LAST WEEK TONIGHT WITH JOHN OLIVER
SEASON VIII EPISODE 2
Hi there ! Welcome to the show, still stuck in this blank void,
TV's greatest celebration of white emptiness since "Emily in Paris."
It's been an unpleasant week, from New York Governor Andrew Cuomo
admitting to withholding information about Covid deaths in nursing homes,
to the release of grim unemployment numbers,
to the death of Rush Limbaugh, so, you know...
But we are gonna start tonight with this.
Nationwide misery. Nasty weather pummeling the entire country.
More than 200 million Americans on alert coast to coast,
snow and ice sending big rigs out of control on the roads.
In Nashville, home security video
captures a truck sliding sideways down a residential street.
I know that truck is slow-motion Tokyo drifting 'cause the road is icy,
but I also like to think that it had had enough and is peacing out there.
"Don, Sheryl, you've been perfectly fine owners,
but there has got to be more to life than this,
so frankly, I'm out of here. This neighborhood sucks."
Severe winter weather caused chaos across the country,
and nowhere more so than Texas.
Day five of the power crisis in Texas.
We could tell you how cold it is, but these images tell the story better.
Burst pipes caused icicles on this ceiling fan.
Took, look at this, yep, that's ice coming out of this bathroom faucet.
And check out this car wash in Austin.
The person who posted this picture summed it up pretty well saying,
"Guess I'll wait 'til next week."
Yeah, maybe wait until your car wash stops looking like a middle school
went over budget on their production of "Frozen."
You probably shouldn't be driving into something
that looks like the asshole of Sully from "Monsters, Inc."
Texas saw a full-blown humanitarian crisis this week,
with many losing electricity and access to clean water,
hospitals having to evacuate patients, and dozens of deaths.
And if you watched Fox News, there was one culprit for all of this:
green energy.
Because multiple hosts placed the blame firmly on frozen wind turbines,
and none more loudly than this guy.
The windmills failed like the silly fashion accessories they are
and people in Texas died.
Green energy means a less reliable power grid, period.
It means failures like the ones we're seeing now in Texas.
That's not a talking point, it's not a political slogan,
we're not taking money from ExxonMobil to say it.
Again, that is true. It's science.
First, we know ExxonMobil is not paying you. Almost no one is.
Your show's lost so many advertisers, you're basically being bankrolled
by a man in a sexual relationship with a pillow.
Second, just 'cause you loudly insist something "is science"
doesn't make it science, that's science !
And finally, calling windmills "silly fashion accessories" is just absurd.
The only time you could conceivably make that claim
was when the "Bachelor" contestant Deandra
dressed up as a windmill for her night one entrance
in a clear allusion to Peter and Hannah's fantasy suite fuckfest.
And even then, it's not silly, it's horny.
Those windmill claims were even repeated
by Texas governor Greg Abbott, who told Sean Hannity,
"This shows how the Green New Deal would be a deadly deal."
But he knows that's horseshit.
Texas only relies on wind power for about 25% of its electricity.
The vast majority comes from thermal heat sources
like natural gas, coal, and nuclear.
And all of those were utterly hobbled by the cold this week.
Even if every wind turbine in Texas had kept spinning,
the state still would have been in deep shit.
And there were some uniquely Texan issues at work here
that made this the calamity it was, starting with this.
Most of Texas runs on its power grid separate from the rest of the country.
State leaders designed it this way to avoid federal regulation.
Yeah, it's true !
Texas is the only state in the lower 48 not on the federal power grid.
And sometimes, when you're the only one doing something, you're a pioneer.
But sometimes, you might be an idiot.
If you're the only person trying to set the world record
for being covered in the most bees, maybe ask yourself,
"What am I trying to prove here ? Why am I like this ?"
Because that independence meant that Texas
was limited in its ability to import energy from neighboring states.
And it also meant that there was significant pressure on ERCOT,
the company that manages the state's grid.
ERCOT scrambled to meet surging demand
and have since admitted that Texas was "seconds and minutes" away
from catastrophic month-long blackouts.
Which is a big shift from how they were talking last weekend,
when they were having fun tweeting out passive-aggressive energy-saving hints:
"Unplug the fancy new appliances you bought during the pandemic
and only used once."
And I'm sorry. But a KitchenAid Artisan Design Series 5
Quart Tilt-Head Stand Mixer with glass bowl
is not just a fancy appliance.
It's got 10 speeds and comes with a beater, dough hook, and a wire whisk.
No one's using that once.
Your children are gonna be fighting over that when you die.
Also, not to be a total bitch here, but who took that photo ?
The framing's trash, you can barely see the plug.
It looks like Martha Stewart's social media before she hired a food stylist.
We remember those days, Martha. Your shit was vile back then.
The point is, ERCOT was not prepared for this storm.
But they also weren't alone in that.
Because while ERCOT manages the grid,
it doesn't actually manage the power companies that supply it.
So, it could not compel companies to winterize facilities
so they wouldn't go down during a storm.
The state had left that choice up to power companies,
many of which opted against the upgrades,
because they were expensive.
And while this storm was unusually strong, it also wasn't unprecedented.
10 years ago, Texas was hit with a storm that paralyzed the state.
After which, federal regulators warned that their power plants
needed to winterize to prevent this happening again.
And state officials knew full well what might happen if they didn't act.
We've got to learn from it and make sure that when this happens again,
whether it's one year from now, 10 years from now,
we do not have this happen again.
There's really no excuse, in my humble opinion,
that a facility should go off when you know it's gonna freeze a week out.
That hearing was 10 years to the day before this storm hit.
So Texas had a decade to prepare, and it just didn't.
And you can get a lot done in 10 years !
Look at Beyoncé. In the last decade,
she announced she was pregnant in the coolest way possible,
performed at two Super Bowl halftimes,
watched Solange kick the shit out of her husband
and then made a whole album about it,
invented the color yellow and founded the Coachella Music Festival,
and was in a film with the world's greatest actor.
She got a lot done.
She probably could've winterized Texas' power plants as well,
if anyone had just thought to ask her.
So much of the problem this week
stemmed from Texas's state philosophy of every man for himself.
And that attitude has defined the response from their officials, too.
One mayor even posted, "No one owes you are your family anything,
nor is it the local government's responsibility
to support you during trying times like this !"
The backlash to that was so ferocious, he had to resign.
And then, there was the saga of Ted fucking Cruz.
He fled the state on Wednesday and took his family to Cancún.
And when photos of him on the plane emerged,
he came back the next day, initially implying that his plan had always been
to drop his family off and then come back,
a claim that never really rang true, considering he'd packed this suitcase.
Sure enough, he eventually admitted that he'd planned to stay the whole time
and blamed his preteen daughters for the trip,
saying that they had asked him to go, and I was "trying to be a dad."
Because the first rule of fatherhood is
"Throw your daughters under the bus at the first opportunity."
But eventually, we did get the full story of how the trip happened,
in spectacular fashion,
as Heidi Cruz's group chat with her friends and neighbors leaked.
Mrs. Cruz telling friends her house was freezing,
proposing a vacation until Sunday
and inviting others to join the Cruzes at the Ritz Carlton in Cancún
where they'd stayed before.
She floated a "direct flight" and "hotels with capacity. Seriously."
That's just incredible.
Ted Cruz, who, remember, wants to be president,
told the world he was bullied into international travel by tweens,
then got cyberbullied into coming home by the internet,
leaving his wife to solo-parent two kids on vacation
in another country while trying to figure out who in her mom group doxxed her.
It's all amazing.
But maybe the ultimate example of self defeating Texan swagger this week
actually came from former governor and US secretary of energy, Rick Perry.
Perry suggests that Texans prefer blackouts to federal regulation.
He said, "Texans would be without electricity for longer than three days
to keep the federal government out of their business."
Oh fuck off, Rick Perry !
Far be it from me to question
the wisdom of a man who failed running for president twice
and who came in 12th on "Dancing with the Stars",
meaning he lost to Mitt Romney, Donald Trump, and Vanilla Ice.
But as easy as it is to venerate sacrifice,
the thing about sacrifice is, people have to choose to do it.
And the people of Texas didn't choose to lose power, heat, and water
for days this week.
This mess only happened because those in charge didn't implement
critical lessons from 10 years ago.
While I would like to think that they will learn lessons from this week,
remember who you're dealing with here.
And right now, thousands of Texans are still struggling.
If you want to help, Feeding Texas is doing great work down there.
And the people of that state do need help.
They deserve it. Just as they deserve better than a pat on the back
for their fortitude and independence as they shiver to death
and representatives who fuck off to Mexico at the first sign of danger.
And if you think that's unfair, Ted, do let me know.
Don't bother calling to tell me. Have Heidi text it to one of her friends.
I'm sure it'll get back to me eventually. And now this !
And now... People Who Went to Harvard.
I don't hold myself out as some kind of genius,
but I went to Harvard.
I went to Harvard.
I went to Harvard in the mid-nineties.
I went to Harvard undergraduate.
And I should declare something. I'm a Harvard graduate.
- I went to Harvard Business School. - That's right !
I went to Harvard Business School and worked at Goldman Sachs.
- I went to Harvard. - Like I said, I went to Harvard.
- I went to Harvard. - And I went to Harvard.
I'm trained in economics. I went to Harvard.
- Who didn't support our troops ? - At Harvard, I went to Harvard.
I feel like what's interesting about me is I went to Harvard Law School.
Erica, I went to Harvard Law School.
- I did go to Harvard Law School. - I went to Harvard Law School.
I went to Harvard Law School and I believe in numbers and facts.
That number is from Harvard University.
It's tens of thousands of Americans a year.
But I went to Harvard University.
Moving on ! For our main story tonight,
we're gonna talk about a product that is wildly popular in this country.
But instead of telling you what it is, I'd rather show you an ad for it.
And I promise: if you have never seen this commercial before,
you will never guess what it's for.
Mom, I think Trippy's been drinking too much milk.
Somebody help !
Sometimes you don't feel like cooking. I've come up with new Perdue Entrees.
Fresh, complete entrees ready in under three minutes.
That took a turn.
And what exactly does Jim Perdue think he's doing there ?
That family doesn't need one of your shitty frozen meals !
They need someone to expel the literal devil from their demented guinea pig.
Perform an exorcism, Jim, or get the fuck out of their house !
The point is: our main story tonight concerns meat.
It's what I technically am to any animal above me on the food chain,
like a bear, or a tiger, or, if I'm being totally honest,
a medium aggressive pigeon.
If you're thinking, "This is gonna be a grim story,"
"about the conditions animals face in factory farms."
You're actually wrong.
Those conditions are horrific, but they do get talked about a lot.
This story is gonna be about the grim conditions humans are facing
working in meatpacking facilities.
If you ate meat today, it probably went through one of them.
And meatpacking is a highly consolidated industry.
Roughly 85% of beef production in US is controlled by these four companies.
And more than half of the chicken industry is controlled by these four.
Their employees are extremely important to this country's food supply.
And, to hear companies like Tyson tell it,
they're important to them on a personal level, too.
We've got the same end goal in mind: protect our team members.
They're our most valuable asset, they are our family.
I said earlier that we're a food company but we're a family.
And that's genuinely how I feel and how we operate.
Okay. If Tyson's workers are their most valuable asset,
then their workers are, by definition, not family.
Because let's be honest: nobody's family is their most valuable asset.
If you're gonna rank everything in life by how much you value it, it goes:
number one: your phone; number two: food, water, and shelter;
number three: Judi Dench, she's a fucking treasure,
and only then; your family.
That's just an empirical fact.
But it's hard to take Tyson's "workers are our family" talk, given this.
Stunning allegations made against managers
at this Tyson pork processing plant in Waterloo, Iowa,
one of the first to shut down when the coronavirus raged in the spring.
A supervisor allegedly taking bets on how many would catch the virus.
According to the allegations,
"the Plant Manager of the Waterloo Facility,
organized a cash buy-in,
winner-take-all betting pool for supervisors and managers
to wager how many employees would test positive for Covid-19."
Holy shit !
That betting pool might be the most disgusting thing
ever created in a Tyson factory, which is frankly saying something,
given that Tyson also makes ranch-flavored chicken chips,
a snack one customer reviewed online with the note,
"DISGUSTING ! I gagged in front of my child."
That review is on Tyson's actual website.
Tyson fired seven managers at that plant after that incident.
But it does speak to a larger problem in this industry.
Because while companies have put out endless press statements
about the expense they've gone to to protect their workers,
workers themselves dispute those claims heavily.
And they've been hit hard. As of February 18th,
at least 57,000 meatpacking workers have contracted the virus
and at least 280 have died.
The broader truth is that the treatment of workers in this industry
has been very bad for a very long time, so tonight, let's look at them.
And let's start with how plants operate.
Most feature a series of long conveyor belts
with workers packed closely along the line,
chopping, deboning, or trimming fat, often at breakneck speed.
Maximum allowable line speeds in poultry have doubled since 1979,
with workers reporting averaging 35 to 45 birds per minute.
That is less than two seconds per bird. That's fast !
In the time it's taken me to explain line speeds to you,
a plant could have processed five whole birds !
There's plenty of activities that should only take two seconds,
checking the time, clearing your throat,
determining the worth of a stranger by how much you want to fuck them.
I get it.
But safely butchering a chicken probably shouldn't be one of them.
Thanks to this relentless pace, meatpacking workers have reported
it can be hard to take a break, even to go to the bathroom.
Which may explain stories like this.
This is security camera video given to our sister station
from the Smithfield production line in Virginia.
In the video, you see the employee in front take off his gloves.
Company officials confirm the man relieves himself under the line,
then puts his gloves back on and continues to work.
The worker at the center of all this has been suspended
pending the outcome of the investigation.
That is disgusting.
Yeah. It is. The combination of urine and pork is a bit upsetting.
One of the reasons I have no interest in seeing Miss Piggy's sex tape.
But it is not just that that man urinated under the production line.
It's that he was put in a position where he may have felt like he had to.
That is actually a problem across the meatpacking industry.
Oxfam released a report
detailing exactly how grim conditions can be for poultry workers
with one detail in particular that hit this local Michigan talk show hard.
Poultry industry workers are put through such extremes
that they're denied bathroom breaks,
many wearing diapers during their work day.
I know that people need jobs and they need to be employed.
But to have to stand in your owný stuff while you're working ?
My mind is racing while you're sharing those details.
I'm thinking: "Surely this is not in our country."
I get the shock there, I really do. But this is totally our country.
We live in a nation
where hundreds of thousands of homeless sleep on the streets,
people have to launch GoFundMe campaigns for medical treatment
and where George Zimmerman can auction off
the gun he used to kill Trayvon Martin,
a horrific story which, by the way, your show actually covered
in the segment directly before that one.
So, you guys have been doing a pretty good job
of showing how fucked up this country can be.
It's not just bathroom break issues, meatpacking has some
of the highest rates of occupational injury and illness in the country.
In a three-year period, a worker in the meat and poultry industry
lost a body part or was sent to the hospital
for in-patient treatment about every other day.
And a lot of this is down to dangerous working conditions.
Plants are so crowded,
a common injury is a cut from your neighbor's knife.
And those rapid line speeds can exacerbate other problems,
such as repetitive stress injuries like carpal tunnel syndrome,
all of which can leave workers feeling pretty disposable.
You got 2 000 hogs an hour going through.
You're covered with blood, feces, urine. It's easy to get hurt there.
You're doing that same movement for that same piece of the hog.
And it's nonstop, basically you're treated as a human machine.
That is clearly terrible. Nobody should be treated like a machine.
Unless, of course, it is a fun machine like an immersion blender !
I'd love to be treated like an immersion blender !
You want me to stay in a comfy drawer most of the day
and then occasionally come out to robot-fuck a soup ?
Yes, please ! Look, at this point, you might be wondering,
how do companies get away with treating their workers like this ?
Many strategically locate their plants
in areas with few job opportunities and target vulnerable groups
like former prisoners, refugees and, especially immigrants, for hiring.
175 000 immigrants work in meatpacking jobs in America.
They may be warier about complaining to authorities about mistreatment.
So, many workers are already operating at a deep disadvantage.
On top of which, companies have been able to minimize accountability
by gaming the system.
They are required to report serious injuries
to the government's worker protection agency, OSHA.
There is a simple way around that. You don't have to report those injuries
if treatment stays at a first aid level.
What do you think happens ? As a GAO report found,
plants offer first aid treatments on site,
rather than refer workers to a doctor.
The same report found even workers with severe injuries like fractures
weren't sent to doctors,
with one worker who developed a musculoskeletal disorder,
making over 90 visits to the company's nurse
before being referred to a physician.
And the workers know the game that is being played here.
There's a nurse, but she doesn't do anything for you.
For example, when our arms hurt, all she did
was apply Bengay ointment and send us on our way.
It's not even worth going.
I needed to see a doctor, but they refused me.
I told them, well: "Can I go down to see my own orthopedics,"
"my own specialist, my own doctor ?"
They said: "If you do, we're gonna fire you."
There are lots of good reasons to fire someone: frequent absences,
poor quality of work, because they get a little racisty on Ambien,
but wanting to see a doctor really should not be one of them.
And it's worth noting: if you do have a severe injury,
it can be hard to get relief.
In theory, you could apply for workers' compensation,
programs under which injured workers lose their ability to sue,
but in exchange, can get money to cover medical treatment and lost wages.
Those programs are run at the state level
and paid into by companies who've lobbied hard,
both to hollow those benefits out and make them harder to get.
Just before Texas overhauled its workers' comp system back in 1989,
one poultry CEO, Bo Pilgrim,
tried to personally influence proceedings in a pretty blatant way.
Senator Bob Glasgow of Stephenville
says he's never been offered a blank 10 000 dollars check.
Not until East Texas Chicken King Bo Pilgrim
strutted onto the Senate floor Wednesday.
Senator Hugh Parmer of Fort Worth says
Pilgrim slipped him either a bribe or an illegal campaign contribution.
I didn't think he was trying to give me a Christmas present.
Yeah, of course he wasn't.
Because Christmas presents aren't typically used as bribes.
That is unless you're a child of divorce.
Here it is, Billy ! A full-sized motorcycle, just like you asked for !
I think you should have it and if your mother doesn't,
well, that is on her ! She's a difficult woman, Billy.
A quick word about Bo Pilgrim.
He co-founded a company called "Pilgrim's Pride"
and blank checks to legislators
aren't even the most shameless thing he spent money on during his life.
Among other things, he had this 37-foot bust of his head
installed next to one of his distribution centers
and added this second statue underneath it
depicting him reading a Bible to his pet chicken, Henrietta.
He also built this hellacious mansion,
which locals referred to as "Cluckingham Palace",
and which included, among other atrocities,
this absolute nightmare of a bathroom that, fittingly,
has the exact color scheme of a raw chicken breast,
and this nauseating foyer featuring a painting of what appears to be
two peacocks fucking above some chickens
while a perverted owl just watches.
It wasn't just Bo Pilgrim fighting workers' comp laws.
Tyson has taken a lead in pushing for changes in workers' comp
which have made it harder for workers hurt on the job to receive payments.
In Texas, it is now possible for companies
to opt out of paying into workers' comp entirely,
and write their own rules for how much workers get for their injuries.
Tyson does exactly that, and when workers get injured in their plants,
in order to get medical care from the company,
they must first sign a document saying
they "voluntarily release, waive and forever give up" claims
arising from their injuries.
Could you not sign that ? Sure.
But then, your best bet to pay for medical coverage is to sue the company.
That could take fucking years. While Texas does now have a law
giving workers 10 days to consider signing the waiver,
before then, they could actually be pressured on the spot.
At another company, an employee who'd had both of his hands crushed
was persuaded to sign a waiver with a pen held in his teeth.
I know that this all sounds very bad. It does imply that companies like Tyson
don't care about the physical wellbeing of their workers.
But that's actually not true. Because they do seem to care much
about the physical wellbeing of some of their workers.
Employees at Tyson Fresh Meats' corporate offices in Dakota Dunes
are getting out from behind their desks.
Looks good, guys.
And into a healthy routine.
Every Tuesday and Thursday,
we offer an onsite fitness class for any employee who wants to come.
We focused on stretching at your desk. A lot of us sit at a desk a lot,
so just getting up and stretching
just that little bit of movement throughout the day helps, too.
We had a workshop on meditation last week and it was pretty good
clearing your mind and relaxing, stuff you can do at work.
You know what ? It's true !
Meditation is great for clearing your mind.
You just have to sit still, focus on your breath,
not to think about the camera crew that's filming a piece
about your corporate office culture that will one day be juxtaposed
with how appallingly your company treats workers in its factories.
Are those thoughts going to creep in to your mind ? Sure.
But just acknowledge them, and return to your breath. Namaste.
The contrast between Tyson's corporate offices and their plants is stark,
almost as stark as the disparity between their salaried workers,
over 73 percent of whom are white, and their hourly workers,
over 68 percent of whom are Black, Asian, or Latino.
It's just a fun fact I'm throwing in there for no particular reason.
Ideally, you would want the government to remedy some of what you've seen.
Unfortunately, OSHA is woefully understaffed.
As of April, its number of inspectors had dropped to a 45-year low.
At current staffing levels, it would take OSHA 165 years
to inspect every workplace under its jurisdiction.
And even on the rare occasions that inspectors do get to visit the plants,
the limits to what they're allowed to do in there can be ridiculous.
In the southeast,
where a huge proportion of the poultry industry resides,
there is actually a lawsuit that has prevented OSHA inspectors
from doing broader searches in poultry factories,
even when they know workers are getting seriously injured.
In one case, an inspector was told to put a box over her head
so she wouldn't see any safety hazards in the plant
if she wanted to walk through the plant to investigate a fire.
Okay. Not to state the obvious here, but "Put a box on your head"
is not an instruction you give when everything is up to code.
It's just inherently suspicious.
Right this way, inspector. Now if you'll also just please
plug your nose and spin around three times, we can begin the tour.
Even when OSHA finds violations, their power to do anything is weak.
In 2019, the average fine for a serious safety violation,
a hazard where there is a substantial probability of death or serious harm,
was just over 3 700 dollars,
meaning it can genuinely be cheaper for companies to run an unsafe plant
and occasionally pay those fines
than for them to provide a safe work environment.
All of this came to a head last year when the pandemic hit.
Companies' corporate workers worked from home
because it wasn't safe for them to be in the office,
but the plants were kept open, despite the fact, as you have seen,
it's nearly impossible to socially distance on a line.
And when workers, entirely predictably, then started dying,
the federal response was characteristically weak.
After six workers from a JBS plant in Colorado died from Covid,
the company's total fine was just 15 000 dollars.
And for the family of Saul Sanchez, one of those workers,
that understandably didn't sit well.
Saul Sanchez worked for the company for nearly three decades
and never called in sick a single time.
He was the first JBS worker to die of Covid-19
and his family says his funeral costs
more than the fine this company's now facing.
It's a huge slap on the face.
They bring in over 50 billion dollars a year
and they get slapped with 15 000.
That's what enables those companies to not care for their employees.
That fine amounts
to .00003 percent of JBS's profits last year.
And if you fine a company a fraction of a percent of their profits,
don't be surprised when they carry on
only giving a fraction of a fuck about the welfare of their workers.
Legally I have to tell you:
JBS claims that that fine, and the government's finding
that they failed to protect their employees from exposure to Covid,
is entirely without merit.
Not only that, they are even fighting the claims
for workers' comp survivor benefits from Saul Sanchez's widow,
and others who've lost loved ones,
their argument being that the Covid infections were not work-related.
Although, to be honest, that's a hard argument for them to land,
given that the outbreak got so bad there, at one point,
they had to shut the fucking plant down.
What can we do here ? At least for the duration of the pandemic,
OSHA should implement a federal emergency workplace standard,
giving meatpacking workers the right to social distancing and protections.
Longer-term, that agency needs to be rebuilt and strengthened.
The USDA should do more to ensure lines move at safe speeds.
When it comes to workers' comp,
we should be setting a baseline for what states have to offer,
'cause otherwise, the race to the bottom will just continue.
All of this has to be done quickly. Because things are critical now.
Remember that Tyson plant with the "winner-take-all" betting pool ?
As of mid-December,
more than 1 500 employees contracted the virus and eight died.
So, if Tyson truly is a family like they love to claim,
it seems to be a pretty fucking dysfunctional one.
And when you take all of this together, the diapers,
the endless trips to the nursing station, the injuries and the deaths,
you frankly only need to take a peek inside the way this industry operates
to draw a simple conclusion.
That is disgusting.
Yeah, it is. It really is. And now this.
Working Remotely Sucks for "The People's Court", Too.
We here at "The People's Court" are practicing social distancing.
So, we will be adjudicating cases from our very own virtual courtroom.
- Gentleman, can you hear me ? - Yes.
Mr. Glynn, there's no smoking in court.
I didn't realize you could see me.
I don't know why...
Can I just ask you: the stuffed animal that's in your hand ?
I'll put it down. It belongs to my nephew.
The end table is the one that...
You know I can see you, right ? When you roll your eyes at me ?
Please bring it very close to me, so that I can read it.
The battery's going low.
Put a charger. I don't want to end up losing your testimony.
I can do it, but I would have to go into the kitchen.
I think I see my dog, hold on. Do you want to see my dogs ?
No, I just want to see the table.
Is there some problem, gentlemen ? Can you lift your heads ?
Why don't you leave your hand at your earphone.
You can't leave both hands
'cause I need one hand to bring that up to the camera so that I can read it.
That's our show. Thank you. We'll see you next week, good night.
LAST WEEK TONIGHT WITH JOHN OLIVER
END OF EPISODE 2, SEASON VIII