1 00:00:03,738 --> 00:00:05,277 Pop quiz. 2 00:00:05,281 --> 00:00:09,198 Why did Evie Grayson become the King's point killer? 3 00:00:09,202 --> 00:00:10,950 Any takers? 4 00:00:10,954 --> 00:00:15,291 "Oh, she was evil. She was deranged". 5 00:00:16,418 --> 00:00:19,125 It's a question I've thought a lot about, 6 00:00:19,129 --> 00:00:21,322 and the answer is so freaking simple. 7 00:00:22,340 --> 00:00:26,569 She was sick of being treated like a dog. 8 00:00:41,091 --> 00:00:45,091 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 9 00:00:52,996 --> 00:00:54,910 Hola, muchachos. 10 00:00:54,914 --> 00:00:58,372 It's me, the Roarcat. 11 00:00:58,376 --> 00:01:00,044 Roarcat. 12 00:01:03,047 --> 00:01:04,879 Hola, muchachos. 13 00:01:04,883 --> 00:01:07,385 Work it for the thumbnail! 14 00:01:09,053 --> 00:01:11,890 Welcome to the Rory story. 15 00:01:13,558 --> 00:01:19,643 If you couldn't guess, today is all about those beautiful pores. 16 00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:22,388 I have an oatmeal mask on and if you want... 17 00:01:37,248 --> 00:01:39,084 Oh, no, no. 18 00:01:40,835 --> 00:01:42,754 No, no, no... 19 00:01:44,856 --> 00:01:46,691 No, no, no... 20 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:52,013 No, no. 21 00:01:53,890 --> 00:01:56,017 Rory! Living room, now! 22 00:02:01,022 --> 00:02:02,561 Yes, violets. 23 00:02:02,565 --> 00:02:05,672 It's says for the boys in blue. Right, blue everything. 24 00:02:05,677 --> 00:02:07,857 Everything has to be blue, Beth. 25 00:02:07,862 --> 00:02:11,570 I don't want some DJ. This is a soiree. 26 00:02:11,574 --> 00:02:14,198 I want to have ambiance and jazz. 27 00:02:14,202 --> 00:02:16,909 Hey, cake. Money is over there. 28 00:02:16,913 --> 00:02:18,567 Mom, I need to talk to you. 29 00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:21,538 About that bomb that went off on your face? 30 00:02:21,543 --> 00:02:23,741 I told you not to post that stupid photo. 31 00:02:23,745 --> 00:02:25,501 They're trolling me again. 32 00:02:25,505 --> 00:02:27,962 Cause some kids think that you like mayonnaise, Rory? 33 00:02:27,966 --> 00:02:29,839 Officers are being slaughtered in the streets. 34 00:02:29,843 --> 00:02:31,090 Go. 35 00:02:31,094 --> 00:02:33,634 Oh, Beth. Help me. I'm drowning in hormones here. 36 00:02:33,638 --> 00:02:34,969 They think I'm a joke. 37 00:02:34,973 --> 00:02:39,265 Rory, it's just high school. Just breathe. 38 00:02:39,269 --> 00:02:41,142 Hi, Beth. Sorry. 39 00:02:41,146 --> 00:02:45,020 Uh, yeah, go ahead and order some... 40 00:03:06,713 --> 00:03:09,716 Not... Not today. 41 00:03:33,198 --> 00:03:36,405 I mean, really. Do those even qualify as shorts? 42 00:03:36,409 --> 00:03:38,564 Rory, think about it. 43 00:03:38,568 --> 00:03:41,242 What would your father say? 44 00:03:41,247 --> 00:03:42,665 I don't know. 45 00:03:44,250 --> 00:03:46,252 Dad, thoughts? 46 00:03:52,133 --> 00:03:53,134 Right. 47 00:04:17,117 --> 00:04:19,369 ♪ Ice cream, ice cream ♪ 48 00:04:21,079 --> 00:04:22,549 ♪ Ice cream, ice cream ♪ 49 00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:24,359 Uh, ladies and gentlemen, 50 00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:26,871 we've got mayonnaise Mary rolling through. 51 00:04:29,170 --> 00:04:31,168 Hey, Moses. 52 00:04:31,172 --> 00:04:32,590 No mayo for me. 53 00:04:33,633 --> 00:04:35,080 Do you have my mom's cake? 54 00:04:35,084 --> 00:04:37,795 Do you mean, the sickest cake ever made? 55 00:04:39,013 --> 00:04:40,845 Grab a sit. 56 00:04:40,849 --> 00:04:44,056 Wow. Rory, you look so cute. 57 00:04:44,060 --> 00:04:45,757 What do you call this trailblazing look? 58 00:04:45,761 --> 00:04:47,617 Your fans need to know. 59 00:04:47,622 --> 00:04:49,787 The kids have one condiment on the brain, 60 00:04:49,791 --> 00:04:52,043 and it is mayonnaise. 61 00:04:54,404 --> 00:04:58,362 Here we go. For our fallen heroes. 62 00:04:58,366 --> 00:05:01,699 I don't think I've ever known a celebrity before. 63 00:05:01,703 --> 00:05:03,909 Um, I've peed next to Conan once. 64 00:05:03,913 --> 00:05:06,445 Not all gingers are Conan, Raz. 65 00:05:06,449 --> 00:05:08,280 Could you take a photo with me? 66 00:05:08,284 --> 00:05:09,869 Um, yeah. 67 00:05:11,296 --> 00:05:12,418 I mean, why? 68 00:05:12,422 --> 00:05:15,083 Cause you're like internet famous. 69 00:05:21,222 --> 00:05:23,262 No thirst-trapping. 70 00:05:23,266 --> 00:05:25,389 Do the "Mayo Mary" face from the meme. 71 00:05:25,393 --> 00:05:28,146 Um, my name's not Mary. 72 00:05:32,066 --> 00:05:33,651 We all know you look good. 73 00:05:34,903 --> 00:05:36,592 It's just a joke. 74 00:05:36,597 --> 00:05:37,692 It's cool. 75 00:05:37,697 --> 00:05:39,741 Yeah, people can't hate it if you own it. 76 00:05:49,834 --> 00:05:51,644 Look, it's Mayonnaise Mary. 77 00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:06,741 "Cause crime rates are like roach infestations. 78 00:07:06,745 --> 00:07:09,526 You have to be swift and mercenary 79 00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:11,074 in stomping out the bad guys". 80 00:07:12,876 --> 00:07:13,998 - I like it. - Right? 81 00:07:14,002 --> 00:07:15,516 And then I'll switch to talking about these... 82 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:16,809 Are you making dinner tonight? 83 00:07:16,813 --> 00:07:19,482 These awful critics. There's quick mac in the pantry. 84 00:07:20,550 --> 00:07:23,123 And then I'll start talking about the fundraiser and, 85 00:07:23,127 --> 00:07:26,781 oh, that reminds me. I need to... people... 86 00:07:28,308 --> 00:07:31,348 So you want to join the old speech for Gave, Ror? 87 00:07:31,352 --> 00:07:33,258 Um, I get that you're compensating, 88 00:07:33,262 --> 00:07:36,270 but that outfit screams prostitute 89 00:07:36,274 --> 00:07:38,397 in bright neon letters. 90 00:07:38,401 --> 00:07:40,528 I know. My tricks love it. 91 00:07:41,780 --> 00:07:43,448 I bet they do. 92 00:10:26,236 --> 00:10:27,487 Birchwood. 93 00:10:52,887 --> 00:10:54,677 Stupid. 94 00:10:54,681 --> 00:10:55,803 Dumb. 95 00:10:55,807 --> 00:10:57,767 Dumb, dumb, dumb. 96 00:11:28,047 --> 00:11:30,171 Hola, muchachos. 97 00:11:30,175 --> 00:11:32,757 Welcome to the Rory story. 98 00:11:32,761 --> 00:11:34,925 Pop quiz. 99 00:11:34,929 --> 00:11:38,600 Why did Evie Grayson become the King's point killer? 100 00:11:39,726 --> 00:11:41,060 Any takers? 101 00:11:42,145 --> 00:11:46,566 "Um, she was evil. She was deranged". 102 00:11:48,234 --> 00:11:50,570 It's a question I've thought a lot about. 103 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,482 And the answer is so freaking simple. 104 00:11:56,076 --> 00:12:00,205 She was sick of being treated like a dog. 105 00:12:03,541 --> 00:12:05,122 So... 106 00:12:05,126 --> 00:12:07,850 who here believes in the stories about the woods 107 00:12:07,854 --> 00:12:11,065 and those things that go bumpity bump in the night? 108 00:12:13,176 --> 00:12:15,758 Since Evie went missing a year ago, 109 00:12:15,762 --> 00:12:18,177 I've dived into research. 110 00:12:18,181 --> 00:12:20,127 The newspaper articles, blogs, 111 00:12:20,132 --> 00:12:22,347 my mom's fiancé's old case files. 112 00:12:22,352 --> 00:12:26,227 And, you know what? I found some instructions. 113 00:12:26,231 --> 00:12:31,649 Notes on how to conjure up a certain companion of Evie's. 114 00:12:31,653 --> 00:12:33,526 A protector. 115 00:12:33,530 --> 00:12:37,446 To quote my findings, "I will gift her my blood. 116 00:12:37,450 --> 00:12:42,326 I will gift her the possessions of those who scarred me deepest. 117 00:12:42,330 --> 00:12:43,953 And in return, 118 00:12:43,957 --> 00:12:46,664 I will receive her loving protection 119 00:12:46,668 --> 00:12:50,042 against their awful stench". 120 00:12:50,046 --> 00:12:53,045 Oh, I hope you enjoyed kicking me Brian Moses. 121 00:12:53,049 --> 00:12:55,464 Because just like Evie Grayson, 122 00:12:55,468 --> 00:12:58,346 I'm done being treated like a dog. 123 00:13:01,433 --> 00:13:02,684 No. 124 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:35,000 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -