1 00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:12,010 Narrator: Coming up, what's got q revealing his dinner secrets? 2 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:16,748 [ as bane ] well, typically, I feast in darkness. 3 00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:18,283 [ laughter ] 4 00:00:18,285 --> 00:00:20,752 Why is sal such a bawler? 5 00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:22,154 [ voice breaking ] okay, bye. 6 00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:24,356 Are you actually crying? He's actually crying. 7 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,624 Narrator: And which losing joker 8 00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:28,560 Will get alliterated in tonight's poetic punishment? 9 00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:32,364 "bam!" [ laughter ] 10 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,767 Sal: Prepare for something amazing. 11 00:00:34,769 --> 00:00:35,834 Q: Hey, mustache, what's up? 12 00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,702 [ laughter ] 13 00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,171 Murr: Like a boss! 14 00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,973 [ laughter ] 15 00:00:40,975 --> 00:00:43,842 Sal: I will never forgive you! 16 00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:45,910 Joe: Larry! 17 00:00:45,912 --> 00:00:47,179 [ laughter ] 18 00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:50,048 Sal: "I'm the party pup." 19 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,184 Alright, today, we're at dekalb market hall 20 00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:54,252 Where we'll be sitting alongside strangers 21 00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:56,388 Answering questions for a fake "documentary." 22 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,990 The documentary will be filmed by our crew, 23 00:00:57,992 --> 00:00:59,124 And all we have to do 24 00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:00,258 Is answer the questions without laughing. 25 00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:02,861 The catch is our answers will be given to us 26 00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:03,862 By the other guys. 27 00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:06,198 Whoever laughs the most loses. 28 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,134 ♪♪ 29 00:01:09,136 --> 00:01:10,869 Here we go, boys. 30 00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,337 Sal: We've played this game before. 31 00:01:12,339 --> 00:01:14,739 We are participating in a "fake documentary." 32 00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:16,274 Joe: This is our real crew out there. 33 00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:17,476 This is pete, our producer. 34 00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,344 You know, obviously, the person to our right 35 00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:21,279 Does not know what's going on. 36 00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:23,682 Pete: So, I want to begin with cole. 37 00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,484 Describe your workout routine. 38 00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:27,686 I guess just some cardio, 39 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:28,620 But that's about it. 40 00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:31,089 Brian, describe your workout routine. 41 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,557 "so, I do dip-dups..." 42 00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:33,758 So, I do dip-dups..." 43 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:34,893 "...Bang-a-rangs..." ...Bang-a-rangs... 44 00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,361 "...A set of jangles..." ...A set of jangles... 45 00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:37,962 "...Shups and cruns..." ...Shups and crumbs... 46 00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:39,297 "...Dips and squats..." ...Dips and squats... 47 00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:40,833 "...Jacks and lungees." ...Jacks and lungees. 48 00:01:40,835 --> 00:01:42,367 Sal: "then I strip down to my charlies..." 49 00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:44,102 Then I strip down to the charlies. 50 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,570 "...Then jog in place till I crap myself." 51 00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:47,506 Then I just... [ chuckles ] 52 00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:49,508 [ laughter ] 53 00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:52,577 Then on the treadmill, I jog in place... 54 00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:53,645 ♪♪ 55 00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,780 ...Till I crap myself. 56 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,850 [ laughter ] 57 00:01:57,852 --> 00:01:59,051 Pete: Cole. [ chuckling ] yes. 58 00:01:59,053 --> 00:02:02,387 What's the most exotic cuisine you've ever tried? 59 00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:04,923 Probably the most exotic is cactus. 60 00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:05,924 Brian? 61 00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:08,060 Murr: "once when I was in college..." 62 00:02:08,062 --> 00:02:10,262 Well, once when I was in college... 63 00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:12,264 "...I ate some puerto rican kid's ashes." 64 00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:13,732 ...I was in frat 65 00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:17,670 And accidentally ate some puerto rican kid's ashes. 66 00:02:17,672 --> 00:02:20,605 [ laughter ] 67 00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:23,475 Cole, walk us through your ideal dining experience. 68 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,277 Ideal dining experience? 69 00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:26,278 [ coughs ] 70 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,080 You're in trouble. He's dancing. 71 00:02:28,082 --> 00:02:29,414 Sal's dancing back here. 72 00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:31,416 Brian? Sal: Okay, ready? 73 00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:33,618 In a bane voice, say, 74 00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:36,221 [as bane] "typically, I feast in darkness." 75 00:02:36,223 --> 00:02:38,891 Ideal dining experience? 76 00:02:38,893 --> 00:02:41,894 [ as bane ] well, um... 77 00:02:41,896 --> 00:02:46,231 Typically, I feast in darkness. 78 00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:47,766 [ laughter ] 79 00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:49,902 I thought I was gonna get him! 80 00:02:49,904 --> 00:02:53,438 Alright, brian, you describe your personal style. 81 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,975 "oh, aging basic-cable reality star with cool hats." 82 00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:58,977 Yeah. [ laughs ] 83 00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:00,779 Murr: Got him! 84 00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:05,383 I'm gonna say aging basic-cable reality star 85 00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:07,385 With cool hats. 86 00:03:07,387 --> 00:03:08,386 Yep. 87 00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:09,588 [ laughter ] 88 00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:10,589 Thank you so much. That's it? 89 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:11,990 That's it. Good job, q. 90 00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:13,926 Wasn't my best showing, I'll tell you that much. 91 00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:14,927 [ ding! ] 92 00:03:14,929 --> 00:03:16,261 [ laughter ] 93 00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:19,197 So, we're gonna be talking about relationships. 94 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,532 Stanley, what would you say -- 95 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,801 What are the attributes of a healthy relationship? 96 00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:25,003 Just listening. 97 00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:26,271 Joe? 98 00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:28,406 "relationships are, you know, 90% mental..." 99 00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:30,475 Relationships are 90% mental... 100 00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:32,210 "...10% physical..." ...10% physical... 101 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,678 "after my horse accident..." 102 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,547 I mean, after my horse accident... 103 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,282 "...It was zero percent physical 104 00:03:37,284 --> 00:03:38,550 Until my walnuts re-descended." 105 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,085 ...It was zero percent physical 106 00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:42,554 Until I got the walnuts back down. 107 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,022 They re-descended. 108 00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:45,157 [ laughter ] 109 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,561 Stanley, describe the best trip 110 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,229 You've taken with a partner. 111 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,498 What we did was we went to the movies. 112 00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,768 We went to trader joe's and we got a bottle of wine 113 00:03:55,770 --> 00:03:58,771 And we drank it at chipotle, and we went to... 114 00:03:58,773 --> 00:04:00,505 Q: Look at joe. 115 00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:01,440 ...A reiki. 116 00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:02,574 Joe? 117 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,643 Oh, man. "it was in Italy." 118 00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:05,644 I was in Italy. 119 00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:07,712 "I just don't remember exactly where." 120 00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:10,114 I don't remember exactly where in Italy. 121 00:04:10,116 --> 00:04:11,183 "naples?" 122 00:04:11,185 --> 00:04:12,317 I think the area was a little confusing. 123 00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:13,318 It was in naples... 124 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,653 Sal: "or bibity dibity..." 125 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:17,189 Or it could've been bib-- could've been bibity dibity. 126 00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:20,258 It was either eastern napledon... 127 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,060 "you know that stupid [bleep] boot?" 128 00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:24,729 You know there's a stupid [bleep] boot, 129 00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:26,264 And it's kicking -- 130 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,133 It's basically the [bleep] heel here. 131 00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:30,335 But it was -- the scenery, you can't beat. 132 00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:32,137 "I told you about my dick nuts, right?" 133 00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:35,307 [ laughter ] 134 00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:38,677 Call 'em dick nuts. 135 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:41,146 [ laughter ] 136 00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:44,616 I told you guys about my dick nuts, right? 137 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,485 [ laughter ] 138 00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:49,221 Sal's down! 139 00:04:49,223 --> 00:04:51,423 I'm sorry, I was a little roundabout, but Italy. 140 00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:52,891 [ laughter ] 141 00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:54,026 Joe. Yeah. 142 00:04:54,028 --> 00:04:56,294 What do you think is your most attractive quality? 143 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,363 "once they drop..." once they drop... 144 00:04:58,365 --> 00:04:59,832 "...My dick nuts are great." 145 00:04:59,834 --> 00:05:01,867 [ laughs ] 146 00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,838 On-- 147 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,773 Pete, once they drop... 148 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,709 ...My dick nuts will be great. 149 00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:11,976 [ chuckles ] 150 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:14,179 There we go! 151 00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:16,114 Took forever. 152 00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:19,451 So, joe, now, tell me about your best valentine's day. 153 00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:20,919 "February 14, 2012..." 154 00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:23,121 I would say February 14, 2012... 155 00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:24,789 "...My girlfriend at the time died." 156 00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:26,791 ...My girlfriend at the time had passed away. 157 00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:28,460 "thanks for bringing it up, mcfartland." 158 00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:30,462 Thanks for bringing it up, mcfartland. 159 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:31,530 [ laughter ] 160 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:35,333 Pete -- pete mcfartland. 161 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,535 [ laughter ] 162 00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:37,469 Pete mcfar-- 163 00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:38,937 Pete mcfartland is on your license. 164 00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:40,205 Can you say "pete mcfartland"? 165 00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:41,673 Pete: Don't say it. Don't say it. 166 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,742 Stanley, don't you [bleep] say it. 167 00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:44,677 [ laughter ] 168 00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:48,346 Alright, joe, go grow some dick nuts. 169 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,281 [ laughter ] 170 00:05:49,283 --> 00:05:50,749 [ ding! ] 171 00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,685 Joe: Here we go, boys. 172 00:05:52,687 --> 00:05:55,220 Uh, mary, what do you do to relax? 173 00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:57,155 I don't. [ laughs ] 174 00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:59,224 That's the short answer. 175 00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:01,093 James, what do you do to relax? 176 00:06:01,095 --> 00:06:02,160 "I blindfold myself..." 177 00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:03,228 I blindfold myself... 178 00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:04,496 "...And play the trumpet to my plants." 179 00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,698 ...And play the trumpet to my plants. 180 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,901 Sal: Look at her face. 181 00:06:08,903 --> 00:06:10,102 [ laughter ] 182 00:06:10,104 --> 00:06:12,304 Describe your ideal roommate. 183 00:06:12,306 --> 00:06:13,305 Mary. 184 00:06:13,307 --> 00:06:15,039 I guess, like, ideally, 185 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:18,042 My roommate would just be, like, a dog by itself. 186 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,311 James. 187 00:06:19,313 --> 00:06:20,979 "literally any age..." 188 00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:22,514 Literally any age... 189 00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:23,515 Q: "...Any race..." 190 00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:24,717 ...Any race... "...Any career..." 191 00:06:24,719 --> 00:06:26,251 ...Any career... "...But ideally..." 192 00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:27,119 ...But ideally... 193 00:06:27,121 --> 00:06:28,253 "...A young white banker." 194 00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:30,589 ...A young white banker. 195 00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:31,790 [ laughter ] 196 00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,258 Ideally. 197 00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:34,192 Yeah, yeah. 198 00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:36,194 Q: Wow, murr! 199 00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:38,530 James, describe your workout routine. 200 00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:39,998 Joe: Get offended. Get offended, murr. 201 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,467 Why do you want to know my workout routine? 202 00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:44,202 Like, I'm not answering that. 203 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:45,337 That's too personal. 204 00:06:45,339 --> 00:06:47,139 [ laughter ] 205 00:06:47,141 --> 00:06:49,674 Pete, describe your worst relationship right now. 206 00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:50,875 Murray, jump in on it. 207 00:06:50,877 --> 00:06:52,611 Uh, describe your worst relationship. 208 00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:53,878 Oh, that's easy. 209 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,348 It was samantha from atlanta. She was intolerable. 210 00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:57,750 [ laughter ] 211 00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:00,753 Let me tell you, she had the worst habits. 212 00:07:00,755 --> 00:07:02,287 "we weren't sexually compatible." 213 00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:03,555 We weren't sexually compatible. 214 00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:04,556 "I was an outie." 215 00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:07,025 I was an out-- [ chuckles ] 216 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:08,160 [ laughter ] 217 00:07:08,162 --> 00:07:10,095 Oh, we got him! 218 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:11,896 Okay, james, we'll stick with you. 219 00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:13,165 What do you do for fun? 220 00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:14,499 What do I do for fun? 221 00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:15,834 "I've been weakening the glass 222 00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,169 At the coney island aquarium." 223 00:07:17,171 --> 00:07:21,306 [ laughter ] 224 00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:24,309 I've -- I've been slowly weakening the glass 225 00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:26,110 At the coney island aquarium. 226 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,112 [ laughter ] 227 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,180 Look at her! 228 00:07:28,182 --> 00:07:31,583 "every day, I tap the same spot 200 times." 229 00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:35,788 Every day, I tap the same spot 200 times. 230 00:07:35,790 --> 00:07:37,189 "I'm gonna kill that [bleep] manatee 231 00:07:37,191 --> 00:07:38,390 If it's the last thing I do." 232 00:07:38,392 --> 00:07:41,259 [ laughter ] 233 00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:42,461 Got him again! 234 00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:44,196 I'm gonna kill that [bleep] manatee 235 00:07:44,198 --> 00:07:46,332 If it's the last thing I do. 236 00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:49,201 Pete: Alright, we're done here. 237 00:07:49,203 --> 00:07:51,069 Oh, well, that was easy. 238 00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,805 [ ding! ] 239 00:07:52,807 --> 00:07:54,206 Alright. 240 00:07:54,208 --> 00:07:55,273 Murr: Here we go. 241 00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:56,941 So, this is "voices of brooklyn." 242 00:07:56,943 --> 00:07:59,077 Pete: We're gonna be talking about relationships. 243 00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:01,613 Tyrone, describe your ideal date. 244 00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:04,082 Uh, meeting someplace, probably for dinner. 245 00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:06,551 Q: Hey, sal, take a look at your cameraman today, 246 00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:08,353 See if you notice anything on your -- 247 00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:10,489 [ laughter ] 248 00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:14,693 Murr: Good luck keeping a straight face now. 249 00:08:16,762 --> 00:08:19,999 Q: Hey, sal, take a look at your cameraman today. 250 00:08:20,001 --> 00:08:21,867 [ laughter ] 251 00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:24,936 Murr: Good luck keeping a straight face now 252 00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:27,072 Because baby blue is staring at you the whole time. 253 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,474 How about you, sal? 254 00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:30,742 Describe your ideal date. 255 00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:33,212 Murr: "I just want someone to crack my back." 256 00:08:33,214 --> 00:08:34,146 Um... 257 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,682 [ laughter ] 258 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:42,021 Joe's eating a banana! 259 00:08:42,023 --> 00:08:44,690 Just want someone to, like, crack my back, you know? 260 00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:46,191 I'll crack it. 261 00:08:47,228 --> 00:08:49,895 [ laughter ] 262 00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:52,564 Tyrone, what would you say is your most attractive quality? 263 00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:55,567 Probably my outgoing character. 264 00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:58,637 Sal, what do you think is your most attractive quality? 265 00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:01,106 "uh, I'm like the ellis island of sex." 266 00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:02,507 Well, I've been called -- 267 00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:04,175 I'm like the ellis island of sex. 268 00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:06,311 Q: "I'll get busy with any filthy specimen 269 00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:07,846 That washes up on my shores." 270 00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,180 [ laughs ] 271 00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:10,683 [ laughter ] 272 00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:14,052 As far as where my relationships go, 273 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,186 I don't discriminate. 274 00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:16,788 Stop saying other words! 275 00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:18,723 "I'll have sex with any filthy specimen..." 276 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,525 You know... 277 00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,861 Look at joe. 278 00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:23,929 ...I'll have relations 279 00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:25,464 With any specimen, really, that... 280 00:09:25,466 --> 00:09:26,798 "filthy specimen." 281 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,400 You know, any filthy specimen 282 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,002 That washes up on my shores, really. 283 00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:33,538 I'm just a people lover. 284 00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,874 "filthy people lover." 285 00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:37,076 "I'm a filthy people lover." 286 00:09:37,078 --> 00:09:38,409 [ laughter ] 287 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,479 A filthy people lover. 288 00:09:40,481 --> 00:09:41,746 [ laughter ] 289 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,815 Q: He looks genuinely uncomfortable. 290 00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,484 You look miserable right now. 291 00:09:45,486 --> 00:09:47,286 Joe's getting warm. 292 00:09:47,288 --> 00:09:49,020 Oh, no. 293 00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:51,356 This is the last question. 294 00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:55,827 Tell me about your best valentine's day. 295 00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:58,097 Look at the top he's got on! What is that, a camisole? 296 00:09:58,099 --> 00:10:00,632 [ laughter ] 297 00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,168 A little warm, huh? 298 00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:04,435 It's hot as shit in here. 299 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,838 [ laughter ] 300 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,107 Murr: That's a laugh. 301 00:10:08,109 --> 00:10:10,575 Pete: Sal, would you like to take this one? 302 00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:12,111 Yeah, I-I don't -- I don't -- 303 00:10:12,113 --> 00:10:14,179 I don't celebrate valentine's day. 304 00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:16,181 [ laughter ] 305 00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:17,116 That's it. 306 00:10:17,118 --> 00:10:19,184 Should we have been recording? 307 00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:21,653 Wait, what? You didn't roll yet? 308 00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:22,988 I thought this was a rehearsal. 309 00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:24,723 That wasn't a rehearsal for me. 310 00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:25,857 [ laughter ] 311 00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:27,258 [ buzzer ] 312 00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:30,129 Narrator: Unfortunately for sal, this was no rehearsal. 313 00:10:30,131 --> 00:10:32,131 He's first up on the loser board. 314 00:10:32,133 --> 00:10:34,466 Today, we'll be sitting in a waiting room 315 00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:37,002 Having over-the-top arguments on our cellphones. 316 00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:38,269 After we hang up, 317 00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:40,005 We'll be given the reason that we were so upset. 318 00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:42,607 The goal is to convince the other person waiting 319 00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:44,943 That you did not overreact! 320 00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:47,813 If they think you overreacted, you lose. 321 00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:49,014 [bleep] aah! 322 00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:51,950 ♪♪ 323 00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:53,952 Joe: Here we go. Alright, murr, you ready? 324 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,154 Ready to go. 325 00:10:55,156 --> 00:10:56,755 So, murr's just gonna have to flip out a little bit 326 00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:58,623 And see if his fight is justified. 327 00:10:58,625 --> 00:10:59,624 Nice to meet you. 328 00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:01,426 You can grab a spot right there. 329 00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:02,694 I'm gonna go get the client, 330 00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,696 And he should be down in just a second. 331 00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:06,165 Do these things often? 332 00:11:06,167 --> 00:11:08,700 A couple times, but always in a city, you know? 333 00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:10,369 Never -- oh, okay. Never out here? 334 00:11:10,371 --> 00:11:11,770 I'm just having a health issue right now. 335 00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:12,771 I'm feeling very lightheaded. 336 00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:13,772 Are you really? Yeah. 337 00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,106 Uh-oh. 338 00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:17,242 You think it was that king-sized cheesecake you just ate? 339 00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:19,244 No, no, that made me feel good. 340 00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:20,445 Might need to double down on it. 341 00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:21,780 We need 10 ccs of cheesecake, stat! 342 00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:23,648 10 ccs of cheesecake! 343 00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:25,184 Marisa! 344 00:11:25,186 --> 00:11:26,185 What's going on? 345 00:11:26,187 --> 00:11:27,919 Joe: Guys, murr's already into it. Just go. 346 00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:30,321 This is -- this is the reality? This is what we're doing. 347 00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:32,257 Go get 'em, murr! 348 00:11:32,259 --> 00:11:33,592 [ gags ] 349 00:11:33,594 --> 00:11:35,660 Murr, we're just gonna do this while joe gets checked out -- 350 00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:36,795 Remember me, murr! 351 00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:38,329 Win for me! ...Emts. 352 00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:39,198 You sure? 353 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:40,866 Gonna bring up pictures of my children. 354 00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:42,267 [ laughter ] alright. 355 00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:44,603 Is it getting -- is it getting bright in here? 356 00:11:44,605 --> 00:11:45,737 Q: Alright, we're good. 357 00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,272 Go ahead, murr, start your argument. 358 00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:49,274 Hello? That's insane. 359 00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:51,210 Why would you even think that? 360 00:11:51,212 --> 00:11:53,478 She's in. Why would you say that? 361 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,280 I can't believe you would think that I would do that. 362 00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:57,749 What -- why? What's going through your head? 363 00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:59,751 I can't do anything about it now. 364 00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:01,553 I'm done with the conversation. Are you okay? 365 00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:03,555 I'm done with the conversation. We'll talk about it tonight. 366 00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,424 Goodbye. 367 00:12:05,426 --> 00:12:07,025 Everything's okay? 368 00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:08,493 "well, fella, I'm engaged." 369 00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:10,295 [ laughter ] 370 00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:15,434 Well, fella, I'm engaged. 371 00:12:15,436 --> 00:12:16,702 You -- oh. 372 00:12:16,704 --> 00:12:18,770 I can't believe I'm engaged. 373 00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:20,371 [ laughter ] 374 00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:22,641 Who proposes over the phone? I was kind of forced into it. 375 00:12:22,643 --> 00:12:24,443 Wait, wait, time-out. 376 00:12:24,445 --> 00:12:26,044 Did you just say you proposed over the phone? 377 00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:27,046 [ laughter ] 378 00:12:27,048 --> 00:12:29,314 I was just forced into getting engaged. 379 00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:30,849 Did I overreact, fella? 380 00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:31,850 No. No! 381 00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:33,652 Oh, he didn't overreact. 382 00:12:33,654 --> 00:12:34,653 He did it! 383 00:12:34,655 --> 00:12:36,788 I probably would've reacted that way, too. 384 00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:37,923 Anybody would've reacted the same way. 385 00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:38,924 Joe: Great job, buddy. 386 00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:40,058 You okay? 387 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:41,526 Yeah, she said it was a sugar crash. 388 00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:42,661 Q: So we were right. 389 00:12:42,663 --> 00:12:45,130 He ate so much cheesecake so fast, 390 00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:47,666 Two paramedics had to come and tell him he was okay. 391 00:12:47,668 --> 00:12:48,734 [ laughter ] 392 00:12:48,736 --> 00:12:52,403 He ate this much cake -- the size of my hand. 393 00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:54,606 We only had a 10-minute break and I had to go. 394 00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:56,808 I'm so glad the evidence is still here. 395 00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:59,811 And then, I mean, it was moments -- 396 00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:02,881 It was moments before he went, 397 00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:04,816 "oh, something's not right." 398 00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:07,686 [ laughing ] 399 00:13:07,688 --> 00:13:11,090 This is like 11,000 calories! 400 00:13:11,092 --> 00:13:13,959 Jesus almost gave me the big thumbs-down. 401 00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,427 Murr: Here we go, buddy. 402 00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:17,963 Cole, before you leave, say, "my name's joffrey. 403 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,430 I will return." 404 00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:21,767 Um, my name is joffrey, 405 00:13:21,769 --> 00:13:23,768 And I-I will return. 406 00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,036 Okay. 407 00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:26,705 [ laughter ] 408 00:13:26,707 --> 00:13:28,440 Man, he delivers a line! 409 00:13:28,442 --> 00:13:29,908 Sorry. 410 00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:31,376 Hello? 411 00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:32,778 Hey. 412 00:13:32,780 --> 00:13:34,780 No, no, no, no. Not again. 413 00:13:34,782 --> 00:13:37,182 This is not how I do things. We talked about this. 414 00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:39,784 This is not how I do things, and you're the problem. 415 00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:40,919 Okay, not me. 416 00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:43,588 Fine. Alright. 417 00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:44,723 [ phone thuds ] 418 00:13:44,725 --> 00:13:45,724 [ sighs ] 419 00:13:45,726 --> 00:13:46,925 You okay? 420 00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,393 Murr: "my super-hot wife 421 00:13:48,395 --> 00:13:50,662 Just spent all her allowance on lingerie again." 422 00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:52,831 [ laughter ] 423 00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:58,804 My super-hot wife 424 00:13:58,806 --> 00:14:02,741 Just spent all her allowance on lingerie again. 425 00:14:02,743 --> 00:14:04,475 So... 426 00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:06,077 [ laughter ] 427 00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:09,348 I know -- believe me. 428 00:14:09,350 --> 00:14:11,817 Look, I give her an allowance. 429 00:14:11,819 --> 00:14:12,818 "$1,000 a week." 430 00:14:12,820 --> 00:14:14,553 It's not much. It's, you know, a pittance. 431 00:14:14,555 --> 00:14:15,620 It's about $1,000 a week, 432 00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:17,288 And she blows it on lingerie. 433 00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:19,825 And I'm always coming home and she's in some sexy lingerie. 434 00:14:19,827 --> 00:14:21,292 She's doing it for you. 435 00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,762 "it's her allowance, but I won't allow it." 436 00:14:23,764 --> 00:14:26,965 It's her allowance, but I won't allow it. 437 00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,233 [ laughs ] 438 00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:29,768 [ laughter ] 439 00:14:29,770 --> 00:14:31,370 Did I overreact? 440 00:14:31,372 --> 00:14:33,772 Maybe a little, yeah. 441 00:14:33,774 --> 00:14:35,040 [ laughter ] 442 00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:37,642 Sal: You had no chance. Murr: No chance. 443 00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:39,244 Q: Here we go. 444 00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:40,579 Oh, hey. 445 00:14:40,581 --> 00:14:42,381 How are you? 446 00:14:42,383 --> 00:14:44,483 [ chuckles ] great. 447 00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:48,887 [ laughter ] 448 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,523 Okay, when it's my turn to respond, 449 00:14:51,525 --> 00:14:53,124 I guess you'll just let me know. 450 00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:54,926 Ooh. Oh! 451 00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:57,196 No, you listen. I let you talk, now you listen to me, okay? 452 00:14:57,198 --> 00:14:59,330 This is the last time I'm gonna let you do it. The last time! 453 00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:00,399 Murr: Hang up. 454 00:15:00,401 --> 00:15:02,734 Enough's enough with it. 455 00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,736 "nana's making [bleep] spaghetti again." 456 00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:10,042 [ laughter ] 457 00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:13,845 Joe: No, you listen. 458 00:15:13,847 --> 00:15:15,246 I let you talk, now you listen to me, okay? 459 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,116 This is the last time I'm gonna let you do it. The last time! 460 00:15:17,118 --> 00:15:18,249 Murr: Hang up. 461 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,918 Enough's enough with it. 462 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,720 "nana's making [bleep] spaghetti again." 463 00:15:21,722 --> 00:15:24,256 [ laughter ] 464 00:15:27,728 --> 00:15:30,129 My nana's making [bleep] spaghetti again. 465 00:15:30,131 --> 00:15:32,598 [ laughter ] 466 00:15:34,535 --> 00:15:37,536 How many pounds of spaghetti does a guy got to eat? 467 00:15:37,538 --> 00:15:38,937 "look what spaghetti has made of me." 468 00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:40,539 Murr: "look what it's done to me." 469 00:15:40,541 --> 00:15:42,341 I just can't say no to the spaghetti. 470 00:15:42,343 --> 00:15:44,676 You see what it's done to me after all the years. 471 00:15:44,678 --> 00:15:46,011 "I'm in my mid-50s. 472 00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:49,348 I can't be eating spaghetti like this all the time." 473 00:15:49,350 --> 00:15:50,415 I'm in my mid-50s. 474 00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:51,883 I can't be eating spaghetti like this. 475 00:15:51,885 --> 00:15:53,685 How much longer do you think I got? 476 00:15:53,687 --> 00:15:54,686 You don't look it. 477 00:15:54,688 --> 00:15:56,355 I don't look it? Oh, thanks, man. 478 00:15:56,357 --> 00:15:57,823 Hey! Alright! 479 00:15:57,825 --> 00:15:59,558 Did I overreact? 480 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:01,292 Uh... 481 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,562 Maybe a little bit. 482 00:16:03,564 --> 00:16:05,164 [ laughter ] 483 00:16:05,166 --> 00:16:07,166 Joey gatto goes down! 484 00:16:07,168 --> 00:16:10,169 Uh, yes, we're ready for the 60-year-old. 485 00:16:10,171 --> 00:16:11,302 [ laughter ] 486 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,172 [ buzzer ] 487 00:16:13,174 --> 00:16:14,973 Joe: Alright, sal, you're up. 488 00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:16,175 Hello, how are you? 489 00:16:16,177 --> 00:16:17,843 What's your name? Lee. 490 00:16:17,845 --> 00:16:19,644 Lee. You can grab a seat. 491 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,312 Joe: Wait till it gets quiet, cole, 492 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,315 And then all of a sudden go, "I'm joffrey!" 493 00:16:25,519 --> 00:16:27,386 I'm joffrey! 494 00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:30,422 [ laughter ] 495 00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:36,461 Oh, my god! 496 00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:38,730 Oh! Oh, my god! 497 00:16:38,732 --> 00:16:39,731 Just about ready. 498 00:16:39,733 --> 00:16:40,932 I'm gonna go see 499 00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:41,867 And make sure they come to the right room. 500 00:16:41,869 --> 00:16:43,668 ♪♪ 501 00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:47,338 Javier bardem in "did I overreact?" 502 00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,408 Hello. 503 00:16:50,744 --> 00:16:53,344 Yeah, I-I'll be about another half-hour maybe. 504 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,047 What? 505 00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:58,617 [ voice breaking ] are you serious? 506 00:16:58,619 --> 00:16:59,751 [ laughter ] 507 00:16:59,753 --> 00:17:01,286 [ sniffles ] why would you tell me this right now? 508 00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:02,421 I'm at work. 509 00:17:02,423 --> 00:17:03,755 Murr: Oh, man. 510 00:17:03,757 --> 00:17:05,891 Well, I'm very upset about it. 511 00:17:05,893 --> 00:17:07,092 He's crying. 512 00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:09,360 He's cry-- are you actually crying? 513 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,629 He's actually crying. 514 00:17:10,631 --> 00:17:14,099 [ sniffles ] okay, bye. 515 00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:15,767 Oh, man. 516 00:17:15,769 --> 00:17:17,436 Are you okay? 517 00:17:17,438 --> 00:17:18,637 "it might rain tomorrow." 518 00:17:18,639 --> 00:17:22,274 [ laughter ] 519 00:17:23,911 --> 00:17:26,245 It might rain tomorrow. 520 00:17:26,247 --> 00:17:27,246 [ laughter ] 521 00:17:27,248 --> 00:17:29,781 It's raining right now. 522 00:17:29,783 --> 00:17:31,483 It's raining now! That's the funny part. 523 00:17:32,653 --> 00:17:34,986 Where am I gonna find an umbrella at this hour? 524 00:17:34,988 --> 00:17:36,722 [ laughter ] 525 00:17:36,724 --> 00:17:39,057 Don't worry, I have like five in my car. 526 00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:40,592 You'd lend me your umbrella? 527 00:17:40,594 --> 00:17:42,394 You can actually keep it. 528 00:17:42,396 --> 00:17:44,195 I can keep your umbrella? 529 00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:45,064 [ laughter ] 530 00:17:45,066 --> 00:17:46,598 [ laughing ] that's the nicest thing 531 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,200 Anyone's ever said to me. 532 00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:51,270 [ laughter ] 533 00:17:51,272 --> 00:17:53,572 He's losing it! 534 00:17:56,277 --> 00:17:59,144 Oh, man. 535 00:17:59,146 --> 00:18:01,380 Do you think I overreacted? 536 00:18:02,616 --> 00:18:04,816 [ laughs ] 537 00:18:04,818 --> 00:18:05,951 [ laughter ] 538 00:18:05,953 --> 00:18:07,886 Just a little. Murr: Just a little! 539 00:18:07,888 --> 00:18:09,087 [ laughter ] 540 00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:10,421 [ buzzer ] 541 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:13,224 Narrator: Now sal really has something to cry about. 542 00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:15,827 He's tonight's big loser. 543 00:18:15,829 --> 00:18:17,762 Alright! Yeah! 544 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,364 Sal is our loser today. 545 00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:21,500 Yeah, so we thought, plain and simple, 546 00:18:21,502 --> 00:18:23,435 We'd send him to a poetry class... Sure. 547 00:18:23,437 --> 00:18:25,236 ...To rip apart other people's poems 548 00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:27,238 And then present the poem that we've written for you at the end. 549 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,307 Murr: Alright. 550 00:18:28,309 --> 00:18:30,241 Yeah, you're just gonna crap all over people 551 00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:31,510 And then you're gonna stand in front of them 552 00:18:31,512 --> 00:18:32,911 And read a poem we wrote you. 553 00:18:32,913 --> 00:18:34,913 Sal, to be or not to be a dick. 554 00:18:34,915 --> 00:18:36,848 [ laughter ] 555 00:18:36,850 --> 00:18:40,519 Welcome to gotham writers' workshop, everyone. 556 00:18:40,521 --> 00:18:43,054 Joe: So, these are real poets with the group gotham writers 557 00:18:43,056 --> 00:18:45,256 That have come to do a real class with a real teacher 558 00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:46,525 Who happens to be on our side. 559 00:18:46,527 --> 00:18:48,259 Q: They'll be in the class with a real jerk. 560 00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:49,661 Murr: Yes. 561 00:18:49,663 --> 00:18:51,262 So, who would like to start? 562 00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:53,264 Come on up. Yeah, you can come on up. 563 00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:54,333 Here we go. 564 00:18:54,335 --> 00:18:57,602 "cozy in between with the smell of campfire. 565 00:18:57,604 --> 00:19:00,872 Like a blanket wrapped around me scented of cinnamon, 566 00:19:00,874 --> 00:19:03,208 The perfect trio of companions, 567 00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:05,276 The ever-tasty s'more." 568 00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:07,146 [ applause ] 569 00:19:07,148 --> 00:19:09,014 That was a pretty good poem. She's pretty good. It was great. 570 00:19:09,016 --> 00:19:12,151 It was really nice and felt very well-drafted. 571 00:19:12,153 --> 00:19:13,485 "eh..." 572 00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:15,687 [ laughter ] 573 00:19:15,689 --> 00:19:16,755 Eh, um... 574 00:19:16,757 --> 00:19:17,756 Yes. 575 00:19:17,758 --> 00:19:19,692 "I didn't believe you." 576 00:19:20,894 --> 00:19:27,533 [ laughter ] 577 00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:32,137 Woman: "the perfect trio of companions, 578 00:19:32,139 --> 00:19:34,072 The ever-tasty s'more." 579 00:19:34,074 --> 00:19:36,408 [ applause ] 580 00:19:36,410 --> 00:19:37,742 "eh..." 581 00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,944 [ laughter ] 582 00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:41,013 Eh, um... 583 00:19:41,015 --> 00:19:42,014 Yes. 584 00:19:42,016 --> 00:19:43,948 "I didn't believe you." 585 00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:47,286 [ laughter ] 586 00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:52,157 I-I think it could be because of the set-up, 587 00:19:52,159 --> 00:19:54,559 But I had trouble... 588 00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:56,361 Believing you. 589 00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:58,096 Ooh! 590 00:19:58,098 --> 00:19:59,431 Q: "but..." but -- but... 591 00:19:59,433 --> 00:20:01,299 "but very nicely done. 592 00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:02,901 Strong first draft." 593 00:20:02,903 --> 00:20:05,170 [ laughter ] 594 00:20:05,172 --> 00:20:06,438 Very nicely done. 595 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,240 Um... 596 00:20:08,242 --> 00:20:10,909 Solid -- solid first draft. 597 00:20:10,911 --> 00:20:12,377 [ laughter ] 598 00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:14,179 ♪♪ 599 00:20:14,181 --> 00:20:16,048 Joe: Wow, look at him. 600 00:20:16,050 --> 00:20:17,716 Look, he's miserable! 601 00:20:17,718 --> 00:20:20,719 His hair's flopped over, he's sweating. 602 00:20:20,721 --> 00:20:22,521 ♪♪ 603 00:20:22,523 --> 00:20:24,923 Alright. "scared as [bleep]" 604 00:20:24,925 --> 00:20:26,324 "so [bleep] nice. 605 00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:29,261 I will spend the rest of my entire life 606 00:20:29,263 --> 00:20:31,530 Searching for those happy little pills. 607 00:20:31,532 --> 00:20:34,199 I knew you must've left a few behind." 608 00:20:34,201 --> 00:20:36,502 [ applause ] 609 00:20:37,938 --> 00:20:41,073 I really just love how raw that was. 610 00:20:41,075 --> 00:20:43,007 "eh..." joe: "eh..." 611 00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:45,477 "maybe the next draft, no curses." 612 00:20:45,479 --> 00:20:48,346 I -- you had me hooked immediately. Thank you. 613 00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:51,083 A little less poop mouth, but other than that, it's great. 614 00:20:51,085 --> 00:20:52,751 [ laughter ] 615 00:20:52,753 --> 00:20:54,453 [ sighs ] this is brutal. 616 00:20:55,756 --> 00:20:57,956 Man: "karly, not now. 617 00:20:57,958 --> 00:21:02,160 Don't touch it, even if you've asked. 618 00:21:02,162 --> 00:21:04,096 I'm not a pet." 619 00:21:04,098 --> 00:21:05,430 [ applause ] 620 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:06,965 Any comments? 621 00:21:06,967 --> 00:21:09,301 "one critique -- maybe more words." 622 00:21:09,303 --> 00:21:11,503 [ laughter ] yeah. 623 00:21:11,505 --> 00:21:13,037 Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry. 624 00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:14,839 If I could add anything at all, 625 00:21:14,841 --> 00:21:16,775 It would just probably be, uh, words. 626 00:21:16,777 --> 00:21:18,443 Whoa. 627 00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:20,845 Well, they're -- they're a haiku. 628 00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:24,048 Murr: They're starting to realize he's an idiot, huh? 629 00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:25,650 Thank you so much. 630 00:21:25,652 --> 00:21:28,253 [ applause ] 631 00:21:28,255 --> 00:21:30,589 "'it smells like winter,' she said, 632 00:21:30,591 --> 00:21:33,392 While laying sideways on his unkempt, warm bed. 633 00:21:33,394 --> 00:21:37,662 He knew the end was near, but not how or when it would be, 634 00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:39,464 Making infatuation disappear." 635 00:21:39,466 --> 00:21:41,199 "I loved it." 636 00:21:41,201 --> 00:21:43,535 I-I loved it. Sorry, didn't mean to cut, but I loved it, for one. 637 00:21:43,537 --> 00:21:44,803 Thank you. 638 00:21:44,805 --> 00:21:47,005 "it reminds me of the very best..." 639 00:21:47,007 --> 00:21:49,407 It reminds me of, um, the very -- 640 00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:50,408 The very best... 641 00:21:50,410 --> 00:21:51,543 "...Greeting card." 642 00:21:51,545 --> 00:21:53,345 [ laughs ] 643 00:21:53,347 --> 00:21:55,480 ...Like, greeting card. 644 00:21:55,482 --> 00:21:57,816 [ scoffs ] [ laughter ] 645 00:22:01,288 --> 00:22:02,955 "I mean this as a compliment. 646 00:22:02,957 --> 00:22:04,156 You're a writer, not a performer." 647 00:22:04,158 --> 00:22:05,890 [ sighs ] 648 00:22:05,892 --> 00:22:08,761 My final thought would be, like, you are a writer. 649 00:22:08,763 --> 00:22:10,829 Not a performer, but you're a writer. 650 00:22:10,831 --> 00:22:12,297 Oh! 651 00:22:12,299 --> 00:22:14,232 [ laughter ] 652 00:22:14,234 --> 00:22:16,969 Sal! He's dead! 653 00:22:16,971 --> 00:22:18,437 Just died inside! 654 00:22:18,439 --> 00:22:19,638 [ laughter ] 655 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,640 Joe: Alright, sal, you ready for your turn? 656 00:22:21,642 --> 00:22:23,575 Man: Alright. Moving right along. 657 00:22:23,577 --> 00:22:25,910 Who hasn't gone? Would you like to go? 658 00:22:25,912 --> 00:22:27,379 Alright. 659 00:22:27,381 --> 00:22:29,782 Joe: Perform to the best of your ability. 660 00:22:29,784 --> 00:22:31,916 He's seeing it for the first time right now. 661 00:22:31,918 --> 00:22:33,185 Here we go, here we go. 662 00:22:33,187 --> 00:22:36,755 [ sighs ] 663 00:22:38,258 --> 00:22:40,392 "I am the road not taken." 664 00:22:40,394 --> 00:22:42,060 [ laughter ] 665 00:22:42,062 --> 00:22:43,462 "bam! 666 00:22:43,464 --> 00:22:45,530 The truck hit me. 667 00:22:45,532 --> 00:22:47,399 Wah! Wah! Wah! 668 00:22:47,401 --> 00:22:49,201 The ambulance get me." 669 00:22:49,203 --> 00:22:51,203 [ laughter ] 670 00:22:51,205 --> 00:22:53,538 "hot, sticky, sweaty birth. 671 00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:56,008 Hot, cold stank. 672 00:22:56,010 --> 00:22:58,210 [ whispering ] death." 673 00:22:58,212 --> 00:22:59,812 [ laughter ] 674 00:23:00,881 --> 00:23:05,617 "the brain bone is connected to the heart bone. 675 00:23:05,619 --> 00:23:10,355 My bone is c-connected to your bone." 676 00:23:10,357 --> 00:23:12,090 ♪♪ 677 00:23:12,092 --> 00:23:14,559 "we bone. 678 00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:16,961 Knick-knack paddy wack, give this pup a bone. 679 00:23:16,963 --> 00:23:18,763 I'm the party pup." 680 00:23:18,765 --> 00:23:19,832 [ laughter ] 681 00:23:22,503 --> 00:23:24,036 "awoo! 682 00:23:24,038 --> 00:23:25,970 Woof, woof! You need a hug? 683 00:23:25,972 --> 00:23:27,305 Awoo, woof, woof! 684 00:23:27,307 --> 00:23:28,707 I shit the rug." 685 00:23:28,709 --> 00:23:30,375 [ laughter ] 686 00:23:30,377 --> 00:23:32,911 "never pay retail." 687 00:23:32,913 --> 00:23:35,047 [ laughter ] 688 00:23:35,049 --> 00:23:37,115 Ah, sal! 689 00:23:37,117 --> 00:23:39,784 Thank you. Murr: Oh, my god! 690 00:23:39,786 --> 00:23:40,785 Any thoughts? 691 00:23:40,787 --> 00:23:42,254 Who's got some thoughts? 692 00:23:42,256 --> 00:23:44,656 I guess I kind of got a little bit disconnected 693 00:23:44,658 --> 00:23:47,459 Because there were a lot of cliches. 694 00:23:47,461 --> 00:23:49,061 Yeah, it's pretty basic. 695 00:23:49,063 --> 00:23:50,162 [ laughter ] 696 00:23:51,598 --> 00:23:53,265 Alright. Alright, thanks. 697 00:23:53,267 --> 00:23:54,799 Alright. 698 00:23:54,801 --> 00:23:56,601 Yes, yes. 699 00:23:56,603 --> 00:23:58,002 Sal, good job, buddy. Party pup in the house! 700 00:23:58,004 --> 00:23:59,003 In the house! 701 00:23:59,005 --> 00:24:00,205 Nailed it. 702 00:24:00,207 --> 00:24:01,540 [ laughter ] 703 00:24:01,542 --> 00:24:02,541 Alright.