1
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:15,765
What up, y'all? It's your girl Sasha here,
with my girl, Zia.
2
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,517
And we're the first to get our hands
3
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,478
on Bay Cosmetics' unreleased
new exfoliating lip gloss.
4
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:24,399
- Mmm-hmm. We're on some next-level...
- Shh!
5
00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:26,026
Our dads are watching!
6
00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:27,109
Oh.
7
00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:29,029
- Okay.
- Okay, so...
8
00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:30,739
- [Sasha] Mmm-hmm.
- [Zia] Mmm-mmm.
9
00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:31,948
- Blot.
- Mmm...
10
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,450
- Good? Yeah?
- Okay, yes.
11
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:36,036
Now, tell me your first impressions, Zia.
12
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:39,706
Well, when I first met you,
I thought you were a little stuck-up.
13
00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:42,000
- Always on...
- Can we stick to the lip gloss?
14
00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:43,710
Oh, right. Gotcha. Okay. [clears throat]
15
00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:46,504
- Well, this is a great color. You know?
- Oh, love it.
16
00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:49,132
I mean, it goes with everything.
Not sticky at all.
17
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:51,593
Has a little bit of a tingle,
but that's okay.
18
00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:53,344
People like a little tingle.
19
00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:56,181
[chuckling] I know I do.
20
00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:58,975
- Okay, it's a little more than a tingle.
- More than a tingle?
21
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,977
It kinda feels like a Flamin' Hot Cheeto!
22
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,312
I like Hot Cheetos.
23
00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:04,773
Okay, something's not right!
My lips are on fire!
24
00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:06,524
Hell, yes, girl!
25
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:09,486
I told you you were
gonna look smoke and fire.
26
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,321
And your lips could be fire, too.
27
00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:13,698
All you need to do
is go to the Bay Cosmetics website
28
00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:15,033
to pre-order yours today.
29
00:01:15,116 --> 00:01:17,660
And make sure to use
the promo code "bad biotch."
30
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:19,454
No, biotch! Something's not right!
31
00:01:19,537 --> 00:01:21,456
My lips, they're melting off my face!
32
00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:22,725
- They're melting off...
- Yes!
33
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,834
- Help! Help!
- I don't... What do you mean...
34
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,753
Don't worry, baby! Daddy's here!
35
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,885
So, you know,
36
00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:37,055
like, comment, subscribe.
37
00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:44,604
♪ We can laugh, we can hang
But don't embarrass me ♪
38
00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:47,941
♪ Please don't say the wrong thing, Dad
Don't embarrass me again ♪
39
00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:50,610
♪ We can dance, we can joke
But don't embarrass me ♪
40
00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:53,696
♪ Don't embarrass me
Please, Dad, don't embarrass me ♪
41
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,658
♪ I know that you mean well
But don't be so foul ♪
42
00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:59,828
♪ When I'm hanging with my friends
Please don't be acting wild ♪
43
00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:04,415
Stace. Stace, stop pacing. Stop pacing.
44
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:07,001
I knew I shouldn't have
got you that Fitbit for Christmas.
45
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:09,546
The stress is helping me get my steps in.
I'm at 15,000.
46
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:12,048
Okay, yeah... Well, okay. Great. Listen.
47
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,300
Are you on the phone
with the German manufacturers?
48
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:15,844
Yeah, what's taking so long?
49
00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:18,263
We cannot put out this new lip gloss
until this gets fixed.
50
00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:20,265
Oh, "we"? We're not "we."
51
00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:22,851
You quit Coke,
came to work here for a day,
52
00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:24,102
then joined Pepsi.
53
00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:27,272
You ain't loyal
and you got high sodium levels.
54
00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:29,607
I am very loyal.
55
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:32,944
Okay, I know this is Mom's company,
but Mama didn't raise no fool.
56
00:02:33,027 --> 00:02:34,027
Pepsi doubled my salary.
57
00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:37,282
Well, let's just see
if Pepsi invites you to Thanksgiving.
58
00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:40,577
Damn, you still on hold?
59
00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:41,661
Yeah. It's not so bad.
60
00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:43,872
They're playing
"I Can't Feel My Face" in German.
61
00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:45,456
Sounds a lot angrier, though.
62
00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:47,959
Sash, how's Zia doing?
63
00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:49,919
She's okay. Her lips are healing.
64
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,797
Here, I took a picture.
The swelling's gone way down.
65
00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:54,549
- Oh!
- [Stacy exclaiming]
66
00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:56,718
- Damn. Lord, have mercy.
- [Stacy] Oh, my God!
67
00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:59,220
Oh, she look like a bigmouth bass.
68
00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:02,098
Shut up, Brian.
69
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,601
But I guess it's safe to say
she's hooked on Bay.
70
00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:07,520
[laughing] Too soon, too soon.
71
00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:09,272
Yeah, too soon.
72
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:12,483
I mean, our video
already has 200,000 views.
73
00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:13,567
Oh, my God.
74
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:16,654
Zia's lips ain't
the only thing blowing up.
75
00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:20,200
Look, I got a feeling
all of this is gonna blow over.
76
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,827
No, this could affect our sales
across the board.
77
00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:25,455
#Baysucks is trending number one
on all platforms.
78
00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:27,540
We're even on the home page of LinkedIn.
79
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:30,752
This is a hell of a first week
to be the head of marketing.
80
00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:33,213
Look, we just gotta stay calm,
cool and collected,
81
00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:34,589
like Denzel in all his movies.
82
00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:39,969
All right. Okay. All right. Okay.
All right. All right, okay.
83
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:41,596
Uh, yes, hello.
84
00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:44,807
Okay, Denzel, say, "All right, okay."
It's the factory in Düsseldorf.
85
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:48,061
I'm about to go Christoph Waltz
on they ass.
86
00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:49,562
Guten Tag.
87
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:53,524
- [Brian continues indistinctly]
- I can't believe this.
88
00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:55,026
You know, I'm so overwhelmed
89
00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:58,571
because all we were trying to do
was just promote Bay on our IG Live.
90
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,908
Oh, sweetheart, it is not your fault.
91
00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:04,285
Or Zia's. Blame Johnny's genetics.
92
00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:07,747
Seriously? [scoffs]
93
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:08,915
Leave me alone.
94
00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:10,416
Blocked.
95
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,144
What? Who are you blocking?
What's going on?
96
00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:15,046
Since that video dropped,
I've been dealing with a bully.
97
00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:17,257
They keep telling me
to set myself on fire.
98
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:19,175
What? Who's bullying my niece?
99
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,802
I will cut that little bitch!
100
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:24,138
Which refers to him, her or they.
[chuckles nervously]
101
00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:27,976
Oh, my gosh.
Bullies are the worst. I'm so sorry.
102
00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:32,188
I remember my bully from high school.
What a horrible individual.
103
00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:35,816
Hey, Robert.
104
00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:37,068
Hey, Chelsea.
105
00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:38,987
Uh, I did your homework, like you asked.
106
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:41,739
Good. You know what's better
than doing my homework?
107
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:43,908
That Jordan. What size you wear?
108
00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:46,286
- Six.
- Perfect!
109
00:04:48,579 --> 00:04:51,499
Bring me the other one tomorrow,
or I'll break your other foot.
110
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:56,462
Bullies ain't shit.
111
00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,507
I'm just not sure how to handle it.
112
00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:00,800
What do you think, Stacy?
113
00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:04,387
Well, I would just have
an honest conversation with this person
114
00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:06,180
about how it's making you feel.
115
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:08,850
Or do like I did
and just eat your lunch in the bathroom.
116
00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:13,396
[scoffs] What happened to your bully?
117
00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:14,479
[sighs]
118
00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:17,650
Hey, Chelsea.
119
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,444
My mama said I should talk to you.
120
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:23,573
I really need my Jordans back.
121
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:25,575
I don't know about your Jordans.
122
00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,285
I'm wearing my Jordans.
123
00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:28,828
And tell your punk-ass mama
124
00:05:28,911 --> 00:05:31,080
to make those tuna sandwiches
I like tomorrow.
125
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,374
No crusts,
and there better be Fritos, fool.
126
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:35,835
[Chelsea laughing]
127
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,507
God, I miss high school.
128
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,051
Do we have any Fritos?
129
00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:48,264
- Thank you, guys, for the advice.
- Yeah.
130
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,308
But can you please
not say anything to my dad?
131
00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:52,268
You know how he can
overreact to everything.
132
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,392
[Brian] And another thing.
133
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:55,355
I'm never watching
Inglourious Basterds again.
134
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:00,818
Brian! That was my phone!
135
00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:03,654
See? They messed up
the ingredients in the lip gloss,
136
00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,198
and then they messed your phone up.
137
00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:06,281
Yeah, okay.
138
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,662
Get with me, just like this. Here we go.
139
00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:15,666
Get ready. Over here, over there,
in the air, crack it.
140
00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,293
- [exclaims]
- [Sash sighs]
141
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:18,877
Why are we doing this?
142
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,214
Because we are the Dixons.
We're the Dixon family.
143
00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:22,632
That's all we do, is fight.
144
00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:23,883
We're known for that.
145
00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:25,760
Not only that, we live in Atlanta,
146
00:06:25,843 --> 00:06:27,678
and it's home of the Waffle House brawls.
147
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:30,598
Somebody drop their sausage on your foot,
you got to get at it.
148
00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:34,102
Okay, well, maybe you forgot,
149
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:36,145
but I spent a lot of time
with my grandparents
150
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,563
in Chiraq, Killinois.
151
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:40,358
Your grandparents would sleep
at 6:30 in the afternoon.
152
00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:43,528
Not only that, the only gun you saw
was a Super Soaker.
153
00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:45,570
All right, now come on.
154
00:06:45,613 --> 00:06:47,508
What'll you do
when somebody runs up on you? Huh?
155
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:48,533
Call Zia.
156
00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:52,245
Call Zia for what?
So she can dumb everything down?
157
00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:54,497
Come on, hit me right in the hands.
158
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:55,706
That ain't my hand!
159
00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:57,625
That ain't my hands!
160
00:06:58,292 --> 00:06:59,710
Ah! That's a good one, though.
161
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:01,587
I gotta put some ice on my umbilical cord.
162
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,089
[breathing heavily]
163
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,884
I tell you what, girl,
that bully ain't got nothing on you.
164
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:08,761
How did you know I had a bully?
165
00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:10,847
Your daddy knows everything, baby.
166
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,432
Plus, I got eyes in the back of my...
167
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:13,891
Stacy told you, didn't she?
168
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:16,686
Yeah, that's right.
That's right, she did. You know what?
169
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:19,313
It doesn't matter, though,
because everybody got bullies, okay?
170
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:21,566
When I was growing up,
I didn't have no bullies...
171
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:24,318
That ain't the way I remember it.
Tell her about Keith Henderson.
172
00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:26,904
Wait, what! Where? Keith!
173
00:07:28,322 --> 00:07:30,992
That boy, Keith Henderson,
was a bad mother...
174
00:07:31,075 --> 00:07:34,036
Shut your mouth! He was a grown-ass man.
175
00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:37,748
Keith Henderson tried
to whoop everybody's ass.
176
00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:40,543
He almost whooped my ass,
and he was in eighth grade.
177
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:43,004
- But you know, I got that clack-clack!
- Uh-huh.
178
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:47,091
No, I don't think you understand.
He was a grown-ass man.
179
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:49,385
He was the only kid
in the whole of middle school
180
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:50,553
going through a divorce.
181
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:53,222
He got even meaner when he lost custody.
182
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,515
[chuckles]
183
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:57,268
Wait, wait. Who is Keith Henderson?
184
00:07:57,351 --> 00:07:59,770
Make it stop! Make it stop!
185
00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:00,854
[whimpering]
186
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:03,441
You know how many honeys
will be at the game?
187
00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:04,567
That's what I'm saying.
188
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:07,403
You get to your spot,
we definitely going to the championship.
189
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,739
- Then we celebrating.
- What!
190
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:15,077
Yo, Dixon. Nice chain. Let me wear that.
191
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,454
No, man. Stall me out.
192
00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:17,580
Yeah, leave him alone.
193
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:20,249
Are you putting your nose in this?
Give me your chain, too.
194
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,044
I'll give it to you.
195
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:27,298
But can I keep the locket?
It has a picture of my grandparents.
196
00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:29,842
My grandparents now. Get out of here.
197
00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:33,721
Now, back to you, Dixon.
198
00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:35,848
Give me that chain before I take it off.
199
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:37,683
- It's my dad's chain.
- "My dad's chain."
200
00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:39,101
Bitch, I'm your daddy!
201
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:40,811
Now, say it with me. Who's your daddy?
202
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:41,729
Willie Dixon!
203
00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:44,065
Man, my name ain't no Willie Dixon!
204
00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:47,151
You get one last chance
to say it right. Who's your daddy?
205
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:48,611
Keith Henderson.
206
00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:49,694
Damn right.
207
00:08:50,446 --> 00:08:51,447
Beat it.
208
00:08:52,156 --> 00:08:53,282
But that's my chain.
209
00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:55,910
That's my chain.
210
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,246
That's my chain!
211
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:01,582
That was my chain! It was my chain!
212
00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:03,626
Actually, it was my chain.
213
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:04,752
And it was my belt, too,
214
00:09:04,835 --> 00:09:08,047
that I gave you that second ass-whooping
when you got back home.
215
00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:10,925
Dang, Dad. Come on.
216
00:09:11,008 --> 00:09:12,468
That... That really sucks.
217
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,845
I didn't know that you dealt with a bully.
218
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:16,389
It was all good, Sash.
219
00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:21,060
You know, I had to deal with it,
you know, for about six, seven years.
220
00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:23,271
You know, but Keith got his, you know,
221
00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:26,148
'cause he eventually grew up
and he went to prison.
222
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:29,193
That's right. He went to jail
and braided a lot of hair.
223
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:32,863
Mmm-hmm, they called him Greasy Knuckle.
224
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:35,408
[Brian sighs]
225
00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:39,120
Yeah, well, I appreciate
you trying to look out for me,
226
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:40,830
but there's really nothing you can do.
227
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:43,040
There is.
We're the Dixons and we stick together.
228
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:44,924
Just tell me,
'cause we coming to your school.
229
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,085
He doesn't go to my school.
230
00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:49,005
- Okay, tell me which school he goes to.
- I don't know. It's online.
231
00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:51,257
Online High School?
Let's get to Online High School.
232
00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:53,301
- Just pull it up.
- No, no, no! It's online!
233
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:56,738
- What do you mean, "online"?
- I mean, it's online. It's...
234
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:59,140
You mean it's actually not a real bully?
235
00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:00,308
You young'uns!
236
00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:02,435
We had real bullies
who'd come in our classroom
237
00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:03,728
and do like this, look at you.
238
00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:04,812
And you'd be like,
239
00:10:04,895 --> 00:10:07,335
"Okay, I gotta figure out a way
after school how to get home."
240
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:12,695
- You don't have a real bully?
- No. You ever heard of cyberbullying?
241
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,739
He's online.
242
00:10:14,822 --> 00:10:17,533
How about this? Click. He's offline.
243
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:21,203
What? I'm not gonna
log off my Instagram 'cause of one troll.
244
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,664
I don't care how short or tall he is.
245
00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:26,334
Give me his Instagram handle.
246
00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:28,294
It's SashaDixonSux.
247
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:30,671
Boy, boy, boy.
248
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,107
[chuckling] Watch this. Watch me work.
249
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:35,635
"SashaDixonSux, this is Sasha's father,
250
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:39,639
and when I see you,
I'm gonna kick your ass!"
251
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,558
Mmm-hmm, take a look at that. [laughing]
252
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,769
[chuckling] I think
you spelled that wrong.
253
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:49,398
[scoffs] Kiss... "Kiss your ass"?
Damn autocorrect.
254
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,776
- [message tone rings]
- Oh, he hit back.
255
00:10:51,859 --> 00:10:54,070
Uh, "Sasha Dixon's father,
256
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:57,156
when you kiss my ass,
I hope you're not wearing that lip gloss,
257
00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:58,949
'cause I'll get boils on my butt."
258
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:03,329
Ooh, I told you. They're good.
259
00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:06,666
"Ooh." Whose side are you on?
260
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:08,376
Let me show you how to get this.
261
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:10,086
[mumbling indistinctly]
262
00:11:12,421 --> 00:11:13,964
[laughing]
263
00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:15,549
That says "duck you."
264
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:16,842
What?
265
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:19,637
Autocorrect, suck my duck!
266
00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:30,189
- Ooh.
- Ta-da!
267
00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:34,860
- This ain't Pappadeaux's.
- No, this is better than Pappadeaux's.
268
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,320
It's more like "Pops at the door."
269
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,657
Johnny, why are we at my house?
270
00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:42,660
You said to stop asking you out on dates,
271
00:11:42,743 --> 00:11:44,745
so I decided to ask you in on a date.
272
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:47,707
[Willie] Bonjour, monsieur.
273
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:51,001
Now look, we don't have no menu,
but I memorized the specials.
274
00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:53,671
We got leftover sushi
and three-day-old barbecue.
275
00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:56,799
The chef recommends the barbecue
'cause the sushi don't travel well.
276
00:11:57,508 --> 00:11:58,508
Here you go.
277
00:11:59,051 --> 00:11:59,885
What's this?
278
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:03,472
That's the check.
The bill is due before you chew.
279
00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:08,519
I said I'd pay you
to have this catered with fine dining,
280
00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:09,602
not your leftovers.
281
00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:12,982
Our leftovers come
from a very fine establishment.
282
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,109
[in French accent] Le Crack-el Barr-el.
283
00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:17,987
Does the barbecue
come with baked beans?
284
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,131
[speaking normally] It did.
285
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:22,199
I'll bring your things
when the microwave dings.
286
00:12:29,957 --> 00:12:32,835
Isn't this nice?
It's our first official date.
287
00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:34,170
This is not a date.
288
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:37,131
Hey, if it's not a date, why is there
someone here selling flowers?
289
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:39,341
That's just Manny.
290
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:40,676
No, that's not Manny!
291
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,387
He's Manuel, the flower salesman.
292
00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:46,348
- Buenas noches. Good evening.
- [Chelsea scoffs]
293
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:49,018
- Some flowers for the madam?
- Gracias, señor.
294
00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:51,896
- We'll take all the flowers you have.
- Sí, cómo no.
295
00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:57,234
"RIP Gladys"? Who the hell is that?
296
00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,528
[voice breaking]
That's my third-grade teacher.
297
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:02,490
And we thank her
for bringing us together in death.
298
00:13:03,991 --> 00:13:05,034
That will be $75.
299
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:08,788
Seventy-five dollars?
You just stole them off her gravesite!
300
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:10,998
No, hand-picked them off her gravesite.
301
00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:20,382
Thank you.
Uh, might I interest you in a casket?
302
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,592
Why would we want a casket?
303
00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:24,595
Oh, I don't know.
It seems like this relationship is dying.
304
00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,640
- This isn't a relationship.
- Yet!
305
00:13:27,723 --> 00:13:29,099
[microwave dings]
306
00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:38,108
We didn't order sushi.
307
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:39,652
Barbecue's gone.
308
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:43,739
- We'd like some wine.
- So would I.
309
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,075
Let me know if y'all gonna
make a liquor store run.
310
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:49,537
Ooh! [laughing]
311
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,288
Marcus is so crazy.
312
00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:55,709
[mock chuckling]
Who is Marcus? And why is he so crazy?
313
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:58,087
He's my little trainer friend.
314
00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:01,298
But he gonna take me
to the real Pappadeaux's tomorrow night.
315
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,843
That doesn't sound
like a very responsible trainer.
316
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,971
Don't worry. He gonna work me out.
[chuckles]
317
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:13,561
Hey, I got half a Kit Kat bar
if y'all want dessert.
318
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:15,896
Speak now or forever lose this piece.
319
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:18,941
All right.
320
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:27,074
That's my chain!
Give me my chain! Keith, that's my chain!
321
00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:29,618
Give me! My neck is... My neck is naked.
322
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:32,997
My neck is naked. Keith! Keith!
323
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,999
Give it! Give it back!
324
00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:38,085
- Dad! Dad, are you okay?
- Hey! Yeah. Mmm-hmm.
325
00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:39,545
Mmm-hmm.
326
00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:41,130
What, did you sleep down here?
327
00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:44,884
Yeah, I did. I was up all night, hmm?
328
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:47,428
- Working on your troll. [chuckles]
- My troll?
329
00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:50,222
You know, I ate a whole damn box
of Troll House Cookies.
330
00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:55,519
Anyway, the great philosopher
Sun Tzu says,
331
00:14:55,603 --> 00:15:00,649
[in accent] "In order to fight the troll,
you must become the troll."
332
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:04,737
Why are you talking like Nelson Mandela?
333
00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:06,071
[in accent] I don't know.
334
00:15:07,364 --> 00:15:09,283
Anyways, my troll is gone.
335
00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:11,201
He probably found someone else to pick on.
336
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:13,621
Or he found the unemployment line,
337
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:15,998
'cause I got him fired
from Papa John's.
338
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:17,582
Sorry, Shaq.
339
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:23,356
- Thanks for looking out for me, Dad.
- Hey, that's what dads do.
340
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:26,884
But just so you know,
the troll might be coming after you next.
341
00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:30,888
Ha-ha! Look at that. See this?
I'm a thumb thug now.
342
00:15:30,971 --> 00:15:32,222
Yay-yay!
343
00:15:35,684 --> 00:15:36,684
What's up, guys?
344
00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:38,896
I'll leave you guys to yourselves.
345
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,500
Is your sister here? [chuckles nervously]
346
00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:44,360
Our date last night ended a little weird.
347
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:45,861
But she didn't mean what she said.
348
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,321
Whatever she said, she meant.
349
00:15:47,404 --> 00:15:49,531
Yeah, she said that, too.
But she didn't mean it.
350
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:52,159
Oh. I'm so sorry about Zia
and everything like that.
351
00:15:52,242 --> 00:15:53,494
But think about this.
352
00:15:53,577 --> 00:15:57,331
You don't have to worry about her
kissing any boys for a long time, hmm?
353
00:15:58,165 --> 00:16:00,668
We just gotta work the kinks out,
though, in that formula.
354
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:03,462
Oh, it's probably nothing.
Zia's allergic to everything.
355
00:16:03,545 --> 00:16:05,381
Yeah, we don't even use detergent anymore.
356
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,800
[gasps] So what are you saying?
357
00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:10,862
[hesitating] You saying that the lip gloss
actually didn't blow her lips up?
358
00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:13,389
Probably not. I think you're good.
359
00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:15,683
I gotta go apologize to Gunther.
360
00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:17,101
Yeah, over in Germany.
361
00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:18,727
What time is it in Düsseldorf?
362
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,187
I...
363
00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:24,108
[Chelsea] Damn! Oh, that's deep.
Go deeper, go deeper!
364
00:16:24,191 --> 00:16:25,818
[Marcus] Yeah. Feels good, doesn't it?
365
00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:31,198
Yeah, we'll open up your hip flexors
even more later, all right?
366
00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:32,282
Yeah.
367
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:33,951
Babe! What the hell's going on?
368
00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:36,662
Hey, hey! Get away from my girlfriend!
369
00:16:36,745 --> 00:16:38,664
I am not your girlfriend!
370
00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:41,500
This is my trainer, Marcus.
371
00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:43,127
- What up, bro?
- [sighs]
372
00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:44,420
And it's just a workout.
373
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:47,798
Well, this workout ain't working out.
374
00:16:47,881 --> 00:16:49,508
Give me a second.
375
00:16:49,591 --> 00:16:51,093
You know what, Johnny? You're right.
376
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:53,679
This ain't working out. We're over.
377
00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:56,514
Uh...
378
00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:01,020
You look a little tense, bro.
379
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:02,730
Let me rub on those shoulders.
380
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,627
- [Brian] I'm good, Pop, hold it straight!
- I am!
381
00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:09,570
Trying to put this fire out.
No pun intended.
382
00:17:09,653 --> 00:17:11,071
I don't want #Baysucks trending,
383
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:13,699
and I don't want
no shaky-ass Worldstar video, either.
384
00:17:13,782 --> 00:17:15,093
Ain't nothing wrong with Worldstar.
385
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:17,036
I directed some of their greatest videos.
386
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,872
You ever seen
"The Fish That Saved Palmdale"?
387
00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:21,832
- And we're live!
- [stumbling] Uh...
388
00:17:21,915 --> 00:17:24,084
Pops, I thought you was gonna
give me an "action."
389
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,545
Oh, stop complaining, boy,
and put on your lipstick.
390
00:17:26,628 --> 00:17:27,628
Action!
391
00:17:28,088 --> 00:17:29,840
Hey. What's up? It's, uh, Brian Dixon.
392
00:17:29,923 --> 00:17:31,759
I'm the head honcho here at Bay Cosmetics.
393
00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:34,678
There was a viral video going around
with a girl whose lips exploded
394
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,388
because of our lip stock... Gloss.
395
00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:37,681
But I want to tell you this.
396
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:39,892
It wasn't our fault.
It was her father's genetics.
397
00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:41,852
That's why you can't have white friends.
398
00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:48,317
So I am here to put my lips
and my lip gloss on the line
399
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,486
live on IG. [chuckling]
400
00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:52,821
All right, here we go. Uh... [exclaims]
401
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:54,573
Kind of spicy. [chuckles]
402
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:56,950
[clicks tongue] Oh... Uh...
403
00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:58,035
Yeah... Uh...
404
00:17:58,118 --> 00:18:00,204
Put your lipstick on, boy!
What, you scared?
405
00:18:00,287 --> 00:18:02,057
[whispering] I ain't scared!
I ain't scared of nothing!
406
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,208
I always Harlem Shake
when I'm putting on lipstick.
407
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:05,531
[speaking normally] Uh, so, uh...
408
00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:07,628
Okay, here we go.
409
00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:08,545
[shivers]
410
00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:09,629
Okay, yeah.
411
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:11,673
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
412
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,383
Apply evenly. Look.
413
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:16,303
Evenly. Apply evenly. [chuckles]
414
00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:19,056
I never thought I'd say this to my son,
415
00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:21,391
but your lip gloss is popping!
416
00:18:22,392 --> 00:18:25,896
We good. And, uh...
Yeah, I feel great. Uh...
417
00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:26,979
Feels like a...
418
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:28,815
Yeah.
419
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:33,237
Feels like a flock of butterflies
on my lips.
420
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:34,571
Who cooking bacon?
421
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:37,407
Actually, it feels
like a flock of butterflies
422
00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:39,201
with razor-blade wings on my lips.
423
00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:42,005
[mumbling]
It's getting kind of hot in here.
424
00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:44,915
Pops, I'm gonna need some water.
425
00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:46,542
I can't understand what you're saying.
426
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,770
- Are they bleeding?
- Use your lips. I can't hear you.
427
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:51,171
- Are they bleeding?
- I can't see through all the smoke.
428
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:52,464
Pops! I need some water!
429
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:53,841
[exclaiming]
430
00:18:57,469 --> 00:18:58,720
I gotta get out of here!
431
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:00,097
[yells]
432
00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:01,390
[door breaks]
433
00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:07,271
I guess that's a cut.
434
00:19:08,021 --> 00:19:11,400
Damn. I knew I should have
signed that boy up for track.
435
00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:15,946
[groaning]
436
00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:20,367
Hey, Pops. Honest opinion.
437
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:23,287
- What do you think I look like?
- Oh, shit!
438
00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:27,040
[Brian] Hey.
439
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:29,793
[Willie] Oh, my God!
440
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:32,963
Your... Your lips
look like a flotation device!
441
00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:33,922
[laughing]
442
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,632
- That bad? Okay.
- [Sasha] Oh, my...
443
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,301
Y'all ain't gonna believe this!
444
00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:39,511
Bay just hit a million followers
on Instagram.
445
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:42,514
You're literally a meme!
They call you The Motherpucker.
446
00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:45,100
"Motherpucker"? What does that mean?
447
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:49,396
It means that your video is more popular
than the crying Michael Jordan meme.
448
00:19:49,479 --> 00:19:51,398
[gasps] Oh, my Jesus!
449
00:19:51,481 --> 00:19:54,401
Your mouth
looks like two airbags deployed.
450
00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:57,196
Okay. Everybody's funny.
Everybody's funny, huh?
451
00:19:57,279 --> 00:20:01,241
Now my son's famous for wearing lipstick,
I should be crying like Michael Jordan.
452
00:20:04,494 --> 00:20:07,289
- [screams] No! No, no, no!
- Oh. Oh. Oh.
453
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:11,210
Your lips look like
two hot dogs exploded in the microwave.
454
00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:13,587
- Okay. Everybody's funny.
- [Stacy] Oh.
455
00:20:13,670 --> 00:20:14,796
Look, I'm gonna be fine.
456
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:18,091
All I need is some Benadryl
and some Hennessy and this will go down.
457
00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:20,135
What's up?
458
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,221
The manufacturer confirmed
459
00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:24,723
that they put too much niacin
in the lip gloss...
460
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:25,806
You think?
461
00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:29,269
[chuckling] ...which is what's
causing the adverse reaction.
462
00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:32,272
And, um... But the good news is
you broke the Internet.
463
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:33,523
How is that good news?
464
00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:35,901
What we gonna use now,
fax machines and typewriters?
465
00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:37,402
No. Brian, listen. I'm serious.
466
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:40,739
We have never had this many pre-orders
in the history of Bay.
467
00:20:40,822 --> 00:20:43,492
We can't put it out on the street,
I'm telling you right now.
468
00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:45,202
They'll run through us like Metamucil.
469
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,162
No. Brian, listen.
470
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:50,499
We're gonna make it street-legal first,
and then we'll fill the orders.
471
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:51,750
You're about to get paid!
472
00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:54,419
The first thing you should do
is get them lips fixed.
473
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:56,713
- Yeah.
- Like, a little lip-o-suction.
474
00:20:58,757 --> 00:20:59,591
Everybody's funny.
475
00:20:59,675 --> 00:21:02,844
I ain't gotta stand for all this.
I'm going in to work.
476
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,322
- [Willie] Hey, I'm going with you.
- [Stacy] Hey!
477
00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:06,390
We can stop off at the DQ on the way.
478
00:21:09,893 --> 00:21:10,978
Oh, damn.
479
00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:13,397
[sighs]
480
00:21:14,147 --> 00:21:16,316
Uh, Stacy, make sure you lock the door.