04,960
- You can push, I
might push back.
988
00:49:04,984 --> 00:49:05,942
- Okay.
989
00:49:05,985 --> 00:49:07,865
- we'll see how that works.
990
00:49:07,946 --> 00:49:11,530
- We're in the blue zone
here, here we are, blues.
991
00:49:11,616 --> 00:49:12,365
- Blue zones.
992
00:49:12,450 --> 00:49:13,282
- and a stripe.
993
00:49:13,326 --> 00:49:14,553
- Gosh, I never got that one off
994
00:49:14,577 --> 00:49:15,857
'cause this tag is still on it.
995
00:49:17,830 --> 00:49:22,833
Thrift stores, all these clothes
never got on my body even.
996
00:49:24,295 --> 00:49:26,273
- And what you want to look
for are like the yellowing here
997
00:49:26,297 --> 00:49:29,465
around the collar from
sitting in a space like this.
998
00:49:29,550 --> 00:49:32,927
- all right,
goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
999
00:49:34,263 --> 00:49:35,741
- these are really
getting old here, some of them.
1000
00:49:35,765 --> 00:49:37,451
- so it makes them valuable.
1001
00:49:37,475 --> 00:49:39,558
They get nice and soft
when they get little,
1002
00:49:39,644 --> 00:49:42,812
oh, the hawaiians, aloha.
1003
00:49:44,065 --> 00:49:45,439
Oh my gosh.
1004
00:49:45,525 --> 00:49:48,359
Hard to say goodbye to your
hawaiian shirts, isn't it?
1005
00:49:48,444 --> 00:49:49,797
You think I should
keep any of these?
1006
00:49:49,821 --> 00:49:51,696
- No, I do not.
1007
00:49:51,781 --> 00:49:55,199
Respectfully as a
woman, as a woman,
1008
00:49:55,284 --> 00:49:58,828
and knowing that you can be
dateable again in the future,
1009
00:49:58,913 --> 00:50:00,705
no to those shirts right now.
1010
00:50:02,083 --> 00:50:05,251
So this is going to be our
last bunch up here in the attic
1011
00:50:05,336 --> 00:50:09,338
because it's tight,
it's very hot.
1012
00:50:09,382 --> 00:50:11,090
I don't want us to pass out.
1013
00:50:11,175 --> 00:50:12,903
Okay, it's a hundred
degrees outside
1014
00:50:12,927 --> 00:50:15,177
and it's probably 120 in here.
1015
00:50:15,221 --> 00:50:18,723
You know, we had a couple of
really great breakthroughs
1016
00:50:18,808 --> 00:50:21,517
with eric today, and
that's the best part
1017
00:50:21,561 --> 00:50:23,519
and the most important part.
1018
00:50:23,563 --> 00:50:26,188
So we did about 220 shirts.
1019
00:50:26,232 --> 00:50:26,856
- Is that all, huh?
1020
00:50:26,941 --> 00:50:28,774
- Yeah, in 15 minutes.
1021
00:50:28,860 --> 00:50:31,610
But in terms of getting
his place organized,
1022
00:50:31,696 --> 00:50:33,946
it looks like a disaster.
1023
00:50:34,032 --> 00:50:37,992
Today was full of rain, it
was full of frustration.
1024
00:50:38,036 --> 00:50:40,244
We didn't finish
a single project.
1025
00:50:40,329 --> 00:50:42,747
Everywhere we started,
we couldn't quite finish.
1026
00:50:42,832 --> 00:50:45,374
So tomorrow, what's
it going to look like?
1027
00:50:45,460 --> 00:50:47,340
I have to put
together a new plan.
1028
00:50:47,378 --> 00:50:50,546
It has to be very
focused, very structured
1029
00:50:50,590 --> 00:50:55,551
and very much timed, otherwise
we will not get this done.
1030
00:51:19,869 --> 00:51:22,953
Yesterday we had
a fantastic day.
1031
00:51:23,039 --> 00:51:24,622
Eric had a breakthrough.
1032
00:51:24,707 --> 00:51:26,560
- I appreciate all that
you're doing to help me
1033
00:51:26,584 --> 00:51:29,418
realize what was taking
place in my life.
1034
00:51:29,462 --> 00:51:32,755
And I'm just, I feel like a
weak little kid right now.
1035
00:51:34,634 --> 00:51:37,093
I've been reduced to
rubble in a sense,
1036
00:51:37,178 --> 00:51:39,386
and maybe that's what
needed to happen.
1037
00:51:39,472 --> 00:51:42,515
- We're just loving
and sending energy.
1038
00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:44,100
It was wonderful.
1039
00:51:44,185 --> 00:51:47,895
And then I learned what georgia
thunderstorms are all about.
1040
00:52:01,828 --> 00:52:03,702
It completely shut us down
1041
00:52:03,788 --> 00:52:06,789
and we had to just
wait until it was over.
1042
00:52:06,833 --> 00:52:09,959
We lost hours, and now
we're behind the eight ball.
1043
00:52:33,943 --> 00:52:36,485
- I've called you
together because we had
1044
00:52:36,529 --> 00:52:41,532
an extremely emotional
conversation yesterday.
1045
00:52:42,869 --> 00:52:46,787
You were able to really
open up and bare your soul.
1046
00:52:46,873 --> 00:52:50,457
I know that the family
has a lot of feelings,
1047
00:52:50,501 --> 00:52:53,836
individually and
collectively about
1048
00:52:54,797 --> 00:52:57,840
the last years of sylvie's life.
1049
00:52:57,884 --> 00:53:00,301
I just want to give
you guys an opportunity
1050
00:53:00,344 --> 00:53:04,597
to share with eric what you feel
1051
00:53:04,682 --> 00:53:07,975
about what your
experience has been,
1052
00:53:08,060 --> 00:53:13,022
both before we started this
process and during the process.
1053
00:53:14,192 --> 00:53:15,669
I guess laurie,
let's start with you.
1054
00:53:15,693 --> 00:53:19,028
- With this experience, I just
think it's been incredible.
1055
00:53:19,113 --> 00:53:22,281
The change in you, and
I just have to tell you
1056
00:53:22,366 --> 00:53:26,118
I'm super proud of
you, this is fantastic.
1057
00:53:26,204 --> 00:53:29,788
And I hope we can keep
going after this too.
1058
00:53:29,874 --> 00:53:31,290
- rita?
1059
00:53:31,375 --> 00:53:34,877
- Yes, first I want to say the
change has been remarkable,
1060
00:53:34,921 --> 00:53:38,339
eric, and I'm very,
very proud of you.
1061
00:53:38,424 --> 00:53:41,467
What lori said about sylvie
loving beautiful things
1062
00:53:41,552 --> 00:53:44,261
around her, she had her
personality in the house.
1063
00:53:44,347 --> 00:53:46,597
The irony is in her last days,
1064
00:53:46,682 --> 00:53:48,891
she wasn't able to enjoy that,
1065
00:53:48,935 --> 00:53:51,852
and that made me feel very sad.
1066
00:53:51,938 --> 00:53:53,562
So I want to express that.
1067
00:53:54,565 --> 00:53:56,523
- marcus.
1068
00:53:56,567 --> 00:53:58,901
- It's great that
you're cleaning,
1069
00:53:58,986 --> 00:54:02,780
that you've decided to
clean up and honor sylvie,
1070
00:54:02,865 --> 00:54:05,616
but I think it's more
important that you,
1071
00:54:05,701 --> 00:54:09,078
that you de-hoard for yourself.
1072
00:54:11,249 --> 00:54:13,916
So you will feel
better about yourself
1073
00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:18,379
I think it'll be, it'll
be a wonderful thing.
1074
00:54:18,464 --> 00:54:22,591
- You are so lucky, eric,
to have these people here
1075
00:54:22,635 --> 00:54:25,469
because it's not uncommon that
the family has walked away
1076
00:54:25,554 --> 00:54:28,305
washing their hands because
they can't take it anymore.
1077
00:54:29,558 --> 00:54:31,718
Eric, do you want to say
anything to your family?
1078
00:54:33,062 --> 00:54:35,938
- I hope you'll forgive me
for not paying attention
1079
00:54:36,023 --> 00:54:39,483
to what was going on and
taking care of things
1080
00:54:39,568 --> 00:54:42,152
to cause this to happen.
1081
00:54:42,238 --> 00:54:45,864
I am truly sorry for that,
but I want to thank you
1082
00:54:45,950 --> 00:54:49,952
from the, as much as my little
heart can thank someone.
1083
00:54:51,330 --> 00:54:53,956
Thank you all for being
here and willing to come.
1084
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:55,040
- Happy to be here.
1085
00:54:55,126 --> 00:54:57,020
- And to take the
time out of your lives
1086
00:54:57,044 --> 00:54:59,795
and away from your
loved ones and family
1087
00:54:59,839 --> 00:55:02,673
and the things that y'all
were involved in to be here.
1088
00:55:02,758 --> 00:55:05,050
I just, I just want
to thank y'all.
1089
00:55:05,136 --> 00:55:09,930
- I'm gonna let you guys
be alone for a little bit.
1090
00:55:10,016 --> 00:55:12,099
- Oh my goodness.
1091
00:55:12,184 --> 00:55:13,184
You okay, eric?
1092
00:55:19,317 --> 00:55:22,151
Every time you start having
those negative feelings
1093
00:55:22,194 --> 00:55:24,570
about how you're, you know,
1094
00:55:24,655 --> 00:55:26,989
that maybe you can't do
this, this is overwhelming,
1095
00:55:27,033 --> 00:55:28,824
you don't know why you do this,
1096
00:55:28,868 --> 00:55:31,952
just reset your brain
and say "I can do this."
1097
00:55:32,038 --> 00:55:33,996
don't let the
negativism, you know,
1098
00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:38,208
get ahold of you
and bring you down.
1099
00:55:38,294 --> 00:55:39,752
- Thank you.
1100
00:55:39,837 --> 00:55:41,670
- You're welcome.
1101
00:55:41,714 --> 00:55:43,881
- Well, that was something.
1102
00:55:43,966 --> 00:55:45,507
Quit making me cry.
1103
00:55:48,346 --> 00:55:49,346
- Thank you, bro.
1104
00:55:50,389 --> 00:55:51,513
- No problem, brother.
1105
00:55:54,352 --> 00:55:58,020
- I felt like dr. Zasio
pulling the family together
1106
00:55:58,064 --> 00:56:03,025
was a healing experience to
hear from everybody there.
1107
00:56:04,403 --> 00:56:06,590
So I can put it in perspective
from our point of view.
1108
00:56:06,614 --> 00:56:08,697
Yeah, I think that
was really important.
1109
00:56:36,602 --> 00:56:38,685
- I'd like to try
a little tester.
1110
00:56:38,771 --> 00:56:39,978
Let's do a couple of bags.
1111
00:56:40,064 --> 00:56:41,208
See if you can look in it
1112
00:56:41,232 --> 00:56:43,732
and just say "dorothy,
let the whole bag go."
1113
00:56:43,776 --> 00:56:45,545
it's not sorting
all the way through.
1114
00:56:45,569 --> 00:56:46,985
It's just taking a peak.
1115
00:56:47,071 --> 00:56:48,423
- Okay.
- Willing?
1116
00:56:48,447 --> 00:56:49,363
- Yeah.
- Okay.
1117
00:56:49,407 --> 00:56:50,487
All right, here we go.
1118
00:56:50,533 --> 00:56:54,034
And let me hop onto
that side for you.
1119
00:56:54,078 --> 00:56:55,744
Here's bag number one.
1120
00:56:59,750 --> 00:57:02,334
I saw some stuff that
was actually brand new
1121
00:57:02,420 --> 00:57:06,088
and it's hard to believe that
that's moldy and mildewed.
1122
00:57:11,220 --> 00:57:12,220
- Now?
1123
00:57:13,139 --> 00:57:16,181
- Yeah, I know, and
it's it's important.
1124
00:57:16,267 --> 00:57:18,308
I just, it's gonna
be tough to me
1125
00:57:18,394 --> 00:57:21,437
to make that kind of decision.
1126
00:57:21,480 --> 00:57:25,274
These pants are, I can tell
you these have not been worn,
1127
00:57:26,318 --> 00:57:27,526
- yes.
1128
00:57:27,611 --> 00:57:29,339
And I hate to throw
something out that hasn't.
1129
00:57:29,363 --> 00:57:32,948
I mean, it's just that,
it's that kind of thing.
1130
00:57:32,992 --> 00:57:34,386
- Let's say put it
there for a second,
1131
00:57:34,410 --> 00:57:37,286
and let me just try to negotiate
with you in another way.
1132
00:57:37,329 --> 00:57:38,454
- Yeah.
1133
00:57:38,539 --> 00:57:40,956
And again, this isn't
for me to have my way.
1134
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:43,625
It's your house, your
stuff, your outcome.
1135
00:57:43,669 --> 00:57:46,003
- Yeah, but you're
the voice of reason
1136
00:57:46,088 --> 00:57:48,172
and sober mindedness, I can't.
1137
00:57:48,257 --> 00:57:50,549
- The other part, the
sober mindedness part
1138
00:57:50,634 --> 00:57:55,637
I want to share is
you've got 15,000 items.
1139
00:57:56,932 --> 00:57:58,660
Those pants are great,
so is the sweatshirt.
1140
00:57:58,684 --> 00:58:00,976
- Hard to toss
something like that.
1141
00:58:01,020 --> 00:58:02,956
I mean, I feel like I'm
throwing money in the...
1142
00:58:02,980 --> 00:58:05,063
- okay. So let's,
let's go there.
1143
00:58:05,274 --> 00:58:05,814
- Yeah.
1144
00:58:05,858 --> 00:58:07,107
- You are.
1145
00:58:07,193 --> 00:58:10,611
You are definitely throwing
money out the door.
1146
00:58:10,654 --> 00:58:13,405
It's money that's already spent.
1147
00:58:13,491 --> 00:58:16,158
There's nothing you can
do to get the money back.
1148
00:58:16,202 --> 00:58:19,244
You can't possibly wear all
the money that you spent.
1149
00:58:19,330 --> 00:58:21,288
You're stuck here.
1150
00:58:21,373 --> 00:58:24,666
- It is a lot of bags.
1151
00:58:27,213 --> 00:58:29,004
The pressure is mounting now.
1152
00:58:47,107 --> 00:58:48,524
- what year is this?
1153
00:58:48,567 --> 00:58:51,318
2012, that should be trash.
1154
00:59:04,416 --> 00:59:07,543
- we're in a bag now that
stinks, respectfully.
1155
00:59:07,586 --> 00:59:09,503
- It stinks, my treasure stink.
1156
00:59:10,631 --> 00:59:12,673
- I'd love for you
to consider saying
1157
00:59:12,716 --> 00:59:14,883
"okay, it stinks, let it go."
1158
00:59:14,927 --> 00:59:17,886
- yeah, no, that's the
thing, I can't smell it,
1159
00:59:17,930 --> 00:59:20,222
so it doesn't impress
me like it does you.
1160
00:59:21,433 --> 00:59:23,183
Oh, these are in bags too.
1161
00:59:26,438 --> 00:59:29,231
- They do have an odor,
not that it matters.
1162
00:59:29,275 --> 00:59:32,025
Just letting you know that
they do have mold and mildew.
1163
00:59:32,111 --> 00:59:33,402
- We're assuming they do.
1164
00:59:33,487 --> 00:59:34,528
- I'm smelling them.
1165
00:59:35,239 --> 00:59:36,239
- See, I can't.
1166
00:59:39,952 --> 00:59:41,410
- Oh, this.
1167
00:59:41,453 --> 00:59:42,619
- That hasn't been washed.
1168
00:59:42,705 --> 00:59:45,747
I mean, you know, I
realize nothing in here
1169
00:59:45,791 --> 00:59:50,752
has been washed for over
probably at least six months.
1170
00:59:50,838 --> 00:59:53,380
- So I'm going to give
you your statistics.
1171
00:59:53,465 --> 00:59:54,568
- give it to me.
1172
00:59:54,592 --> 00:59:56,758
- At this pace, it
will take us 18 hours
1173
00:59:56,802 --> 01:00:00,929
to complete these garbage
bags and those bins.
1174
01:00:00,973 --> 01:00:02,893
- Did you do well
in math in school?
1175
01:00:03,809 --> 01:00:05,601
- Um, I did all right.
1176
01:00:05,686 --> 01:00:07,163
- All right? No,
that's not good enough.
1177
01:00:07,187 --> 01:00:08,687
You gotta be at least an a-plus.
1178
01:00:08,772 --> 01:00:11,773
- But I did really, really
well in organizing math.
1179
01:00:11,859 --> 01:00:13,587
- Good. Yeah, now you
throw in that in my face.
1180
01:00:13,611 --> 01:00:15,944
- The organizing,
convincing math.
1181
01:00:21,327 --> 01:00:24,411
The issue is I'm trying
to encourage eric.
1182
01:00:24,455 --> 01:00:26,913
Because a lot of this smells.
1183
01:00:26,957 --> 01:00:28,915
- Yup, can smell it from here.
1184
01:00:29,001 --> 01:00:29,750
- His sniffer, he can't...
1185
01:00:29,835 --> 01:00:30,584
- can you really?
1186
01:00:30,669 --> 01:00:31,813
Geez. This is embarrassing.
1187
01:00:31,837 --> 01:00:35,130
Now you're telling me
my treasures stink.
1188
01:00:35,174 --> 01:00:38,634
Unfortunately, I treasured
many of these things.
1189
01:00:38,677 --> 01:00:41,178
- Eric, the key is
you treasured them,
1190
01:00:41,263 --> 01:00:43,138
you're not treasuring them now,
1191
01:00:43,182 --> 01:00:46,475
because they've been up here
for six months in the mold.
1192
01:00:46,518 --> 01:00:48,810
- Up in the mold?
Let's just dump it.
1193
01:00:48,854 --> 01:00:49,519
Let's just see what we got.
1194
01:00:49,605 --> 01:00:51,313
- Oh, no no no no no.
1195
01:00:52,358 --> 01:00:53,649
- You really serious?
1196
01:00:53,734 --> 01:00:55,295
You think you're seeing
mold fly through the air?
1197
01:00:55,319 --> 01:00:57,444
- it just smells, is all.
1198
01:00:57,529 --> 01:00:58,195
- I don't even feel it.
1199
01:00:58,280 --> 01:00:59,341
I don't even feel it.
1200
01:00:59,365 --> 01:01:00,781
- So I'm going to stop.
1201
01:01:00,824 --> 01:01:03,116
This now took 20
minutes, one bag.
1202
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:04,387
- Well we were talking a lot.
1203
01:01:04,411 --> 01:01:05,805
- no, you kept
moving the whole time,
1204
01:01:05,829 --> 01:01:06,620
I watched you.
1205
01:01:06,705 --> 01:01:07,871
- Let's do an experiment.
1206
01:01:07,956 --> 01:01:11,958
Pick a bag that you
don't have to go through
1207
01:01:12,002 --> 01:01:15,170
and we'll have
this fine young man
1208
01:01:15,255 --> 01:01:17,025
just take it down and
throw it on the dumpster.
1209
01:01:17,049 --> 01:01:18,465
- He's already got a bag.
1210
01:01:18,550 --> 01:01:19,694
- I can take another one.
1211
01:01:19,718 --> 01:01:21,677
- It's kind of like
going in a grab bag
1212
01:01:21,720 --> 01:01:23,178
and pulling something out,
1213
01:01:23,222 --> 01:01:26,682
just pick one bag
and just let it go.
1214
01:01:26,767 --> 01:01:27,849
- And just let it go.
1215
01:01:27,935 --> 01:01:30,644
- Just think how
relieving that will be.
1216
01:01:30,729 --> 01:01:31,645
- You think it, really?
1217
01:01:31,730 --> 01:01:33,105
Oh, I might start crying.
1218
01:01:33,148 --> 01:01:37,859
I hate to cry, cry over
missed treasures, you know?
1219
01:01:37,903 --> 01:01:39,361
- What do you think?
1220
01:01:39,446 --> 01:01:41,846
You want to be daring and bold
and risky and just take a bag
1221
01:01:41,907 --> 01:01:44,491
and not look through
it and just let it go?
1222
01:01:45,911 --> 01:01:48,537
- Yeah, that sounds
like a great idea.
1223
01:01:48,580 --> 01:01:51,873
We can do like a countdown
from five to one.
1224
01:01:51,917 --> 01:01:55,669
You pick a bag, any bag,
and then we'll just.
1225
01:01:57,089 --> 01:01:58,839
- Let me try another angle.
1226
01:01:58,924 --> 01:02:01,717
You've already told us you
can't do this on your own.
1227
01:02:01,802 --> 01:02:04,010
And I don't know how
much organizing help
1228
01:02:04,054 --> 01:02:05,887
we're gonna get when we leave,
1229
01:02:05,931 --> 01:02:09,224
but just think about
taking advantage of it now.
1230
01:02:09,268 --> 01:02:12,686
- We have 20 organizers
here every single day.
1231
01:02:12,771 --> 01:02:14,374
Let's just round it
off and say we're here
1232
01:02:14,398 --> 01:02:16,690
for 10 hours each day, right?
1233
01:02:16,775 --> 01:02:20,068
So what's that 200 hours a
day that we're putting in.
1234
01:02:20,154 --> 01:02:21,737
Over the course of four days,
1235
01:02:21,822 --> 01:02:24,197
two, four, six, 800
hours worth of time.
1236
01:02:24,241 --> 01:02:25,885
You divide that up
into work weeks.
1237
01:02:25,909 --> 01:02:28,994
We're doing months and
months worth of work.
1238
01:02:29,079 --> 01:02:32,456
So when dr. Zasio
actually says "do it now
1239
01:02:32,541 --> 01:02:36,376
while you've got the man
and woman power," do it.
1240
01:02:41,717 --> 01:02:42,944
- I can't just walk out of here
1241
01:02:42,968 --> 01:02:45,218
and turn my back on you, can I?
1242
01:02:45,262 --> 01:02:46,262
- No.
1243
01:02:46,305 --> 01:02:47,471
- I could, but.
1244
01:02:47,556 --> 01:02:48,638
- You could.
1245
01:02:48,724 --> 01:02:50,644
- It wouldn't do me
any good, would it?
1246
01:02:51,351 --> 01:02:53,935
It's just tough,
and you're pushing,
1247
01:02:54,021 --> 01:02:56,271
you're pushing the envelope
pretty hard, both of you.
1248
01:02:56,315 --> 01:02:58,273
- You will definitely
have some regret.
1249
01:02:58,317 --> 01:02:59,107
How could you not?
1250
01:02:59,193 --> 01:03:00,817
These are things that you loved.
1251
01:03:00,903 --> 01:03:03,445
On the other hand,
will you regret
1252
01:03:03,489 --> 01:03:06,114
that you don't move
forward with your life?
1253
01:03:06,158 --> 01:03:08,450
You're saying you don't want
to be stuck in this house.
1254
01:03:08,494 --> 01:03:09,512
You don't want to be alone.
1255
01:03:09,536 --> 01:03:11,264
You're meant to
be with somebody.
1256
01:03:11,288 --> 01:03:14,456
Well that somebody isn't
going to want to live here
1257
01:03:14,500 --> 01:03:15,916
in this kind of a situation.
1258
01:03:15,959 --> 01:03:17,417
- My clothes live here though.
1259
01:03:17,503 --> 01:03:18,335
- Yeah. I know.
1260
01:03:18,420 --> 01:03:19,795
- they enjoy being here.
1261
01:03:19,838 --> 01:03:21,296
- I know.
1262
01:03:21,381 --> 01:03:23,541
- Do you want your clothes
or do you want people?
1263
01:03:25,177 --> 01:03:26,177
- yeah.
1264
01:03:27,888 --> 01:03:29,930
- We're not here for this stuff.
1265
01:03:30,015 --> 01:03:32,265
We're here for
you to have a life
1266
01:03:32,351 --> 01:03:35,310
that you are still
destined to live.
1267
01:03:35,395 --> 01:03:36,311
- Mmm-hmm.
1268
01:03:36,396 --> 01:03:37,665
- So that's why I'm
pushing hard.
1269
01:03:37,689 --> 01:03:39,272
I really want the best for you.
1270
01:03:40,359 --> 01:03:41,483
- we both do.
1271
01:03:42,694 --> 01:03:45,320
- Well thank you for that.
I really appreciate that.
1272
01:03:45,364 --> 01:03:46,364
- You're welcome.
1273
01:03:49,326 --> 01:03:51,993
- All right, if I can get
one hug out of you a year,
1274
01:03:54,164 --> 01:03:55,164
I'll let this go.
1275
01:03:57,543 --> 01:03:58,853
- all these bags are gonna go
1276
01:03:58,877 --> 01:04:00,502
down to the drop zone, correct?
1277
01:04:00,546 --> 01:04:02,504
- No, to the trash,
inside the trash.
1278
01:04:03,882 --> 01:04:04,631
- Oh, inside.
1279
01:04:04,716 --> 01:04:06,007
- In it, all the way in it.
1280
01:04:08,595 --> 01:04:12,347
In terms of the clothing, we
were able to let go all of it,
1281
01:04:12,432 --> 01:04:13,682
or rather eric did.
1282
01:04:15,269 --> 01:04:17,853
It was like such a breakthrough.
1283
01:04:27,072 --> 01:04:30,031
I think this is all
sylvie's clothing.
1284
01:04:32,911 --> 01:04:34,828
- Yeah, that's all sylvie's.
1285
01:04:34,872 --> 01:04:36,830
- Do you want to
review any of it?
1286
01:04:36,915 --> 01:04:38,832
Do you want the
gals to review it?
1287
01:04:38,917 --> 01:04:40,208
Do you not want to see it?
1288
01:04:42,087 --> 01:04:44,546
- I'm seeing it now.
1289
01:04:48,719 --> 01:04:50,446
- eric, this is a time
that you have to tell us
1290
01:04:50,470 --> 01:04:54,014
if it's too much, 'cause
I know we're pushing you,
1291
01:04:54,057 --> 01:04:56,391
but if it's too much, then it's,
1292
01:04:57,561 --> 01:05:00,687
that's not the goal
is to push you.
1293
01:05:00,731 --> 01:05:05,567
- When dr. Zasio
steps in and says
1294
01:05:05,611 --> 01:05:09,529
"this is the time to really
consider your wellbeing."
1295
01:05:09,615 --> 01:05:12,240
all bets are off, you need
to do what's best for you.
1296
01:05:14,828 --> 01:05:16,598
- You know, to talk
about memories,
1297
01:05:16,622 --> 01:05:18,747
I mean, I remember
all these clothes
1298
01:05:18,790 --> 01:05:20,081
and how she looked in them,
1299
01:05:22,294 --> 01:05:24,174
and what a beautiful
woman she was.
1300
01:05:26,798 --> 01:05:28,423
Well, to tell you the truth,
1301
01:05:28,467 --> 01:05:31,426
if I was to as sylvie what
should I do with this?
1302
01:05:31,470 --> 01:05:34,095
She would probably tell me
"just get rid of it, eric,
1303
01:05:34,139 --> 01:05:35,764
you don't need it."
1304
01:05:35,849 --> 01:05:37,952
- you don't have to make
a decision in this moment.
1305
01:05:37,976 --> 01:05:39,935
We can walk away.
1306
01:05:39,978 --> 01:05:43,605
You've let these clothes
go, which is super amazing.
1307
01:05:43,649 --> 01:05:47,275
But if you, if you need a
little bit of time to digest it,
1308
01:05:47,361 --> 01:05:49,569
then I think that's
super reasonable.
1309
01:05:50,656 --> 01:05:52,781
- I'm on board with
whatever you say.
1310
01:05:55,160 --> 01:05:56,284
- It's hard to utter,
1311
01:05:57,454 --> 01:05:59,955
it's hard to utter the
words, to tell you the truth.
1312
01:06:03,001 --> 01:06:04,881
I never really
thought it would be,
1313
01:06:11,468 --> 01:06:14,094
but we have to say
goodbye some time.
1314
01:06:25,691 --> 01:06:28,942
I just have to say goodbye.
1315
01:06:48,755 --> 01:06:49,755
Oh jesus.
1316
01:06:52,092 --> 01:06:54,801
I just said sylvie's just
saying "take it away."
1317
01:06:57,055 --> 01:06:58,975
- dorothy, can I ask a question?
1318
01:06:59,016 --> 01:07:00,140
- Yep.
1319
01:07:00,183 --> 01:07:02,142
- There are lots
of women out there
1320
01:07:02,185 --> 01:07:03,852
who don't have a lot of money
1321
01:07:03,895 --> 01:07:07,856
that needs suits for job
interviews, things like that.
1322
01:07:09,401 --> 01:07:11,818
If they're in good condition,
can we donate them?
1323
01:07:12,904 --> 01:07:14,320
- Absolutely.
1324
01:07:14,364 --> 01:07:17,198
- She'd appreciate that.
1325
01:07:17,242 --> 01:07:18,242
I would too.
1326
01:07:21,705 --> 01:07:23,830
So, take it away.
1327
01:07:44,770 --> 01:07:48,104
- do we have an area
where we're keeping books?
1328
01:07:55,864 --> 01:07:58,073
I think he knows how to
speak german pretty well.
1329
01:07:58,158 --> 01:08:00,011
I don't know why he
needs these books
1330
01:08:00,035 --> 01:08:01,155
on how to speak german.
1331
01:08:02,329 --> 01:08:04,662
He's got lots of
paperwork to go through,
1332
01:08:04,748 --> 01:08:08,917
piles and piles of
books, bills, documents.
1333
01:08:10,003 --> 01:08:11,843
- Well, I wonder
how old this is.
1334
01:08:11,880 --> 01:08:13,816
I don't see how he can
possibly keep track
1335
01:08:13,840 --> 01:08:15,340
of his financial situation
1336
01:08:15,425 --> 01:08:17,111
the way he's got
it organized now.
1337
01:08:17,135 --> 01:08:18,635
- $640.
1338
01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:19,469
- dang.
1339
01:08:19,554 --> 01:08:20,303
- It's all shirts and pants.
1340
01:08:20,388 --> 01:08:21,491
- shirts and pants.
1341
01:08:21,515 --> 01:08:23,155
- Jackets - 640 bucks.
1342
01:08:24,267 --> 01:08:26,329
Dang, was he planning a major
expedition or something?
1343
01:08:26,353 --> 01:08:28,144
- Ah, must've been.
1344
01:08:51,294 --> 01:08:52,480
- I was in the
back of the house,
1345
01:08:52,504 --> 01:08:53,606
and I looked through the woods,
1346
01:08:53,630 --> 01:08:57,507
and I saw eric deep
down in the woods
1347
01:08:57,592 --> 01:09:00,093
sitting on a chair
all by himself.
1348
01:09:00,178 --> 01:09:03,096
It's been a really
emotional process for him,
1349
01:09:03,181 --> 01:09:05,056
and I thought it
was important to go
1350
01:09:05,142 --> 01:09:06,850
and see what's going on.
1351
01:09:06,935 --> 01:09:09,269
I just wanted to make
sure you were okay.
1352
01:09:09,354 --> 01:09:11,521
- I made some
decisions yesterday I regret,
1353
01:09:11,606 --> 01:09:13,940
and I don't need
any more regrets.
1354
01:09:15,277 --> 01:09:17,004
Last night, when
I wandered around
1355
01:09:17,028 --> 01:09:19,279
and went into each
room that I could,
1356
01:09:19,364 --> 01:09:22,949
and I laid down on my bed
in the master bedroom,
1357
01:09:23,034 --> 01:09:26,327
and just, none of
it felt the same.
1358
01:09:26,413 --> 01:09:29,455
I laid down on the leather
couches in the library,
1359
01:09:29,541 --> 01:09:33,918
and I just, it all
felt foreign to me.
1360
01:09:34,004 --> 01:09:35,503
It didn't feel like home,
1361
01:09:35,589 --> 01:09:37,630
and that's just a
strange thing to have.
1362
01:09:39,050 --> 01:09:43,553
Even though I know it's my
home, I couldn't absorb it.
1363
01:09:43,638 --> 01:09:47,682
- eric, it is
completely understandable
1364
01:09:47,767 --> 01:09:49,184
that it feels foreign to you,
1365
01:09:49,269 --> 01:09:53,688
because you have been living
a different way for so long.
1366
01:09:54,900 --> 01:09:56,700
You've done a lotta work,
1367
01:09:56,776 --> 01:09:59,402
a lot of work psychologically.
1368
01:09:59,487 --> 01:10:00,653
You have.
1369
01:10:00,739 --> 01:10:02,488
It's been very painful for you.
1370
01:10:03,617 --> 01:10:05,700
Very, very painful,
and I understand that.
1371
01:10:07,078 --> 01:10:09,162
- the overwhelming
thought of all this
1372
01:10:09,247 --> 01:10:11,167
is that I won't be
able to keep this up.
1373
01:10:15,003 --> 01:10:16,397
- the house the way it is now
1374
01:10:16,421 --> 01:10:18,296
versus the house it was before.
1375
01:10:18,381 --> 01:10:19,589
- yeah.
1376
01:10:19,674 --> 01:10:21,152
- it's the same house,
1377
01:10:21,176 --> 01:10:24,135
so that same concept of I'm
not sure I can keep this up
1378
01:10:24,221 --> 01:10:27,013
is there, right, no matter
what condition it was in.
1379
01:10:27,098 --> 01:10:29,807
Was in, is in, so we're
in that same place.
1380
01:10:29,893 --> 01:10:32,685
But the condition it's in now,
1381
01:10:32,771 --> 01:10:34,771
it has promise and opportunity.
1382
01:10:34,856 --> 01:10:36,439
You could get a renter.
1383
01:10:36,524 --> 01:10:37,774
- yeah.
1384
01:10:37,817 --> 01:10:39,712
- that would
bring in some income.
1385
01:10:39,736 --> 01:10:42,695
If you decide to
sell this house,
1386
01:10:42,781 --> 01:10:45,198
scale down to something
that's more manageable,
1387
01:10:45,283 --> 01:10:48,993
the value of the house
today versus five days ago
1388
01:10:49,079 --> 01:10:50,954
is completely different.
1389
01:10:51,039 --> 01:10:52,330
- yeah.
1390
01:10:52,415 --> 01:10:53,164
- because what
they would be looking at
1391
01:10:53,250 --> 01:10:54,370
is what do we have to do
1392
01:10:54,417 --> 01:10:57,377
to pay someone to get
the landscaping up,
1393
01:10:57,462 --> 01:10:59,796
the pool up, the stuff out,
1394
01:10:59,881 --> 01:11:02,006
'cause you wouldn't
have been able to do it,
1395
01:11:02,092 --> 01:11:04,592
physically or had the resources.
1396
01:11:04,678 --> 01:11:07,428
I don't ever want to negate
anything that you're saying,
1397
01:11:07,514 --> 01:11:10,265
because it's your experience.
1398
01:11:11,643 --> 01:11:14,519
I guess for me, I'm
trying to help you to see
1399
01:11:14,604 --> 01:11:19,232
that even though this has
been so difficult for you
1400
01:11:19,317 --> 01:11:22,902
that there is some good
that has come out of it.
1401
01:11:22,988 --> 01:11:26,364
And if you can focus on
that, it can help to maybe
1402
01:11:26,449 --> 01:11:29,242
deal with the difficulty
a little bit more.
1403
01:11:31,496 --> 01:11:32,556
- thanks for your time.
1404
01:11:32,580 --> 01:11:33,740
- absolutely.
1405
01:11:33,790 --> 01:11:34,934
I'll let you be
for a little bit.
1406
01:11:34,958 --> 01:11:35,748
- well, I'll...
1407
01:11:35,834 --> 01:11:36,457
- you gonna come up?
1408
01:11:36,543 --> 01:11:37,983
- Yeah.
- Okay.
1409
01:11:39,129 --> 01:11:41,107
It's understandable
that he's struggling
1410
01:11:41,131 --> 01:11:42,255
to the degree that he is
1411
01:11:42,340 --> 01:11:46,592
because he was so
connected to his stuff.
1412
01:11:46,678 --> 01:11:50,054
But I do feel that
he's gonna be okay.
1413
01:11:50,140 --> 01:11:52,326
We're gonna to provide him
with aftercare services.
1414
01:11:52,350 --> 01:11:55,393
We're gonna provide him with
continued organizing services
1415
01:11:55,478 --> 01:11:58,771
so that he has the ongoing
help that he's gonna need.
1416
01:12:08,658 --> 01:12:09,760
- whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
1417
01:12:09,784 --> 01:12:12,618
Guys, guys, guys,
hang on one second.
1418
01:12:12,704 --> 01:12:13,786
- Is that the bed?
1419
01:12:13,872 --> 01:12:15,121
- Yeah.
1420
01:12:15,206 --> 01:12:18,333
I stopped these
guys in the middle.
1421
01:12:18,418 --> 01:12:21,294
Some people would say,
"it's just a bed."
1422
01:12:21,379 --> 01:12:22,795
- yeah.
1423
01:12:22,881 --> 01:12:25,067
- Others would say, "holy cow,
this is where my wife slept
1424
01:12:25,091 --> 01:12:28,343
"for many months," longer.
1425
01:12:29,763 --> 01:12:32,680
So I don't want it to go out
without you just at least...
1426
01:12:34,017 --> 01:12:34,807
- Yeah.
1427
01:12:34,893 --> 01:12:35,911
- Well, stripped down like that,
1428
01:12:35,935 --> 01:12:37,371
it looks like a
bed of pain to me,
1429
01:12:37,395 --> 01:12:38,978
and that's what it was for her.
1430
01:12:39,064 --> 01:12:40,708
It was a bed of
pain and suffering,
1431
01:12:40,732 --> 01:12:45,485
and I am more than happy
to say goodbye to it.
1432
01:12:46,946 --> 01:12:48,786
There's not fond
and memories of it.
1433
01:12:48,823 --> 01:12:50,114
- yeah.
1434
01:12:50,200 --> 01:12:52,825
- Especially stripped of
a mattress and everything,
1435
01:12:52,911 --> 01:12:55,161
it looks very uncomfortable,
1436
01:12:55,246 --> 01:12:57,580
and she was very
uncomfortable in it.
1437
01:12:57,665 --> 01:13:00,833
- I have memories of
szilvie in this bed
1438
01:13:00,919 --> 01:13:04,587
in the last days, and it
wasn't pleasant to see.
1439
01:13:04,672 --> 01:13:06,047
- 'cause she was a champ.
1440
01:13:06,132 --> 01:13:09,050
She's the most courageous
woman I've ever known
1441
01:13:10,220 --> 01:13:12,060
to go through all
that in this bed.
1442
01:13:12,097 --> 01:13:14,305
So thanks for taking
care of it for me.
1443
01:13:14,391 --> 01:13:15,056
- Off it goes!
1444
01:13:15,100 --> 01:13:16,474
Thank you, gentlemen.
1445
01:13:16,559 --> 01:13:18,119
Thank you. - Adios.
1446
01:13:29,114 --> 01:13:30,530
- so what is this?
1447
01:13:30,615 --> 01:13:32,426
You're talking about books
that I shouldn't keep?
1448
01:13:32,450 --> 01:13:34,409
- just get rid of 'em, right.
1449
01:13:34,494 --> 01:13:36,305
- I know that you got some
valuable books in here
1450
01:13:36,329 --> 01:13:37,912
you don't wanna part with.
1451
01:13:37,997 --> 01:13:39,038
- yeah, I do.
1452
01:13:42,377 --> 01:13:44,001
- we're boxing up the books.
1453
01:13:44,087 --> 01:13:46,045
You and I already negotiated.
1454
01:13:47,424 --> 01:13:49,276
You can, you know, you
get rid of some clothes,
1455
01:13:49,300 --> 01:13:50,986
we'll let you keep
some books, you know?
1456
01:13:51,010 --> 01:13:53,719
- They're nice books, but
nobody needs this many books
1457
01:13:53,805 --> 01:13:55,930
unless they have
somewhere to put 'em.
1458
01:13:57,267 --> 01:13:58,911
And just to put 'em
up back in the attic
1459
01:13:58,935 --> 01:14:00,393
makes no sense at all.
1460
01:14:03,022 --> 01:14:04,917
- I know it makes no
sense to put it back
1461
01:14:04,941 --> 01:14:06,232
in the attic whatsoever.
1462
01:14:06,276 --> 01:14:07,586
- I mean, I know you gotta
do what you gotta do.
1463
01:14:07,610 --> 01:14:09,861
- I know, but it's
a negotiation,
1464
01:14:09,946 --> 01:14:12,780
and he did get rid
of nearly 10,000
1465
01:14:12,866 --> 01:14:14,198
pieces of clothing yesterday.
1466
01:14:14,284 --> 01:14:16,200
That's pretty amazing.
1467
01:14:16,286 --> 01:14:20,037
We have the equivalent of
six tons worth of stuff
1468
01:14:20,123 --> 01:14:22,665
that he got rid of yesterday.
1469
01:14:22,750 --> 01:14:25,334
So, we have to look at
what he's done, and...
1470
01:14:25,420 --> 01:14:28,504
- but he hasn't gotten rid
of any books yet, right?
1471
01:14:28,590 --> 01:14:29,255
- No.
1472
01:14:29,340 --> 01:14:30,443
- Okay.
- No books.
1473
01:14:30,467 --> 01:14:32,550
Family members,
they don't wanna see
1474
01:14:32,635 --> 01:14:36,179
20 or 30 boxes of books
going inside the house again.
1475
01:14:36,264 --> 01:14:38,347
They are trying
to discourage eric
1476
01:14:38,433 --> 01:14:40,308
to get rid of all
of these books,
1477
01:14:40,393 --> 01:14:41,559
but it's not gonna happen.
1478
01:14:41,644 --> 01:14:43,936
This is just one where
he's holding his ground,
1479
01:14:44,022 --> 01:14:46,606
and actually, I support it.
1480
01:15:34,781 --> 01:15:36,989
Here we go.
1481
01:15:37,075 --> 01:15:38,658
Ah.
1482
01:15:38,743 --> 01:15:39,887
- It's a nice, cool house.
1483
01:15:39,911 --> 01:15:40,993
- It's a cool house.
1484
01:15:41,079 --> 01:15:42,515
- Oh my goodness!
- Oh my gosh!
1485
01:15:42,539 --> 01:15:43,539
- Wow.
1486
01:15:47,252 --> 01:15:48,709
- Wow.
- Oh wow.
1487
01:15:48,753 --> 01:15:49,753
- Got mom and dad.
1488
01:15:49,796 --> 01:15:51,337
- yeah, mom and dad.
1489
01:15:51,422 --> 01:15:52,171
- Look at that.
1490
01:15:52,257 --> 01:15:54,048
- That's szilvie's ashes.
1491
01:15:54,092 --> 01:15:55,049
Oh my goodness.
1492
01:15:55,093 --> 01:15:56,717
- Is that okay?
1493
01:15:56,761 --> 01:15:57,510
- Yeah, that's fine.
1494
01:15:57,595 --> 01:15:59,554
I was waiting for a place,
1495
01:15:59,639 --> 01:16:01,681
and as the organizer you are,
1496
01:16:01,724 --> 01:16:02,910
you found the place to put them.
1497
01:16:02,934 --> 01:16:04,286
- That's beautiful.
- It is.
1498
01:16:04,310 --> 01:16:05,226
- This is under her
mother's painting.
1499
01:16:05,311 --> 01:16:08,563
That's a perfect spot.
1500
01:16:08,606 --> 01:16:10,231
- The house looks so good.
1501
01:16:10,275 --> 01:16:12,233
Just walking into the foyer
1502
01:16:12,277 --> 01:16:15,903
and seeing how it didn't
have a lot of things in it,
1503
01:16:15,947 --> 01:16:19,073
it was all organized, and
seeing all the beautiful things
1504
01:16:19,117 --> 01:16:21,701
that szilvie had and loved.
1505
01:16:21,786 --> 01:16:24,203
- She loved blue delft
too, the blue delft.
1506
01:16:24,289 --> 01:16:26,539
- Yeah, this is her
favorite collection
1507
01:16:26,583 --> 01:16:28,416
of pottery right here.
1508
01:16:29,794 --> 01:16:32,106
- Just going through the house,
my mouth just dropped open.
1509
01:16:32,130 --> 01:16:33,254
It was so beautiful.
1510
01:16:33,339 --> 01:16:34,608
- Wow.
- Come on in.
1511
01:16:34,632 --> 01:16:36,716
- Oh my god.
- Oh, look at this!
1512
01:16:36,801 --> 01:16:38,718
- What?
- Oh my, wow.
1513
01:16:38,761 --> 01:16:40,739
- I'm literally
floored by this here.
1514
01:16:40,763 --> 01:16:42,597
- yeah, oh, look at it.
1515
01:16:42,640 --> 01:16:43,701
- I need to sit down.
1516
01:16:43,725 --> 01:16:45,119
- your own little place here.
1517
01:16:45,143 --> 01:16:46,412
This is something.
- Spectacular.
1518
01:16:46,436 --> 01:16:48,185
- yeah.
1519
01:16:51,858 --> 01:16:52,648
It looks good.
1520
01:16:52,692 --> 01:16:53,794
- looks real good.
1521
01:16:53,818 --> 01:16:55,421
- szilvie would be very happy.
1522
01:16:55,445 --> 01:16:56,445
- yeah.
1523
01:16:57,697 --> 01:16:59,113
Yeah, she would be.
1524
01:17:09,000 --> 01:17:11,375
- it's like she's
officially gone.
1525
01:17:17,216 --> 01:17:19,278
This is where she spent
her last days of her life
1526
01:17:19,302 --> 01:17:22,136
and it's just hard
to walk in there
1527
01:17:22,221 --> 01:17:23,471
and there's nothing here
1528
01:17:26,184 --> 01:17:28,643
except for decorations
that she was here.
1529
01:17:29,687 --> 01:17:32,313
- Eric, that bed being gone
1530
01:17:32,357 --> 01:17:35,983
doesn't represent her
spirit being gone.
1531
01:17:36,027 --> 01:17:38,611
And you got so used to
that bed being in here,
1532
01:17:38,655 --> 01:17:41,280
it became a part of you.
1533
01:17:41,324 --> 01:17:44,492
The condition of this room now
1534
01:17:44,535 --> 01:17:47,787
allows you to have
her spirit in here.
1535
01:17:49,165 --> 01:17:51,499
She's still right
next to your bed.
1536
01:17:51,542 --> 01:17:52,542
- Yeah.
1537
01:17:59,884 --> 01:18:03,469
It's refreshing to
see things can change.
1538
01:18:07,892 --> 01:18:08,683
- Thank you.
1539
01:18:08,726 --> 01:18:10,351
Thank you for cleaning it up
1540
01:18:10,395 --> 01:18:14,480
and making it usable
and functional again,
1541
01:18:14,565 --> 01:18:17,191
where it wasn't before.
1542
01:18:19,696 --> 01:18:21,904
It's an amazing transformation.
1543
01:18:21,989 --> 01:18:23,698
- Yes.
- Yes, it is.
1544
01:18:23,783 --> 01:18:25,241
- You can only grieve so long,
1545
01:18:25,284 --> 01:18:29,870
and I think the squalor of his
home was a conducive to this
1546
01:18:29,956 --> 01:18:32,873
depressed grieving
state of mind he's in.
1547
01:18:32,917 --> 01:18:37,044
And I think now, hopefully he
can move on past the grieving
1548
01:18:37,130 --> 01:18:38,357
and do great things in his life,
1549
01:18:38,381 --> 01:18:40,715
because he's a
really talented guy
1550
01:18:40,758 --> 01:18:43,175
and I hope he can
express that talent.
1551
01:18:43,261 --> 01:18:45,845
- I think this looks pretty
much the same as it did
1552
01:18:46,764 --> 01:18:48,117
when it was
originally decorated.
1553
01:18:48,141 --> 01:18:49,368
- Oh my gosh, look at it.
- Come on in.
1554
01:18:49,392 --> 01:18:50,725
- Oh, beautiful.
1555
01:18:52,812 --> 01:18:54,019
Looks beautiful.
1556
01:18:54,063 --> 01:18:56,063
- We had a lot of
good times here.
1557
01:18:56,107 --> 01:18:56,856
- Did you?
1558
01:18:56,941 --> 01:18:58,274
- Thanksgiving.
1559
01:18:58,359 --> 01:19:00,587
Szilvie's hungarian mother
made us hungarian goulash.
1560
01:19:00,611 --> 01:19:01,902
That was something.
1561
01:19:01,946 --> 01:19:02,570
- This nice?
1562
01:19:02,655 --> 01:19:04,405
- Yes, it's beautiful.
1563
01:19:04,449 --> 01:19:07,742
- The last time I had a
dinner in that dining room,
1564
01:19:07,785 --> 01:19:10,202
my daughter was 12
and my son was 10,
1565
01:19:10,288 --> 01:19:14,915
and now my daughter is
32 and my son is 28.
1566
01:19:15,001 --> 01:19:15,791
Fantastic.
1567
01:19:15,835 --> 01:19:16,584
- Beautiful.
- Wonderful.
1568
01:19:16,669 --> 01:19:17,793
Dorothy, thank you.
1569
01:19:18,796 --> 01:19:21,547
Thank you for giving
us a gathering place.
1570
01:19:21,632 --> 01:19:23,466
Family gathering place.
1571
01:19:23,551 --> 01:19:25,926
- I've been wanting to
do a family dinner there.
1572
01:19:26,012 --> 01:19:28,429
And also, as far as
the kitchen goes,
1573
01:19:28,473 --> 01:19:30,139
just being able to cook a meal.
1574
01:19:30,224 --> 01:19:34,059
So I'm really excited to have
a family meal there with eric.
1575
01:19:34,771 --> 01:19:35,771
- Oh wow.
1576
01:19:37,648 --> 01:19:38,959
My goodness. - Oh my gosh.
1577
01:19:38,983 --> 01:19:40,941
Oh, all your musical pieces.
1578
01:19:40,985 --> 01:19:42,004
- his music studio.
1579
01:19:42,028 --> 01:19:43,464
- This is fantastic.
- Look at this.
1580
01:19:43,488 --> 01:19:44,798
You can have your desk over
there with your computer.
1581
01:19:44,822 --> 01:19:46,280
- or writing station,
1582
01:19:46,365 --> 01:19:47,801
as I like to think of it.
- Or writing station.
1583
01:19:47,825 --> 01:19:50,618
- The whole point here is
to be surrounded by szilvie.
1584
01:19:51,496 --> 01:19:52,203
Yeah. - Yes.
1585
01:19:52,288 --> 01:19:53,557
Yes. - Yeah.
1586
01:19:53,581 --> 01:19:58,292
And then for you to try
to, inside of that love,
1587
01:20:00,004 --> 01:20:03,923
find your way through your
own passions of music,
1588
01:20:04,008 --> 01:20:06,467
and writing, and books.
1589
01:20:06,511 --> 01:20:09,804
- I'm just flabbergasted by
what this room looks like
1590
01:20:09,889 --> 01:20:11,972
compared to just a
week ago at this time,
1591
01:20:12,058 --> 01:20:15,684
it didn't look like this,
and its remake is remarkable.
1592
01:20:16,854 --> 01:20:19,605
Again, szilvie would
just say, "you dumbbell,
1593
01:20:19,690 --> 01:20:21,941
"why did it take you
so long to do this?"
1594
01:20:21,984 --> 01:20:22,775
- yes.
1595
01:20:22,819 --> 01:20:23,819
- Yep.
1596
01:20:24,904 --> 01:20:26,824
- she'd be smacking
me upside the head.
1597
01:20:26,864 --> 01:20:29,323
- Here we are full of success,
1598
01:20:29,367 --> 01:20:30,699
but wait a minute,
1599
01:20:30,785 --> 01:20:35,162
I am really concerned that
eric kept a lot of things.
1600
01:20:35,206 --> 01:20:38,165
Got rid of six tons worth of
stuff, thank you very much,
1601
01:20:38,251 --> 01:20:41,001
but you also have the
equivalent of 3000 boxes
1602
01:20:41,087 --> 01:20:42,253
still in the house.
1603
01:20:42,338 --> 01:20:43,649
They're in the attic,
they're in the sunroom,
1604
01:20:43,673 --> 01:20:45,339
they're in the garage.
1605
01:20:45,424 --> 01:20:48,843
He still has financial
bills, paperwork,
1606
01:20:48,886 --> 01:20:50,636
taxes that need to be filed.
1607
01:20:50,680 --> 01:20:52,054
His family is going to help him.
1608
01:20:52,139 --> 01:20:55,683
They all know where it's at,
but it does need to get done.
1609
01:20:55,726 --> 01:20:57,538
Even if we have another
organizer come back
1610
01:20:57,562 --> 01:20:58,769
to work with him,
1611
01:20:58,813 --> 01:21:01,355
I think that person also
needs to be clued in
1612
01:21:01,399 --> 01:21:03,023
because we need to take care of
1613
01:21:03,067 --> 01:21:05,027
any financial
obligations that he has.
1614
01:21:06,821 --> 01:21:11,991
- I appreciate y'all
giving me some value,
1615
01:21:12,034 --> 01:21:16,662
and by being here I feel valued.
1616
01:21:16,747 --> 01:21:19,039
I really didn't feel
very valued before.
1617
01:21:19,125 --> 01:21:23,878
I mean, because all
I could see was my
1618
01:21:23,921 --> 01:21:26,005
not so wonderful handiwork.
1619
01:21:27,091 --> 01:21:28,891
- I couldn't ask
for anything more
1620
01:21:28,926 --> 01:21:31,552
in terms of the progression
of eric's growth
1621
01:21:31,637 --> 01:21:32,845
during this process.
1622
01:21:32,930 --> 01:21:34,889
He's exactly where
he needs to be.
1623
01:21:34,974 --> 01:21:39,059
What I'm most concerned
about is when I leave.
1624
01:21:39,103 --> 01:21:42,062
There are a lot of people
right now giving him support
1625
01:21:42,106 --> 01:21:45,399
and he is going to be
alone in this house.
1626
01:21:45,443 --> 01:21:47,735
This is really when things
are going to kick in for him.
1627
01:21:47,820 --> 01:21:49,780
He's going to have
to find the strength
1628
01:21:49,822 --> 01:21:53,741
and the determination to
not open up that computer
1629
01:21:53,784 --> 01:21:56,410
and go to the web
and start shopping.
1630
01:21:56,495 --> 01:21:58,370
So, the final touch
1631
01:21:58,414 --> 01:22:00,581
that dorothy and I
would like to offer you,
1632
01:22:00,666 --> 01:22:03,584
and we've talked a little bit
about this, is after care.
1633
01:22:03,628 --> 01:22:04,460
- Yes.
- Okay?
1634
01:22:04,503 --> 01:22:07,254
And that will include therapy,
1635
01:22:07,298 --> 01:22:09,443
which you have already said
that you would embrace,
1636
01:22:09,467 --> 01:22:11,425
and I'm holding you to it.
1637
01:22:11,469 --> 01:22:12,259
- Okay.
1638
01:22:12,303 --> 01:22:13,427
- okay?
1639
01:22:13,512 --> 01:22:15,324
And dorothy is going
to work to find someone
1640
01:22:15,348 --> 01:22:17,681
who will come to your home
and continue to help you
1641
01:22:17,767 --> 01:22:22,811
go through the boxes
that are in your rooms.
1642
01:22:24,190 --> 01:22:25,709
- I'm just glad that he's
able to get some aftercare,
1643
01:22:25,733 --> 01:22:27,191
get some support.
1644
01:22:27,234 --> 01:22:30,945
He's going to have a organizer
and a therapist to help him.
1645
01:22:31,030 --> 01:22:36,075
I think now he can really
honor szilvie with this house
1646
01:22:37,328 --> 01:22:39,139
and keep it looking beautiful
with respect to her.
1647
01:22:39,163 --> 01:22:43,582
This gives them a goal to
have, gives him some purpose.
1648
01:22:43,626 --> 01:22:45,125
I think he'll do well.
1649
01:22:45,211 --> 01:22:46,293
I hope he'll do well.
1650
01:22:47,797 --> 01:22:50,798
- Especially want to
thank my brother, marcus,
1651
01:22:50,883 --> 01:22:52,778
who kicked me in the
butt several times
1652
01:22:52,802 --> 01:22:54,468
about getting this done.
1653
01:22:54,512 --> 01:22:56,637
All I could do is get
mad at them and say,
1654
01:22:57,848 --> 01:22:58,992
"you don't know what
you're talking about,"
1655
01:22:59,016 --> 01:23:00,808
even though he did.
1656
01:23:00,851 --> 01:23:02,496
But that's what big
brothers are for,
1657
01:23:02,520 --> 01:23:05,145
to remind you where
you fall short.
1658
01:23:05,231 --> 01:23:06,500
- Well worth every second of it.
1659
01:23:06,524 --> 01:23:07,398
- Well, I'm glad.
1660
01:23:07,441 --> 01:23:09,274
And my brother, he's very busy.
1661
01:23:09,360 --> 01:23:10,651
He works in a hospital.
1662
01:23:10,736 --> 01:23:13,654
He had to take the
time out to be here.
1663
01:23:13,739 --> 01:23:15,280
I really do appreciate you.
1664
01:23:15,366 --> 01:23:16,490
- Happy to do it.
1665
01:23:16,534 --> 01:23:17,324
- Thank you.
- Very happy.
1666
01:23:17,368 --> 01:23:18,492
- Yeah.
1667
01:23:18,536 --> 01:23:19,618
I'm glad.
1668
01:23:19,704 --> 01:23:22,162
Mom and dad would be
very happy to see this
1669
01:23:22,206 --> 01:23:25,457
and see us united in
this way for this effort.
1670
01:23:25,501 --> 01:23:26,917
And thank you, laurie,
1671
01:23:27,003 --> 01:23:29,962
for being willing to take time
away from your job as well.
1672
01:23:30,006 --> 01:23:31,630
I just can't thank y'all enough.
1673
01:23:31,716 --> 01:23:32,840
- It's been a pleasure.
1674
01:23:32,883 --> 01:23:35,676
- And then rita was so willing,
1675
01:23:36,887 --> 01:23:39,513
and, you know, she
could've just said,
1676
01:23:39,557 --> 01:23:40,617
"it's your problem, eric."
1677
01:23:40,641 --> 01:23:43,017
but she said she
made it her problem.
1678
01:23:43,060 --> 01:23:45,019
I appreciate that.
1679
01:23:45,062 --> 01:23:46,248
That y'all all took the time
1680
01:23:46,272 --> 01:23:48,856
to make my problem your problem,
1681
01:23:48,941 --> 01:23:51,859
and give me a helping hand.
1682
01:23:51,944 --> 01:23:53,152
More than one helping hand.
1683
01:23:53,195 --> 01:23:56,196
So, that's what I needed
to get through this,
1684
01:23:56,240 --> 01:24:00,534
and hopefully it will
be a sustainable effort
1685
01:24:00,619 --> 01:24:02,661
on y'all's part and
it won't be in vain.
1686
01:24:04,040 --> 01:24:07,875
I would just like to say,
szilvie, just, I love you
1687
01:24:07,918 --> 01:24:12,588
and I hope this
1688
01:24:12,673 --> 01:24:14,214
brings a smile to your face.
1689
01:24:14,258 --> 01:24:15,591
I'm sure it does.
1690
01:24:15,676 --> 01:24:21,680
And I just miss you and
I'm glad we had this chance
1691
01:24:21,766 --> 01:24:24,683
to give your home back,
1692
01:24:24,769 --> 01:24:27,811
and people could remember
you in a better way,
1693
01:24:27,897 --> 01:24:29,063
in a fond way.
1694
01:24:34,717 --> 01:24:36,717
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